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Your Ideal Friendship, According to the Zodiac

I’ll tell you, if you tell me your sign.

06.19.17
Collages by Maria Jia Ling Pitt
Friendship Month
Friendship Month

I don’t live my life according to the stars, or even blame stuff on retrograde, but I’m a sucker for a personality test. Astrology readings provide a similar dopamine hit. I read Amelia’s horoscopes every month for that very reason (and also because I know she writes them after a glass of wine). It’s fun to imagine our personalities are defined right from the start, and that the moon and stars are all somehow involved. Might our sun signs also indicate what kind of friends we are? I decided to take it upon myself, astrology novice that I am, to find out. It is friendship month after all. After a fair amount of internet research, my conclusion is….I have no idea. But I’ve translated my very scientific learnings below, so you can tell me if I nailed you down.


Aries

Your friendship personality: You’re the kid who made friends wherever you went, but you do not cling. Rather, you’re clinged to. You tend to have friends who kind of follow you around and look up to you. It’s sweet, but you don’t necessarily return the sentiment. That’s not to say you’re not supportive and loyal! You can give a lot when you’re in the mood.

Your biggest friend problem: You can get offended easily.

Your TV friend identity: Cookie from Empire

You’re friendly w/: Gemini, Aquarius, Leo and Sagittarius


Taurus

Your friendship personality: You’re one of those people who has friends from when you were, like, five. And they actually know what’s going on in your life. You’ve probably referred to one of your friend groups as “the fam” before. You’re a good advice-giver because you really care and take your friendships seriously. What an angel. You mean it when you call someone “best.”

Your biggest friend problem: You can get possessive, maybe even jealous, and read into stuff too much.

Your TV friend identity: Monica Geller from Friends

You’re friendly w/: Pisces, Cancer, Virgo and Capricorn


Gemini

Your friendship personality: You were probably popular in high school, but not clique popular, just genuinely well-liked. You maintain friend groups from different walks of life. On birthdays you probably stress over combining friends. You’re a social butterfly and a good listener and people want to be around you because you’re funny.

Your biggest friend problem: Your friendships don’t necessarily go deep, unless you connect with someone on a crazy intellectual level. Then they’re in.

Your TV friend identity: Shoshanna Shapiro from Girls

You’re friendly w/: Aries, Leo, Libra, Aquarius


Cancer

Your friendship personality: You’ve definitely complained about it being hard to make friends as an adult, but you also don’t really do anything about it. You prefer the friendships that just kind of…HAPPEN. Unfortunately, that’s rare for you, because you’re extremely selective. Once you do find your peeps, you’re loyal and supportive and helpful. People come to you for advice; you calm their worries, etc. It’s sweet.

Your biggest friend problem: If someone betrays you, you don’t forgive easily.

Your TV friend identity: Hannah Horvath from Girls

You’re friendly w/: Taurus, Virgo, Scorpio, Pisces


Leo

Your friendship personality: You don’t cast your net wide so much as deep. This is in part because you love to be surrounded by very, very close friends, but also because of your ego. You like to be the center of attention and not be outshone, which you’d never admit. There are good sides to this, though: You tend to bring people together, and you’re generous! You like, plan trips and stuff.

Your biggest friend problem: You need to be appreciated for all you do. If you’re not, bitterness builds.

Your TV friend identity: Samantha Jones from Sex and the City

You’re friendly w/: Gemini, Libra, Aries, Sagittarius


Virgo

Your friendship personality: You were definitely a shy kid. Once you make friends, you prefer to stick with them through thick and thin because the thought of making new ones makes you want to take a nap. You prefer to have a best friend who is more showy than you, because it takes the pressure off. You’re great in a crisis, btw, and your friends rely on you.

Your biggest friend problem: You’re self-conscious and are sensitive to friends embarrassing you or making that worse.

Your TV friend identity: Miranda Hobbes from Sex and the City

You’re friendly w/: Cancer, Scorpio, Taurus, Capricorn


Libra

Your friendship personality: You have a lot of friends and love to be surrounded by them. You’re social and a good communicator and prob enjoy going out with big groups. You friends come to you for straightforward advice; you’re good at weighing pros and cons. When you’re getting ready for an event with friends, they come to you for approval because you have gr8 taste.

Your biggest friend problem: You get lonely easily, and that can make you a little needy.

Your TV friend identity: Serena van der Woodsen from Gossip Girl

You’re friendly w/: Leo, Saggitarius, Gemini, Aquarius


Scorpio

Your friendship personality: You tend to nurture a few close friends rather than a big crew. You’re the wise friend — people come to you with their trickiest problems — and you always offer solid guidance. You’re also good at organizing people; even though your circle is small, you tend to sort of lead it.

Your biggest friend problem: You have def made enemies out of past friends who wronged you.

Your TV friend identity: Blair Waldorf from Gossip Girl

You’re friendly w/: Virgo, Capricorn, Cancer, Pisces


Sagittarius

Your friendship personality: You’re easy to be friends with: considerate, charming, cooperative. You have a lot of friends as a result. The thought of going new places doesn’t make you that nervous because you’re pretty confident in social situations. Your friends are comfortable inviting you on trips and stuff because you’re a safe bet.

Your biggest friend problem: You’re a little non-committal and easily bored by people.

Your TV friend identity: Poussey from Orange is the New Black

You’re friendly w/: Libra, Aquarius, Aries, Leo


Capricorn

Your friendship personality: The idea of friendship is very important to you. You want stable, long friendships, and you approach them with a sort of objective devotion. You try to give good advice and care for your friends because you think that’s important. You want them to come to you. And you’re very loyal, too. It’s nice to be friends with you.

Your biggest friend problem: You can be a little secretive and withdrawn and can write people off if betrayed.

Your TV friend identity: Hermione Granger from Harry Potter

You’re friendly w/: Scorpio, Pisces, Taurus, Virgo


Aquarius

Your friendship personality: You’re friends with so many people you borderline can’t keep track. You love having a lot of social options at any given time, and you’re a little wary of getting too attached because that makes you feel claustrophobic. Pls, no needy friends. Your weakness, though, is people you come across that can get on your level intellectually — then you’re hooked.

Your biggest friend problem: You value your freedom over people, which can make you come off unattached.

Your TV friend identity: Ilana Wexler from Broad City

You’re friendly w/: Sagittarius, Aries, Gemini, Libra


Pisces 

Your friendship personality: You somehow seem to attract friends who need you. They’re either in trouble or suffering and, lucky for them, you’re great in a bind. You listen well, speak thoughtfully and are just overall helpful. This kind of dynamic is common in your friendships. Maybe too common?

Your biggest friend problem: You can neglect to care for yourself in your friendships.

Your TV friend identity: Jane from Jane the Virgin

You’re friendly w/: Capricorn, Taurus, Cancer, Scorpio

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  • Hilary

    ADORE these collages !!!

  • tmm16

    I am a Taurus and my best friend is a Cancer so 110% spot-on.

  • So upset @ Hannah Horvath being my TV friend personality D:

    • oliviafortune

      Me, too. I almost can’t breathe.

    • megmary13

      fellow cancer here–i almost choked when i read that!

    • Meg

      Me four 🙁
      Haley, what Cancer hurt you???

    • Merrynell

      Ugh. I know. I was like, What?! No. She’s such an unlikable character.

  • Rachel

    This may not be spot on for all Virgos but for this one it is 100%!

    • Alison

      Did you read all of them, or just Virgo? I read Scorpio and thought it was dead on … but then I read some others. They could also be true.

      Also, I read Amelia’s horoscopes *with* a glass of wine, which now feels even more right.

  • Hayley

    I am a Taurus but do not identify with that description at all. Sounds more like my husband, who is an Aries.

  • In honor of friendship month I immediately texted my “friendship personality” to my BFF for her confirmation that it is totally not me and she complied the way best friends do, by describing my real personality to a T and feeding my ego. Gotta love that Leo. <3

  • Aydan

    spot on with the aquarius…constantly thinking about my proximity to people and never let anyone get too close or know everything cause I’m scared of being boxed in! DAAMNNNN

    • gracesface

      you sound like one of my Aquarian friends!

  • gracesface

    Gemini here – I’d argue that Geminis are really the best friend candidates (and I married one). But outside of that, Aquarians! Damn good conversation. Or those sweet Libras.

  • prairie dogs

    This didn’t work out super accurately for me, but I love this concept. I do have a weird/uncanny pattern of being extremely close to Pisces, though– several of my long relationships, my marriage, and several very close friends!

  • Ashley Minyard

    Hmm this is actually so accurate for me, a Gemini! Also I’m a really big fan of these collages. Maria is seriously killing it with her artwork

  • Rose Leger

    Yeah also rolled down here to say the collages in this are BEAUTIFUL @ Maria

  • Lindsey

    The collages, holy cow!! All so stunning!

    • mafer!

      My thoughts as well!

  • Spanky

    Now I must watch ALL of Jane the Virgin. This also prompted me to acknowledge that two of my longest-standing friendships are with Tauruses. Hmm!

    • Spanky

      I’ve also been in serious relationships with 2 caps who had the same birthday. I think they have different Myers Briggs personalities though. I think Haley should do a crosswalk document of sun/moon/rising combos and their Myers Briggs equivalents.

  • mafer!

    But Hermione is a Virgo!

  • nope

    Could not have been more innacurate for libra, entertaining though!

  • Kristina McDaniel

    omg, these collages. Who made them? are prints available?

    • Kristina McDaniel

      and horoscope spot on too

  • Emily

    got stressed out by the accuracy of this (aries).. I do my own thing but and pride myself on having my own aesthetic/identity so it does bother me when people imitate me too much – there is one friend who has done this so much that my bf says it creeps him out, haha. the worst though is when friends borrow as much as possible from my identity then stop being my friend. weird and shitty behavior

  • SBB

    Pretty accurate for this Sag…

  • Karen L

    Is it wrong to hate all zodiac roundups because my sign is total ass (Cancer) ……….is anyone in this boat

    Ever website ever: “You’re isolated and cranky and just want to nest and pop out babies” hahahah fuck that

    • ladle

      My sign is almost always the social butterfly with her shit together, and I am over here just… How?

  • Sloane

    libra 100% true. spot spot on

  • awkward female commenter

    I can’t tell if this is a parody site.

  • PtitNFit R

    That is so accurate, scary ahahahah

  • DAY6trash

    My so called friends used me for entertainment and now, they’re bullying me. I feel like if I tell someone, they’ll spill. What should I do?

    • DAY6trash

      I trusted them and I’m scared they’ll tell my secrets. I have evidence of them being racist and malicious to me but I’m scared they will tell people everything about me if I tell a teacher. They’re both Gemini and another is Taurus. They said I’m too sensitive but I’m a Pisces. What can I do?

      • Alexandra Queiroz

        Hi, I hope things are better for you now. Regardless of telling a teacher or not, try to stay as far as possible from those bullies and find someone who can be a true friend. I wish you all the best!

  • Vida Rose

    fun!

  • Rachel Lauren Hickman

    This is actually so insanely accurate! I am a gemini and my best friend is a cancer and we clash so much sometimes and this totally lays out why.

  • ladle

    Apparently I am the only Libra out there with very few close friends, though I am social, that can be alone for a long time and also constantly argues with her Leo friend about that particular validation-needed side of them.