So many things are wrong with this picture.
On the one hand, I am pretty sure that this turtleneck could have been from the Gap, which would have been fine, back when people all over the world were still joining hands to start a love train as requested by that viral commercial.
Conversely, though, it could have also been Courréges and used as under arming ski clothes on top of the Swiss Alps.
All of them.
So, never mind that.
On another hand, I get that we are trying to make turtlenecks happen again, but in the case of neck concealment, I’m going to say that slow and steady definitely wins this race. We should be starting with grey and black and muted, stupid colors that make us look more like drama club participants rather than skiers. But then again, Nora Ephron would have totally grabbed these ribs by the seam had it been around to festoon the cover of her I Feel Bad About My Neck.
Finally, though, it’s not even cashmere. It’s wool. So, self, what gives? Why the ass can’t I stop thinking about a plain, pale blue, ribbed turtleneck sweater? If I’m being honest myself, which I am, I don’t think it matters that it’s Stella McCartney. I think I’m just propelling my life way too far forward and assuming the position of a role I will never ever factually take on as a soccer mom. $890 to role play is starting to look like a deal when considering how expensive mini vans, children and athletic equipment can be.