Extrapolating Important Moments at The VMAs

This is what I looked like during Miley's performance.

…And combining them. First, there was Lady Gaga, whose face was seemingly coming out of an enormous block of white cheese during her performance though I’d understand if she were meant to look like some radical version of a nun.

Then, there was Miley Cyrus, who took the term ‘teddy punk’ way too seriously and wore a salacious teddy bear on her stomach, and not much else.

Or so we thought until she removed the silver jump/bathing suit to reveal a pair of beige, patent leather underwear and a matching bra. Now at this point, she’d already been ass humping up a storm and though her index finger had found its way to her crotch several times, we gave her benefit of the doubt–maybe she’s trying to draw attention to a new tattoo near her crotch? Or maybe she’s got a frontal wedgie to pick?

It was when her huge-ass styofoam index finger left absolutely no insinuations to the imagination that we married Lady Gaga’s to the events of Cyrus’ performance and declared: this is exactly how we left as we watched her.

Thoughts?