“Summer breeze, makes me feel fine/blowing through the jasmine in my mind” crooned Seals & Croft in their 1970′s classic. Though, in unpacking the lyric “jasmine in my mind,” they most likely meant, “blowing up my skirt while I whine.”
Sure, I like a good summer breeze as much as the next pair of thighs begging for a reprieve from the heat, but fussily tugging at your skirt or dress gets old fast. I’m a huge proponent of the more underwear-safe midi length and the cartwheel-proof skort, but sometimes I’m in the mood for a short, light-weight flimsy dress. And you know what? I don’t think it’s too much to ask that I have my cake and not flash a stranger in the meantime.
After more than a few unfortunate breezy subway incidents, however, I remembered the magic words: Spandex Shorts.
Spandex shorts will have your back and your ass all summer long. Here’s why:
- You can sit on the subway without panicking about that inevitable moment of peeling your sticky buns off the bench when your stop approaches.
- You can sit on the subway without panicking, in general.
- You can plop down in the park without getting park on your ass. (Same goes for park benches.)
- You are halfway changed for an impromptu workout.
- Your period will stain your shorts before your dress.
And if you’re thinking, what about static? Get some static guard. I’ve got you covered, and so will your shorts.
Dior Spring 2013, Image via Vogue