Dear K-Tuna, can I call you K-Tuna?,
How cool is it that you are 41 today? It must feel phenomenal to age so gracefully in tandem with your having racked up such important accolades as a near-decade on SNL, the ability to call yourself a director and a screenwriter and a producer and an actress with the conviction your multifarious dexterities have provided you, the existence of Bridesmaids at large and, of course, all those Emmys. I’d ask what you have planned next but this isn’t a minor cogitation.
Frankly, we just wanted to wish you a really happy birthday from the bottom of our deep blue hearts. In celebration of your life’s anniversary, we’ve made the executive decision not to give you a gift (hope you don’t mind!), but instead, in a sheer act of altruistic selflessness, to give ourselves, in the better interest of human kind, the gift of, well, you. We’re constantly in pursuit of a respite from the current affairs of the world we occupy so, we plan to spend today marveling in your multitudinal alter egos.
Of course, we will narrate as we go, starting now:
The time you were late to meet Seth was so cool. Even cooler, though, was that other time, when Garth aka the artist formerly known as Lawrence Welk who, previous to that, was called Fred Armisen had you on his show and you sang, with great aplomb, the importance of self-reliance.
And then, of course, there was that time at driving school, when Bill Hader as a hoodrat tried to show you up. That was stupid but you handled yourself with beauty and with grace. I would never second guess your postulating that an entire ocean resides in your bathroom.
I’d also like to take this opportunity to thank you for moonlighting as a human navigation system. I took Robertson that time you told me to and it saved me like, 38 seconds! 38 seconds that could have changed everything.
Like, for example, my watching your pursuit of the omnipresent silver lining that is an upside. Building muscle mass is a huge point of victory in the wake of having had eight inches of hair chopped off. You’re as wise as I am stoic.
Most of all, though, I do feel like I owe you an apology. I know how much you like surprises.
In that way, I feel like I have failed you. Happy birthday anyway, love you. Call me.
Oh! And the rest of you — favorite Kristen Wiig moments? Go!
Image via V Magazine shot by Terry Richardson