Spandex Shorts: The Unsung Heroes of Summer Dressing

by Charlotte Fassler
July 11, 2014
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Spandex-shorts-editorial“Summer breeze, makes me feel fine/blowing through the jasmine in my mind” crooned Seals & Croft in their 1970′s classic. Though, in unpacking the lyric “jasmine in my mind,” they most likely meant, “blowing up my skirt while I whine.”

Sure, I like a good summer breeze as much as the next pair of thighs begging for a reprieve from the heat, but fussily tugging at your skirt or dress gets old fast. I’m a huge proponent of the more underwear-safe midi length and the cartwheel-proof skort, but sometimes I’m in the mood for a short, light-weight flimsy dress. And you know what? I don’t think it’s too much to ask that I have my cake and not flash a stranger in the meantime.

After more than a few unfortunate breezy subway incidents, however, I remembered the magic words: Spandex Shorts.

Spandex shorts will have your back and your ass all summer long. Here’s why:

- You can sit on the subway without panicking about that inevitable moment of peeling your sticky buns off the bench when your stop approaches.

- You can sit on the subway without panicking, in general.

- You can plop down in the park without getting park on your ass. (Same goes for park benches.)

- You are halfway changed for an impromptu workout.

- Your period will stain your shorts before your dress.

And if you’re thinking, what about static? Get some static guard. I’ve got you covered, and so will your shorts.

Image Courtesy of Vogue.com, Dior Spring 2013

REPLIES
  • http://www.itscarmen.com ≈ CARMEN ≈

    We can wear it under our clothes, yes. I think we should just rock the Spandex shorts. I’d love to pretend I’m working out, when really I’m just lazy & want to be comfy. . :] // itsCarmen.com ☼

    • aliceeve46

      before I saw the check which was of $5658 , I be certain that my friend could actualey bringing home money in there spare time at there computar. . there friends cousin haz done this 4 only 10 months and just paid the morgage on their place and bought Mitsubishi Evo . pop over here

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  • Dee

    I had to run into Forever 21 to get a pair of booty work out shorts after my light and breezy silk dress proceeded to fly up in front of all of Union Square one morning this week. Yea. That was fun.

    • http://instagram.com/funshine_sky bunnygrrrl3000

      one time at niagra falls my skirt flew up and got stuck on my butt shelf…. saddest day

  • Charlotte

    Wearing them as we speak

  • Emilia Petrarca

    I’ve avoided flashing most of NYC on my CitiBike thanks to spandex shorts.

  • http://dfcghbnkmm.com AnnCates

    Finally! I swear only people who played sports knew about this trick. It’s nice to know that all girls know this secret.
    Rejoice for we don’t have no worry about flashing people!

    Much Love, AnnCates xx
    anncates.blogspot.com

    • Charlotte Fassler

      To be fair my ownership of spandex shorts came from my volleyball days, but I feel other non-athletes have slowly caught on as well!

      • http://dfcghbnkmm.com AnnCates

        The same applies to me! After volleyball I always wore spandex under skirts and dresses

  • B.

    Because my ass is currently clad in spandex shorts under my short flowy dress, I feel you on a spiritual level, girl. **emoji praise hands

    xB

    http://www.brittiish.blogspot.com

  • Amelia Diamond

    Spandex shorts under my school’s uniform skirt = my life from 1st through 8th grade and then, because of that, I have never felt comfortable in a skirt without them.

    • ZORAbyZoeRamos

      Exactly! As a Catholic school girl, I would be lost without them underneath my 100% polyester purple/red plaid kilt (which may or not be ugliest garment in the world).

    • Nekromanteion

      I was always naked underneath mine.

  • Lauren Ann Long

    Sometimes wear them alone as shorts, thus bringing up the discussion can leggings be pants..can spandex be shorts?

    • pamb

      IMO… if your shirt covers your butt, all is good. I only object to leggings as pants/bike shorts as shorts if if looks like you’re going to work out (which I think people do when wearing a short t shirt. Again, IMO ;)

    • Charlotte Fassler

      When it’s really hot in the summer sometimes I wear them with a big shirt and say WHATEVER

  • http://behindthemirrorbeauty.com/ Behind the Mirror

    This is such a great tip and I can’t believe I never thought it. I walked around letting the wind blow my skirt up all last week like an idiot… and the worst part is I have biker shorts at home ready to fix this disaster, LOL. Thanks!!!

  • Dominique
  • jenn

    I’ve never found the right pair that didn’t give me camel toe (now that I think about it, they were probably too small…) so I ended up buying bloomers from American Apparel. They’re not sexy so that wards off some peeping toms when a breeze attacks.

  • natalie riachi
  • http://www.thecrushworthy.com The Crushworthy

    This is genius! Light airy dresses + random gusts of wind make me opt for pants or shorts most of the time, but I’ll definitely consider this if I can find the right pair. Thanks for posting!

  • pamb

    I have a tween daughter who wears spandex booty shorts under all the party dresses she wears to Bar/Bat Mitzvahs. She doesn’t worry about flashing the crowd, and thus more comfortable to run around and have fun! Recommended for all ages!

  • Alex

    Thanks for suggestions on covering my ass, but why did you censor my question on “ASK ME ANYTHING” about how you keep all your stuff secure on vacant homes? lol I thought I might at least get no reply, or by any chance a humorous reply, but no. My comment was just deleted.

    • Amelia Diamond

      Disqus sometimes marks comments as pending — ask it here!

  • http://tallboysapparel.com/ Tallboys Apparel

    They are really so much nice and attractive style. It is a matter of attractive fashion and so on. For more details http://www.tallboysapparel.com/

  • http://themochileradiaries.com Leah Kate

    I hate it when I get park on my ass!

  • Ajnira Muminovic

    SPAAANDEX IS BACK !!
    Oh I wish u gave us more of that shorts/inspo I love it!

    majnira.com

  • Hermy

    Although i’ve never really considered them fashionable, my mom has always taught me to wear a pair of spandex shorts under my dress, so I know the value.

  • http://www.niceandcleanfulham.co.uk/ heather gilmour

    Great tip, I’ve never thought about that before.

    Carpet cleaning Islington

  • Tracy

    I never wore them under my clothes, after this post I’ll surely try it!

    http://fashion-soup.com/

  • http://alcessa.wordpress.com/ alcessa

    I wear something similar, too, the thing called shapewear, in form of shorts, I don’t know much about spandex but I think my polyamid shorts could be thinner and airier :-).
    I am also a happy owner of formal (looking) pants which I like a lot so when the winter’s too cold and I yearn to wear my trousers, I put on the shorts to keep me warm and … well-shaped? :-)

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