You know the drill. Cinco de Mayo comes around and it’s out with the boater hats, in with the sombreros. Gone are the afternoons of benign liquid and for one day only, it seems like the entire American population is trying their hand at the tequila diet. Sometimes it’s offensive, other times it’s funnier than “butt farmers” (this is a term Amelia just made up which I have understood to refer anyone who is capable of harvesting using his or her anus) but there is only one definitive property that unites the American celebrators.
And that is ignorance.
I spent the greater portion of this morning asking passersby if they planned to celebrate Cinco de Mayo. 7 out of 10 people said yes. And while the other three said no, the entire group agreed that while knew it was Mexican-rooted, they weren’t quite sure about its historical significance. To be honest, I didn’t know much either, other than that I’ve heard the term the Battle of Puebla, (which I also know noting about,) thrown around in conjunction with May 5th.
Wikipedia mitigated my ignorance and now I know that’s not all fun and tequila.
If you intend to celebrate, why don’t you impress your drunk friends by sharing these five facts about the holiday staring us dead in the eye.
1. It is a celebration of Mexican heritage and pride.
2. We are celebrating Mexican heritage and pride because in 1862, in the state of Puebla, Mexico beat France’s ass in The Battle of Puebla.
3. This is not Mexico’s independence day. That happens on September 16th.
4. Americans started celebrating Cinco de Mayo in regions that maintained high concentrations of Mexican immigrants. In 2005, the U.S. Congress issued a Concurrent Resolutioncalling on the President of the United States to issue a proclamation calling upon the people of the United States to observe Cinco de Mayo with appropriate ceremonies and activities.
4a. I copy and pasted that last sentence from Wikipedia. I’m not proud of it but I’m also not a liar.
5. On that note, Americans view the holiday as theirs. A holiday that commemorates Latin life in the United States during the first world war.
Are you drunk yet?