Social Media Shirt
No matter how vast your wardrobe or how much you insist otherwise, it appears as though this shirt is the only shirt you own.
It tends to be a top (as opposed to shorts) due to the cropped nature of social media and the general understanding that most people wear the same jeans at least 200 days out of the year. This isn’t to say that shoes, embellished jackets, dresses and the like absorb the same stigma, but there’s something about the damn shirt that makes it an easy target.
In truth, it may very well be one of the only shirts you wear — otherwise, how the eff do you keep getting shot in it? Twice is life, three time’s a coincidence and four times begs the question: just how often does she do laundry?
Scientists believed the social media shirt was eradicated once the popularity of Facebook wore off. Back in its heyday, Facebook was a platform that readily loaned itself to an abundance of pictures. (Think: every single time you and your friends did anything.) It made sense that you’d be frequently photographed in the same outfit. Regardless, women became scrupulous about removing any tags that would betray their repetition.
Meanwhile, Instagram in its earliest form was used with prudence. The average user did not post weekly, let alone daily. Because it’s now common to post 3 times a week at a minimum (especially during the summer, because #picsorthepartysucked) it’s far easier to get — and I will keep using this word because it’s so damn applicable — caught.
To use in a sentence:
Floospie: Damn girl, are you a cartoon character? Because I always see you online in that same striped shirt.
Pickledickle: Floopsie, are trying out more of your bad pickup lines on me?
Floopsie: No, idiot. I’m asking for real. You’re literally not figuratively always in that shirt on Instagram. Everyone’s talking about it. They think you’re a hologram from Doug or Pepper Ann.
Pickledickle: Ah, yes. My social media shirt. I have about 10 more where this came from, but for some reason, the photo popo always manages to catch me riding dirty.