The Nakeds Next Door

steven-webster-nytimes

So there I was after a shower on a fine Saturday morning, just chilling and checking emails or whatever it is that one does post-shower and pre-clothes, when I suddenly heard what appeared to be a stampede of rhinoceroses? — rhinoceri? — galloping up my fire escape.

In an attempt to not be an accidental one-woman-peep-show I rolled myself off the bed and hid, crouching on all fours behind a pile of laundry. Once the coast sounded safe I stood up. That was a close one. But instead I found myself face to face with a straggler who clearly couldn’t run up stairs as fast as his loud counterparts.

I’ve since invested in curtains.

The New York Times published a hilarious chronicle of various naked encounters that seem all too common in a city where it’s assumed everyone is too concerned in their own lives to notice an unclothed person in their midst — but they notice alright. The stories range from the casual “naked guy” across the window of a corporate office, to a family who dines in the nude. “The husband was grilling naked,” wrote one of the interviewees. “That’s a little dangerous.” Indeed.

Either New York houses a bunch of exhibitionists or, like, me, just a lot of people who forget about the accessibility of the fire escape…and a robe, I suppose.

Do you have a naked story? You know we have to hear it.

[The Nakeds Next Door via The New York Times]

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Thoughts?
  • White Girl Tara

    Does every member of my family entering my room without knocking post-shower/pre-clothing count?

    • Amelia Diamond

      IT IS LIKE CLOCKWORK.

    • Patss H.Espejo

      True fact!!

  • Quinn Halman

    I can’t be the only one who thought of this right away.

  • https://www.etsy.com/shop/amatoriaclothing Amatoria Clothing

    I don’t walk around naked, but I do have a tendency to lounge in a towel or just underwear after a shower… I seriously hate pants. Though I have been more careful about walking around pantless near my dog since the time he licked my butt cheek. Is that considered rape?

  • mal$

    I belonged to a dance studio from the ages of 5-17, due to changing costumes frequently in front of others at recitals, being naked in front of other people I know really doesn’t bother me. After a shower, I am always nude en-route to my closet and my husband running after to close the curtains so the neighbors don’t see.

  • Marcia

    I live in Phoenix in a 3d floor apartment where the living room window opens towards one palm tree, and sky. One day I walked out of the shower innocently and glanced over to see a guy in the palm tree, trimming the branches, five feet away. I did the “drop and roll” and have since learned to shut my blinds.

  • Jen Welton

    My roommate and I had our first naked encounter experience since moving to NYC in August. We were having a casual conversation in the kitchen when my roommates face froze as she glared out the window. This is the first time we saw naked lady who showers directly across from us in a not-so-foggy glass shower window. She must know, and she surely doesn’t care! I’m sure we will see her again.

  • Thamsa

    When my brother and I were younger, the neighbours of our babysitter used to go about their day naked. The parents and the kids. They’d go in the backyard naked too. If ever a toy or ball was tossed over the fence, we never bothered to retrieve them lol.

  • Angelia

    If the Equinox on 74th St is any indication, NYC women are very comfortable being naked in front of strangers; at least those of the opposite sex. I have been in a lot of gyms in a lot of cities, and this by far is the most “free balling”. Perhaps there’s a growing number of women in this city who are very confident in their bodies – or maybe just used to the prying eye of a nosy neighbor.