The most underrated thing about Hey Arnold is the fashion. In fact, I would go so far as to say it’s one of the most stylish cartoons of our generation. The show’s eponymous character lives in a uniform of a crewneck knit worn over a plaid oversized button down shirt that gives him the illusion of either wearing a kilt (very Marc Jacobs) or a shirt tied around his waist (’90s redux). His best friend Gerald spends his time in a long sleeved jersey (Alexander Wang) while Sid wears a collarless leather jacket over a mock turtleneck which to me, looks very Céline.
I could go on all day comparing their wears to that which lines the racks at Barneys, but tempt me with a good time and I’ll bust out the tequila. (Aka, don’t tempt me.) The very reason I starting thinking about this in the first place, however, is because a commenter recently asked: If you were a cartoon character, what would you wear?
It’s a scary question basically asking me to commit to a lifelong wardrobe comprised of the same two to five elements (two because some cartoons wear nothing but a t-shirt and diaper, five if we’re taking more advanced stylings — like the cast of Recess — into consideration) but to answer the query my dear Miranda, I suppose I’d go with Hey Arnold’s Eugene Horowitz.
He is as unassumingly preppy as the show is stylish in his classic white polo and navy shorts. I would probably sling them low on my hips as I’m recently wan to do, or wear them high with a big thick brown belt and look very Chloé. I’d swap his white sock/flip flop combo for those white Birkenstocks I won’t shut up about (and to Eugene’s credit, they’re equally dad-on-a-vacation-esque), throw on a utility jacket should it get chilly, and then spend the rest of my life hanging out on my cartoon stoop, looking awesome, and changing only underwear.
And so now, the real question: what about you?
— Amelia Diamond