Conference Calls IRL

by Amelia Diamond
January 28, 2014
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They say the only two things certain in life are death and taxes. I’d like to add a third: conference calls, and an addendum: they will be awkward.

It’s inevitable. Even if you have the least corporate job in the world, I guarantee that at some point in your existence you will be faced with a phone call that requires you to dial in, add some sort of pin, and then spend the rest of the conversation in the verbal equivalent of street chicken where you and another person will engage in the awful, interrupted staccato of “I’m sorry. You go ahead.” “No you.” “No please you.” Rinse, repeat, scream.

You can guarantee that someone will lose connection, someone will accidentally be on mute, and someone will spend the whole time unable to connect at all.

The upside to a conference call? You can technically do the whole thing sans pants.

[What if the Annoyances of Conference Calls Happened in Real Life Meetings via Twenty Two Words]

REPLIES
  • The Uppity Puppy

    This is so on!!! As The Uppity Puppy, we were skeptical of whether it would be accurate enough include the token chorus of barking dogs … annnd NAILED IT!

  • Morgan

    Ha! This is spot on. My favorite is the person whose volume is on WAY too high and it sounds like they are yelling in your ear. Or the person you can hardly hear. Or the person who forgot they were on speaker phone and basically had a conversation with someone else during the call.