Pick Me Up, Before You Go Go
4:30 PM on a Monday is really a fantastic and fun place to be when you over-served yourself around 5:30 PM on a Saturday and didn’t let that stop you from doing the damn thing until dinner time on Sunday. It’s a headspace that feels like a salted slug on the power tumble cycle of a washing machine, and while you’re too freakend-ed out to work-work, you also don’t want to be alone with your thoughts.
You’d like to appear productive (staring at a computer screen with a furrowed brow while your eyes dart from left to right as though reading a very important document is a great guise) and yet, you can’t actually be productive. It’s just not possible. But you can listen to a song, can’t you? Come on big guy. This won’t be so bad.
The Chainsmokers — known for their jazzy hit “Selfie” — have capitalized on yet another buzzzzword: Kanye. Speaking of noises that bees make, Buzzfeed has the exclusive until tomorrow, so I guess that means you’re allowed to leave us for a few seconds to listen here.
But please come back, because you should also watch this awesome, empowering, stereotype crushing and gravity defying ad for Coach Taylor’s sportswear of choice, Under Armour:
Still need one more activity before finishing that spreadsheet? Same. Cosmo made a pretty funny guide of 50 “unretouched sex positions for real [heterosexual] people.” It includes Donald Ducking, Starfishing, and your standard Mall-Photo Missionary.
Hopefully that holds you over until the afternoon Advil kicks in.