It’s July 1st, Baby!
Some things you may not know about July 1st:
On this day in 1984 The Motion Pictures Association of America instituted the PG-13 rating, making it possible for Bar Mitzvahed men and hormonal girls to see movies like The Ring at their behests.
It is also the day that Sony introduced The Walkman in 1979, unwittingly proving that The Next Big Thing is now devastatingly obsolete.
It happens to moonlight as Lea Séydoux’s birthday, as well, who was born on this day in 1985, unwittingly proving that The Next Big Thing, when it is human, only becomes Bigger with age.
Some things you may know about July 1st:
And as a direct result of clause #1, it is the best month ever as far as The Northern Hemisphere is concerned.
It is also the 182nd day (which happens to be my lucky number!) of the year as mandated by the Gregorian Calendar. (A non sequitur/note on mandates: you should title your first memoir, the no men to date mandate.)
And it is three days shy of The Best Weekend Ever (no matter where you are, really).
But the most relatable property tethered to July 1st is a state of mind we have universally adopted about the unofficial, vaguely tardy true beginning of summer. Today is the day that pants come off, which incidentally coincides nicely with yesterday’s story on shorts. Though you may not have been ready to pull out the proverbial scissors then, I’ll bet a diaper you’re feeling kind of ready today.
If not because you’ve let the weird outfits marinate and allow for your fabric confidence to trump your undue insecurity then at very least because it’s hot and you’re going to a vegan BBQ later this week and dammit, you need some cool thigh agents to show for your attendance. Look no further than, like, an inch below eye level, marvel in the beauty that is sale season and think to yourself, Self, how did a junior varsity dissertation on the history of July 1st become a ploy to get me to buy shorts?
I don’t know either but I’m glad we’re here.