Sometimes I get really mad at Net-a-Porter. It’s not the website’s fault that I have online-window shopping issues, but it sort of is NAP’s fault for color-coding their merchandise like all of those bookshelves on Pinterest. This causes me to fall into a scrolling stupor for at least an hour while hovering my arrow over shoes I want and dresses I need and candles that I already own two of…but could use one more.
Well guess what they’ve gone and done now? (Said in stern mom-voice.)
They added a sports section.
“Amelia,” you are probably rushing to the comments section to type to me, “you, like Amber from Clueless, do not participate in sports where balls fly at your nose.” This is true. My number one most hated word in the English language is “CATCH!,” and I was kicked off the girl’s volley ball team in 2nd grade even though my best friend’s dad was the coach.
But I do know my way around a barn aisle. I’m not a pro at yoga, but I practice it (not to brag but my savasana is something to be seen), and even though I complain about it, I do exercise-related things on a bar. I don’t play tennis “by the rules” but I like the outfits, and as for surfing I once took a few lessons and didn’t die!
All of which is to say that now, in addition to not doing work because I need to see what new “summer must-haves” I don’t have (but might need), I’m going to be thinking about how I should probably take actual tennis lessons so I have an excuse to get this dress. Or, how I should really start working again on my vinyasa flow. For these. This pair of actual ballet shoes is already making me want to go do rond de jambes in the street a la Mary Helen Bowers, and even though I have this shirt, I’m getting two more. (Great under sweaters and the horses love it.)
So thanks a lot, Net-a-Porter, for all my emails that are about to go unanswered and for my dinner comprised solely of stolen street nuts. It’s not your fault that I’m mad…but it also kind of is.