Relationship Clothes

[re-lay-shun-ship·klose]
Man-Repeller-Dickshunary-Relationship-Clothes---9
Stuff you can only wear if you have a partner because it takes more than two hands to get on.

Buttons, zippers, clasps — they’re all enemies to the girl who lives alone. Unless, that is, she is so profoundly ambidextrous she actually has three hands. Most of us, though, don’t fall into that camp (though some of us have pretty agile and strategic teeth) and when we’re left buttoning up the back of a Victorian blouse that has clearly never paid much attention to the wonderfully modern invention of zippers, you have no choice but to remember that you are all alone.

 

Additional examples include:

1. Dresses with built in bodices

2. Bracelets with thief-proof clasps

3. Tall boots, which include those above and below the knee

4. Art-that-doubles-as-fashion — meaning coats with tight arm holes that require ribbon tying, or tight pants that look like spray paint and require an army of muscles for removal

5. Almost anything branded Rosie Assoulin, which tend include buttons, zippers and clasps

 

All of this is not to say think before you shop but it is to remind you that if your clothes make you feel especially single, I am just a phone call away.

REPLIES
  • i am definitely not ambidextrous, but i do have three right hands. which is good, because my man repelling lately is SUPER EFFECTIVE.

  • Aydan

    Nothing makes you more aware that you’re living alone as trying to zip up a dress before work….post-workout workout commence!

  • Hahha! What a fun post. I have been lucky living with the sister and then the husband!

    http://www.fashionandfrappes.com

  • defggghh

    < I see what you mean… Sylvia `s bl0g is unbelievable, last monday I bought a brand new Alfa Romeo since I been making usd 6397 this-past/five weeks and-in excess of, ten/k last-m0nth . this is definitely the easiest-work Ive ever done . I started this 6 months ago and right away startad bringin h0me over usd 76… per/hr . Learn More .

    ►►►►► Now Keep Reading

    ————————————————

  • …or if you have flatmates who are willing to crawl out of their Netflix / junk food cave and come help button you up 😉

    http://www.bisousnatasha.com

  • chibi

    I feel like button back dresses were way more common in the 80s, and then we wised up. Or am I just not finding the current-day button back dresses?

  • I initially thought this would have an alternative definition! Relationship clothes: the items that make up you and your SO’s communal wardrobe, swapped back and forth between the two of you until it’s impossible to remember who they belonged to first. Or, relationship clothes: the clothes you steal from your SO that make up a hefty part of your own wardrobe. May not be returned in event of breakup.

    amyrosewakeham.wordpress.com

  • Jenn Walls

    I have a rule regarding this and I can finally share it! If I try any of the above on and can’t get it on by myself (no Mom, I do NOT want your help, please get out of the fitting room), I don’t buy it. Simple as that. What’s the point in having a lovely dress if you have to break into a sweat trying to zip it up by yourself?

  • I have MASTERED this. I live alone and have an abundance of clothing with back closure. I get more and more flexible the longer I live alone. I just made myself sad.