Before we begin, here’s an easy question: Do you know how to spell kindergarten? Because this girl doesn’t. Who knew there was a “T”? Not I. Clearly, New York City’s educational standards have improved since I passed through the system because even getting into kindergarten is a challenge these days. A new test for kindergartners applying to elite private schools has just been released and it’s really, really fucking hard. If you don’t believe me, you can try it yourself, smarty pants.
The test is called Admission Assessment for Beginning Learners (AABL) and it will be administered to 4-year-olds on iPads to test their math and literacy skills. And iPad skills. Don’t their sticky fingers mess up iPad screens? Horace Mann and Riverdale Country School are the only two schools so far that plan to use the test, but others may follow in the near future.
Here’s a sample question:
Let’s think about this: why is Lily buying beer? If Lily were smart she would know that you shouldn’t drink beer on an empty stomach. An apple and a banana just won’t cut it. This question is bogus too because if Lily is, in fact, a kindergartner, the cashier is definitely asking to see some ID before Lily pays. And where did you get all that cash, Lily? If you’re trying to get into private school you shouldn’t be spending your money on alcohol. Who’s the smart one now?
If you think you’re smarter than a NYC kindergartner, take the rest of the test here.
Image shot by Olivier Ribardière