Hey. I was just going to ask how your holiday has been going and then maybe tell you about the plentiful nothing-but-reading-and-picking-my-eyebrows-and-eating-cupcakes that I’ve done with mine but I feel discouraged now. Just as I was getting ready to put this post in queue, BuzzFeed showed me how 750 other people spent the thick of their holidays in Tweksbury, Massachusetts. It was then that I figured it’d probably be best if I kept my inquiries and feckless confessions to myself. Why?
The woman showed up at a local Walmart and hugged babies and spoke — not sang — into the megaphone (fine, she more accurately read a pretty layman sentence off a piece of paper into a megaphone) that usually only tells of price checks and clean ups, most typically in aisle 9, and informed everyone at the Walmart in which she stood that the first $50 of each and every one of their purchases were on her. Gratis! On da Yoncé!
When she sang she can be your halo, she really, really meant it.