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Welcome to Send Your Brain to the Spa Month
07.03.17
Send Your Brain to the Spa Month
Send Your Brain to the Spa Month

Amy Larocca penned a piece for the June 28th issue of New York Magazine called “The Wellness Epidemic,” about the one-billion-dollar wellness industry, that of the champions of dusts and powders and Gwyneth Paltrow and meditation and oils. It is worth a read if you have not seen it, but also extremely redundant for me to say what we know is true outside of Larocca’s Shamanic 2,000 words: self-care/wellness has become the epicenter of the privileged, Western pursuit of happiness. If it used to be that happiness was defined by financial reward, it is now defined by how well you can optimize that financial reward to unleash your inner zen. The thing that I’ve been wondering, though, since I first set foot into the Transcendental Meditation center of Beaver Street in 2014, is: If I wasn’t so stressed out and overworked and exhausted all the time, would I really have to submit myself to self-care so dramatically? What is financial reward, really, if you have to spend it all on recovering your adrenals?

I have done everything: the powders, the spritzes, the Gwyneth, the homeopathic capsules full of gall-bladder equalizer. At best, it helps me sleep easier because I feel like I am doing something, but at worst, I’m out several hundred dollars and wondering why the fuck I’m still so anxious. Which is all to say nothing other than that I am physically incapable of turning my life into the basis for which we theme some of our months. And for July? We’re sending our brains to the spa, but not for Cordyceps retention or to like, figure out how to advance the runway of our prefrontal cortexes. No! We’re sending them there to hang out. Massage will be a massage: not a tissue-restoration treatment. Cucumbers will be consumed because they’re cool (literally!), not because of their pantothenic acid content. And when we read books, it will be to turn off. To chill the FFFFFuck out.

We’re going to test a new publishing cadence — reducing the daily number of stories from 6-7 to 4-5 (how could we expect our brains to enjoy their spa treatments if they are constantly being asked to write?), but that will mean absolutely nothing about the quality of story that will land on your screen. As a matter of fact, we hope that the quality will get better! Maybe this will work so well that we never go back to the previous cadence. I don’t know. Yolo. You can expect horoscopes and a new series we’re launching on the occupations of the American workforce that you don’t commonly hear about. That sounds much more professional and serious than it actually is. There will also be mad ~style~ storiez: some about looking like a retired masseuse, others about how to wear the least amount of clothing possible without getting fired. I will record more episodes of Monocycle!!!! We will taste test different ice creams (and hair-removal methods — also, please read this vintage story by Amelia wherein she compares Brazilian waxing to SoulCycle), but most important, we will have fun. After all, we left our brains at the spa.

Photos by Louisiana Mei Gelpi and Edith Young. 

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  • Alexa M

    I support the quality over quantity publishing strategy 🙂

    • Anne Dyer

      Same!

    • always 🙂

    • BarbieBush

      I’m interested in other’s opinions about the quality issue. I have recently been pretty bored by the content posted here, which was never the case in the last like 5 years of reading. Does anyone else see this decline? Sometimes MR feels like a mix between a women’s mag and goop to me. Possible I am just losing interest personally in the brand but I’d like to know if anyone else feels this.

  • Veronique Villarroel

    Ideal!

    Have a nice week,
    Verónica

    Blog: INSPIRACIÓN DE VERANO http://www.it-moi.com ♥♥
    Youtube Channel: NUEVO VIDEO:DIRECTO! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCs4ylV9u2IlYDxRXcroi6jg

  • gracesface

    As someone who’s brain is constantly go-go-go I am very much looking forward to this month. Can’t wait.

  • me

    Excellent timing: My brain desperately needs a day at the anxiety-free zone spa.

    Bring it !

  • Nat Ch

    Yeai for not stressing about being our “best selves”!

    Some weeks my best self is a quiet, moody cat that doesn’t even has apetite BUT it comes up with some strange ideas for short stories to be written somewhere in the future. Sometimes my best self is the one that feels like working out every.single.day instead of reading or learning. Sometimes I don’t brush my hair. We can’t be everything at once; life is prettier with hues (darker and lighter versions of whoever we are).

  • Anne Dyer

    I went back and read a Babysitters Club book last month because my brain needed it. It was better than a therapy session really. And now I can deeply contemplate if I’m more of a Stacy or a Dawn.

    • Stacy!!! Forever!!!

    • Gaby

      I read a few some time ago after years and was very surprised to find current me couldn’t stand Dawn but liked Mary Anne way more than I did as a kid. Stacy remains a favorite.

  • Cynthia Schoonover

    I think we feel anxious because we are bombarded by social media. I’m not on Facebook, I don’t have Instagram, Twitter, or Snapchat accounts because I think they would be a time drain for me. I subscribe to my local newspaper and I only read the articles I want to read and I avoid a lot of the news. If something important is happening in the world, my husband will tell me. I enjoy the comics and Dear Abby. A daily walk with my dog is a spa treatment, because I am doing things on dog time which involves stops for sniffs at certain spots, and a fast walk when he turns the corner to head home. I enjoy working the daily crossword puzzles in the newspaper. I sew a lot which is fun and takes my mind off of things, because I have to focus on what I’m doing, or I’ll end up sewing the wrong pieces together, and I have done that. What really clears my mind is being a passenger on our Harley trike motorcycle-feeling the breeze, smelling the scents, and seeing the world from a different perspective. A good ride is no skunks, and we’re always being followed by vultures, but our joke is that they’re looking for an old Latin teacher(me). Taking shower is soothing for me because I have a shampoo that smells like birthday cake and a bar of lavender soap which was a gift from my youngest daughter. I think we need to unplug and not feel guilty about doing something every minute of the day. I realize we all have jobs, but we need that down time. Oh, and pedicures are a definite down time.

  • Meena Chaudhary

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