Around this time every year I find myself complaining about how very certain I am that my hands are about to fall off. “They’re just gonna freeze up and die,” I might text while walking to the subway. “My fingers hurt,” I’ll routinely complain to my mom while carrying on outside. “My thumbprint is broken,” I’ve whined to the kind humans at the Genius Bar. “Ma’am, this is a Starbucks, not Apple,” they always reply.
You see?! The cold gets to my head.
But not this season. No siree. This winter I’m going to buck up and buy gloves. Three pairs, in fact, which may seem excessive but nothing is as excessive as my complaining about something that has a very simple solution.
First I’ll need the above calf hair and leather pair by Acne for my daily living purposes; they’ll act as my main gloves of choice since they are so damn cool. A bit of a splurge, sure, but so is hand surgery. Or so I’ve heard.
Next I’ll get these cashmere-lined black and ivory bad boys from Club Monaco. I’ll wear them any time I’m doing my après-ski-despite-the-fact-that-I-do-not-ski-look, or anywhere that I generally want to look chic as snow.
Last but not least is this pair by ASOS, with “S T U N N I N G” written across the knuckles in white. For $26 dollars I’m just like, don’t hate me ‘cuz you ain’t me, all the while refusing to take off said gloves indoors. Who needs texting ability when your hands have newly-accrued but non-permanent knuckle words? Not me.
Although maybe what I do need is to not spend a combined four hundred-something on three pairs of gloves. So what do you think? In the spirit of editing, which ones should I choose?