My mom used to tell me that you can only have one best friend. Her theory was that if this friend is the best, no one else was on par. She also told me that if I made weird faces my face would get stuck and drinking milk would make me tall. But here I am with an un-stuck face while standing short at five foot four, so I’m beginning to question her sources.
No one person can be the Ultimate Best friend for another — at least according to my practice of BFF polygamy. Despite all the love and support we want to give each other, there are limitations of time, distance, food preferences and sleep schedules that need to be considered.
For example, my childhood best friend was there when I was born. That is dedication to friendship. We go on vacations together, share toothbrushes, and have witnessed respective awkward stages. But if I met her now? Not sure how seriously she would take me considering she was a Fulbright Scholar while I dream of a career that enables me to write about granny panties.
Then high school happened. I slept over her house with a frequency that had her parents wondering if I had my own bed (tbd), and she’s appeared in every awkward MySpace photo I’ve ever put up. Unfortunately, long distance relationships are tough, and she couldn’t really follow me to college.
Or maybeee she didn’t want me to follow her.
They say that long distance relationships in college end by Thanksgiving, but me and my high school best friend stuck it out. The thing is, I had shawty on the side — and didn’t have to feel guilty about it. (But attention High School Best Friend: you should feel guilty about yours. Jk. Kinda.) My college best friend knew my class schedule, where to find me in the library, and was required to keep a running list of any and all crushes.
Consider all of your best friends, from diapers ’til now. Maybe you have an internship best friend who helped you carry a 100 gallon fish tank from Brooklyn in the pouring rain at 7 pm for a shoot. Or what about your first-year-in-the-city best friend, or those people called siblings who you shared a womb with — the ones who would stab you with a staple gun if you didn’t mention them in a story about best friends.
We’re lucky to have multiple people in this world that we can trust and share our best and worst moments with. They are our best friends. Plural. Mom. Even Mindy Kaling said that Best Friend was not a person, but a tier.
So let’s turn the tables: do we need just one best friend? Or can we actually have a bunch? A tier? A friend cake! Who is/are yours?