Net-a-Sporter

by Amelia Diamond
July 10, 2014
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Sometimes I get really mad at Net-a-Porter. It’s not the website’s fault that I have online-window shopping issues, but it sort of is NAP’s fault for color-coding their merchandise like all of those bookshelves on Pinterest. This causes me to fall into a scrolling stupor for at least an hour while hovering my arrow over shoes I want and dresses I need and candles that I already own two of…but could use one more.

Well guess what they’ve gone and done now? (Said in stern mom-voice.)

They added a sports section.

“Amelia,” you are probably rushing to the comments section to type to me, “you, like Amber from Clueless, do not participate in sports where balls fly at your nose.” This is true. My number one most hated word in the English language is “CATCH!,” and I was kicked off the girl’s volley ball team in 2nd grade even though my best friend’s dad was the coach.

But I do know my way around a barn aisle. I’m not a pro at yoga, but I practice it (not to brag but my savasana is something to be seen), and even though I complain about it, I do exercise-related things on a bar. I don’t play tennis “by the rules” but I like the outfits, and as for surfing I once took a few lessons and didn’t die!

All of which is to say that now, in addition to not doing work because I need to see what new “summer must-haves” I don’t have (but might need), I’m going to be thinking about how I should probably take actual tennis lessons so I have an excuse to get this dress. Or, how I should really start working again on my vinyasa flow. For these. This pair of actual ballet shoes is already making me want to go do rond de jambes in the street a la Mary Helen Bowers, and even though I have this shirt, I’m getting two more. (Great under sweaters and the horses love it.)

So thanks a lot, Net-a-Porter, for all my emails that are about to go unanswered and for my dinner comprised solely of stolen street nuts. It’s not your fault that I’m mad…but it also kind of is.

REPLIES
  • Aubrey Green

    I always validate wanting to purchase something for those just in case moments when someone invites me to a party…

  • http://breachofbeauty.blogspot.com Sarah Elise

    Yooo I was kicked off my softball team in first grade because APPARENTLY looking for four leaf clovers amidst the grass in the outfield during a game is not okay after 5 consecutive times. WHATEVER. I’m wasn’t upset about being kicked off, but I was emotionally wrecked because I hadn’t even found a single 4-leafer yet. I still think I had my priorities straight. Luck > sportz

    • http://instagram.com/funshine_sky bunnygrrrl3000

      As the girl who picked dandelions during her little league soccer games, I FEEL YA. Also, my dad was the coach >_<

  • JimmyFooIsMyBitch

    AH SHIT! DAMNIT! Now you got me hooked too! FUDGE. But it’s only fair if I get you hooked in return, WithoutWalls & FreePeople – Movement. :) Heh, you’re welcome.

  • JimmyFooIsMyBitch

    OK THANKS… now I know what you were referencing in the tweet link! NOW I NEED THOSE DAMN SLIPPERS TOO!

  • isida
  • Dominique
  • Lace Up Style

    Love this! Check out LaceUpStyle.com – we’re obsessed with fitness + fashion…but we also eat donuts.

  • dk

    I had to google “savasana”.. and then I laughed for five minutes straight. Thank You!

  • http://www.facebook.com/VoiceUpSlovenia swissinslovenia

    Oh that reminds me of those gorgeous ariat riding boots I bought back in 1998 when I was living in the US… Have been wearing them till last year, when the zipper broke and I had to part with them. Weeping.

  • http://lafatadimoda.wordpress.com/ Jasmin Krapp

    I also love my tennis dress that I wear to when I am NOT playing tennis haha. I also plan on having a post on my fashion blog http://lafatadimoda.wordpress.com/ about wearing sportswear to non sporting events

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