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Get Your Shit Together and Exercise
05.01.15

You listened to the eating tips and took up meditation. Your mind feels more like an alphabetized book shelf than it does the remnants of a library-post-explosion. You don’t even crave cupcakes anymore, but before you charge forward like a bull with abs rock-hard enough on which to cut wood, you’ve got to decide a) how you feel about being compared to a bull and b) whether abs are actually your end goal.

Here’s the thing about working out: it takes mental readiness and if you don’t arrive at a state of good will on your own, you probably won’t get there. So I won’t attempt to wax poetic on the ways in which exercising will make your life better but I will say that it will never get easier if you rely on a soulless treadmill. Or, ugh, eliptical. So consider this edition of Get Your Shit Together the baby steps that turn you into a regular Jane Fonda, spandex notwithstanding. Here are five classes you should totally try and five gifs to prove that you can take the moves with you wherever you go.

AKT

The class in a sentence: Saturday night at da club in sneakers with no alcohol but lots of girlfriends.

Celebrity trainer founder Anna Kaiser says, “AKTread is the perfect blend of cardio/strength/stretch with dance moves you will groove to, sans all the running. The program is designed to work your muscle groups on all planes of motion, while keeping your heart rate up and simultaneously performing strength moves, sometimes on the treadmill.”

An exercise you can do while waiting for the subway:

subway-dance

The Class

The class in a sentence: A 75-minute meditation in a room full of attractive TriBeCa women that encourages yelling and closed eyes to compliment the MULTIPLE MINUTE sequences of burpees. Alternative sentence: if you’re going to try only one of my class recommendations, let it be this one.

Founder Taryn Toomey says, “A completely sweat soaked full-body workout that transforms your brain as much as it lifts your ass — you don’t just get physically stronger, you get mentally stronger.”

An exercise (butt lifts!) you can do while checking nutritional facts on a Kashi box:

duane-reade-leg-press

Barre 3

The class in a sentence: Ballet minus the headache-inducing bun plus a lot of standing in constipation pose kicking your legs back and forth.

Founder Sadie Lincoln says, “A modern approach to the ballet barre workout that incorporates isometric and dynamic movement, Barre3 feels great in your body and gives you the long, lean lines everybody wants.”

An exercise (thigh lifts) you can do using your coworker’s shoulders as a bar:

barre

305 Fitness

The class in a sentence: College girls getting ready to go out while listening to Katy Perry.

“Inspired by the Miami nightlife scene, you get the ultimate underground dance party by way of a killer workout – complete with live DJ and sick light show. Classes are 55-minutes of nonstop cardio complete with dance moves, sports drills and HIIT for a total body, mind-freeing experience. The music is constantly changing, just as you feel you are completely wiped—the DJ switches the track, and you get so excited, you can’t help but dance. No dance experience required. As long as you’re willing to move your body and just roll with it, you got this.” – Sadie Kurzban, Founder/CEO, ((305)) Fitness

An exercise (jumping high knees) you can do while crossing the street:

high-knees

Soul Cycle

The class in a sentence: The glazed donut of cardio classes; the intense cycling will put you out of commission for the subsequent 12 hours.

An exercise (push ups) you can do wherever Citi Group sponsored bikes are stationed: 

bike-push-up
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  • Aydan

    Seriously these gifs are the best!! especially the supermarket!!

    https://33.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2l5csaPNz1r83ee7.gif

    • Ola

      I agree!!

  • Just started a membership at my local boxing gym last night!! Can’t wait to kick someone’s ass. JK, I almost threw up/passed out 4 times the first class. I’ll get there….

    • Quinn Halman

      omg ceej! I’ve been boxing for like 4 years after doing tae kwon do for 9. I haven’t actually fought anyone because I really don’t want to but trust you will get there

      • OK HELP A SISTA OUT

        • Quinn Halman

          EXHALE EVERY FUCKING TIME YOU HIT SOMETHING

  • Quinn Halman

    I’m just waiting for a higher intensity water aerobics movement to hit because swimming albeit a little more dangerous, is the best exercise out there. And you feel freeeeeee http://33.media.tumblr.com/7f20379d589be320b62b6b6e13e880b7/tumblr_inline_n5xwdcn6Za1rgg4k4.gif

  • Aleda Johnson

    Body Pump, Pump, Pump it up!

  • AlexaJuno

    These gifs doeeee.

  • Allie Fasanella

    i hate exercising passionately. my exercise usually consists of walking to the mailbox and typing on this computer. my fingers are in the best shape of their lives. no really i walk my dogs a lot with my mom but that’s about it as of rn. would i feel better if i was exercising? probably. but it’s just not happening at the moment. i have a feeling im gonna get really into exercising when I’m approximately 25.

    http://33.media.tumblr.com/67d330e11fca4589f7d42c562f7a9de7/tumblr_mqnuatSxPW1sp9fcho1_500.gif

    me

    • Lua Jane

      At 30 I hardly ever work out, because I hate it. I just can’t get my self to do something I hate. I tried Tibetan rites once, for my posture and to lift my energy level, but gave up after 15 days. I guess some workout rutine that doesn’t demand regularity and consistency, would do for me.

    • Sof Ia

      Allie, I felt the exact same way. Until I tried Barre classes. It is absolutely torture the first time but after a few class you’ll love it! They are low impact and low intensity.. and have changed my life.

  • Allie Fasanella

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=shpg_9bvzuE

    also this is why i dont go to the gym

  • Ola

    Seriously, this subject is a pain in the ass (or rather pain in my ass!) I’ve been strugling to find energy and will to work out for some time now. I don’t know what happened but I feel like in a big hole and I get get out of it!!! I don’t feel like working out or even eating less… Shit, shit, shit… it’s gonna end badly!@#$%^&*(

    http://lifestylebyola.blogspot.com/2015/04/hanging-out-with-beautiful-magnolias.html

    btw, I totally agree with Taryn Toomey! I’d love to attend her work out!

  • Alison

    Choosy repellers choose gif! These are the best.

  • Bow’s mom

    I go to blink for cheeeeeap and that’s a good thing because to “go” you need to actually be present at the gym.

  • Such good gifs

  • Those gifs are hysterical.

    I’ve been meaning to check out Cyc Fitness, which is about $10 cheaper than Soul Cycle since they’re inside a David Barton on Astor Place. (Which I’m still scared to enter)

    I love that The Class is performed barefoot. I constantly mention this, but it frustrates me so much that the fitness industry keeps selling the idea that we use sneakers to run and exercise, not our muscles.

    On a similar note, man these classes are expensive. Almost $40 for one 60 minute AKT class?

    • Leandra Medine

      so, i dont disagree with you which is why i gif-commend trying some of the workouts in your daily routines. also, though: taryn toomey’s the class is a 75 minute work out and costs $30 and i know its not cheap but is WORTH.EVERY.PENNY

  • Greer

    holy shit these gifs are the best

  • Dr. Ronisha Green-Castillo

    Yes! Get your lazy bones in gear, you shiftless couch potato junk food eating clunk-heads!

  • Lou

    Leandra, where’s that amazing jacket from?! So perfect for overalls. Love.

    • Leandra Medine

      The one and only Rosie Assoulin 🙂

  • Jamie Leland

    The only exercise for me is the kind that doesn’t feel like exercise. WELCOME TO THE GUN SHOW.

  • lindsfein

    JUST GO OUTSIDE! IT’S FREE! IT’S GOOD FOR YOU. IT’S NOT -10 DEGREES ANYMORE. LEAVE YOUR CAVES!

    Also July through August several public swimming pools in NYCoffer free lap swimming from 7-8:30 AM & PM.

  • Lua Jane

    I like the idea of walking as exercise. I mean you use your body, you move, you’re out in the open and it’s kind of nice. One form of exercise I don’t hate. Plus it’s generally a good feeling. If you walk a certain distance on your way to work and back you get to see things. Like bakeries goods delivery into your local deli..which means you buy a fresh pretzel :D, or flower shops opening, people taking their dog’s to poop etc. You reconnect with the world around you, while using your leg muscles for a good cause. Plus you save a cab money. It’s a win-win thing. And it’s exercise phobe friendly.

  • Cristina

    please where is your jumpsuit and shirt from?

  • zaynab

    the guy in the back ground in the shop!!!

  • GIF-tastic. Shades of Monty Python.

  • I’m all about the exercise that doesn’t feel like work. Walking to get a coffee 5km away on a Saturday? Check. Surfing, gardening, or shopping? Check. If I’m not enjoying myself there is a 105% chance that I will never incorporate something into my routine.

    …Though I do still have a gym membership to feel good about myself from time to time 😉

  • Jelena K

    I took up spinning classes about 3 months ago and it is the best cardio I’ve ever tried. I just went there, payed for the whole month and hated to see my money go to waste. I never liked exercising, but I thought I would at least make myself try. There are no complicated moves in spinning classes, which is great, because I’ve got two left feet!

    I wasn’t focused on getting results, because I guess that’s how you get disappointed and quit after a couple of weeks. After 3 months I feel (and look) much better and most importantly, I am guilt-free about not caring for my own body. Now I’m hooked and I can’t stop 🙂

  • I laughed so hard with these gifs! They are hilarious!

    I spent a long time until I feel ready to start working out, but it feels cool, it’s part of my life!

    Best Regards,

    Angelina – http://www.just-angelina.com/

  • Andrea Loh

    I used to do ballet but 1 hour of Barre and just focusing on all the muscle groups on the legs – I COULDN’T EVEN WALK DOWN THE STAIRS FROM MY GYM. And that is when, that Barre class was the first and the last I ever did!

  • EPD

    thanks for posting such affordable gym class options! NOT

  • Lovetorun

    Funny

  • beaker

    Ahahaha! And it’s impossible to look weird in nyc, so you’re golden

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