I’m playing that fun game again where I pretend the Internet is my closet and begin conjuring up different outfits utilizing pre-existing spoils from the trenches of my physical closet to determine whether making the hypothetical possessions real is worth the dip. So far I have learned that like eating a quarter pound of beer battered french fries drenched in hot sauce, it always seems like a terrifically irresistible idea until you’ve actually done it. At which point, you’re just irrevocably full.
On today’s roster: Charlotte Olympia’s “Gretel” wedge ankle boots. They come with laser-cut leather socks attached and everything!
I’m partial to this wedge because it is high as a kite and I appreciate the use of patent leather on a Mary-Jane in a capacity that reads neither promiscuous or presumptuous in the same way an underage girl in fishnets might. Does that make sense? No? Well figure this, they’ll be great with the most mundane clothes you have. Old jeans, new jeans, a boring-ass dress. Shorts, no shorts. Culottes?
Or, see, how about this here satin teddy bear head which hails from the same camp-of-brand. Do you think the headless horseman chopped off his own head because he was actually a snuggly teddy bear and because wanted to scare the shit out of people and couldn’t run around looking like angel dust? In order to turn a profit, maybe he turned his birth-given head into a handbag and, well, here we are.
I’m not quite sure what you can put inside of him — my guess is your cellphone and a couple of bucks — but man is it cute. It kind of resembles my childhood stuffed animal (whose name is Puffy, by the way — no relation to Diddy) and at 30% off its initial price, I do wonder who might deem it an appropriate holiday (or, ahem, birthday) gift.