Today you belong to one of two tribes: those who know that Rag & Bone showed a fantastic traffic cone orange parka at 8 p.m. last night, and those who watched the Grammys instead of NYFW. Should you fall in the former category, stop the frantic back-scrolling on Twitter; cease the fruitless Instagram cram session. You can have your runway collections and eat your award shows, too, thanks to this breakfast of bullet points from last night’s big musical event. Maple syrup topping optional.
Forget the backstage preparations. Move past the celebrity primping. The only thing worth watching before the cameras officially began to roll was Justin Bieber and James Corden’s reunion for a pre-Grammy round of carpool karaoke. Male moisturizing and “Uptown Funk” were involved.
The Meme Carpet
1. Taylor Swift arrived in a Versace Atelier tangerine bandeau, pink underwear cape (both of which the Internet is comparing to Larisa Oleynik’s 10 Things I Hate About You prom dress) and an Anna Wintour bob. She posed for a lot of pictures with Selena Gomez (in navy blue as-of-yet-memed-dress by Calvin Klein Collection).
Other notable Grammy’s fashion memes: Justin Bieber as an Olive Garden waiter (kind of funny), Ariana Grande in a red carpet (the dress was literally just red) and Sam Hunt as the Pink Panther.
2. Also meme’d (she was compared to the Magic School Bus’s Miss Frizzle) was Lady Gaga, who went full-on performance art with her ensemble and dressed in David Bowie-inspired garb: 10 inch platforms, Ziggy Stardust hair and what can best be described as a long, sequined wizard-robe-blazer-gown. What you can’t see: her tattoo of the late rock legend that she recently had inked a few days ago.
3. Off the meme carpet: Florence Welch wore Gucci and therefore wins everything.
The Live Performances
Although Rihanna cancelled unexpectedly on account of bronchitis — part of a trend of last minute no-shows that also included Lauryn Hill and Nicki Minaj — the rest of the performers went strong. (The show must go on!)
Highlights include an acoustic set by Grammy newbie The Weeknd, a live-from-NY performance by the cast of Hamilton and, right after snagging best rap album, Kendrick Lamar’s powerful, politically-minded medley, performed in chains.
Also important: the beyond-happy, feel-good Lionel Richie homage, the way Adele handled on-stage audio issues with nothing but grace, Lady Gaga’s dazzling Bowie tribute performance and the soulful power vocals of rising star Andra Day alongside Ellie Goulding’s “Love Me Like You Do” and “Rise Up.” If you thought you loved these songs before, give this video a watch — things are about to get infinity times better.
LOLs Stevie Wonder, most charming man on the planet, relished in that fact that the winning card he held for of Song of the Year (which was, FYI, Ed Sheeran’s “Thinking Out Loud”) was written in braille and therefore only he could read it.
After abject fear that it wouldn’t happen, Beyoncé made a grand entrance right before the end of the show in a sheer white dress. She didn’t perform but she’s probably like, guys, chill, I just did the Super Bowl. Kanye didn’t perform either but he did participate with frequent tweets throughout the show, mainly filled with 140 word plugs for Tidal. Word on the street is that Bey is exclusively releasing her new album there, too, so you may want to bring this up if the water cooler talk today turns to some some obscure on-camera reference you missed last night.
And if that doesn’t get the job done, just bring up the Yeezy presentation — works every time.