Hurry Up With My Damn Croissants

August 30, 2013

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When our ears first heard the musical stylings of Kanye West’s latest album Yeezus, one stanza of what some may refer to as lyrical genius struck us… and apparently it struck the French Baker’s Association as well.

In this open letter to M. West, Bernard Aydelotte tears into West’s now viral proclamation:

In a French ass restaurant
Hurry up with my damn croissants
I am a god

The association is not upset that M. West has declared himself as a God rather the organization’s indignation spans from Yeezy’s careless dismissal of the artisanal practice of croissant making.  Sounds pretty French, eh?

One highlight of the letter amongst many (they congratulate West on the birth of his daughter ‘Nord’!) is this excerpt:

“For us mere mortals, we must wait the time required for the croissant to come to perfect fruition, but as a deity, you can surely alter the bread’s molecular structure faster than the speed of light, no? And with your omniscience, perhaps you have something to teach us about the perfect croissant. We await your guidance and insights.”

Who knew the French Bakers Association were comedians in addition to craftsmen?

Charlotte Fassler

[Read: An Open Letter to Kanye West from the Association of French Bakers via The Eargazm]

  • Bridget

    I love this sooo much

  • Jazmine Amber G

    This is ridiculous! Perfect thing to read during a slow day at the office. Now I’m craving a croissant maybe Yeezus will make one appear on my desk. Amen??

  • Cowabunga

    Ha! Thank you MR. Please repost that picture of two eggs over Yeezy. It makes my day.

  • Lisa

    One day I will buy that beige Chanel make up.

  • Della

    Damn fine column. This guy is ridiculus!

  • Michele Hanash

    I hope the Association of International Bread Toasters doesn’t let that slide.