Baby, it’s cold outside.
But not that cold so forget about your ears for a moment, would you, they’re going to be fine. Instead why don’t you think about your eyes. Think about your eyes and why masking them with a outward, wool baseball brim might be a good idea on this sunny Tuesday.
Can’t think of a good enough reason? Well, as my dad used to say when I told him I was bored, your mind is just being lazy. The most salient reason to hop on the Rodriguez (he’s a famous baseball player, right?) train comes care of the connoisseurs of cool at J. Crew, which has been stamped with the approval of arguably cooler connoisseurship (I said arguably!) by Net-a-Porter.
With me now? Good.
Because there’s more. THERE ARE CRYSTALS! That means you’ll be wearing a crown, actually, if we’re going to get technical, a tiara. This makes you the most inconspicuous super-sweet-sixteen-er (come on, you kind of want to be one of her, don’t you?) that ever was, because said tiara masquerades itself as an incredibly utilitarian head-covering that could have belonged to your uncle back when he was still doing Broadway. No one will know your motivation but everyone will clap. They’ll just…clap.