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Welcome to Friendship Month
06.01.17
Friendship Month
Friendship Month

I don’t know if this is true for anyone else, but when I go too long without seeing my friends, I start to feel trapped — like there is a ceiling on the sky above me. I think it occurred to me too many years out of school that, without putting in effort, you can go a really long time without seeing your people. This is particularly true when you’re married. Sometimes I get so caught up in my pre-work writing, my during-work managing and my post-work colleague-relationship maintenance plans that when the weekend comes around, all I want to do is let my tongue fall out of my mouth, deadweight my arms and legs and watch reruns of Friends until my husband tells me it’s dinner time. And when I do get out of bed, I am perfectly happy having that dinner just the two of us, thank you very much. But then a month or two goes by and I realize: What the fuck? I haven’t seen my people in months! Then I’ll freak out and over-plan and after one or two truly recreational pre or post-work gatherings, I will feel whole again. Complete. And because of that, I forget and fall back into the vicious cycle and the re-runs of Friends are ending and the fact that I’m watching Friends, not living Friends, does not get lost on me.

Maybe this is part of the reason we are dedicating the month of June to friendship, but probably not (it was Amelia’s idea, not mine). Either way, if you are nodding your head in accordance, if you’ve been working and self-maintaining and dating for so long — doing anything, really, that has gotten you caught in your own universe — that you have forgotten to call your best friend, now is a really good time to call her (or him)! And because it’s June and the weather is (fingers, toes, arms and legs crossed) getting better, it’s a great time to pick up your head and make some plans with people you love. While you do that, we’ll probably write about Sex & The City because when do we not? We’ll appraise what it means to be a good friend, someone may or may not confess that they’re not good at it at all. We’ll enlist the stars (the entire zodiac system, really) to advise on what makes a compatible friendship and talk about twinning. But don’t worry, we won’t be so literal all the time. Garments, accessories, the digital ~connection~ we have stricken with one another all make for great friends too, so let’s have at it. (And if you have any ideas, please share them in the comments!!!! I love when we write Man Repeller together.)

Photo by Edith Young.

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  • Ana

    I’m so excited for this

  • ReadER451

    http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2017/05/a-linguist-explains-what-close-friend-really-means.html

    Just read this link via Cupcakes and Cashmere! May be a point of inspiration. Also, I would love to see something this month regarding Amelia and Leandra’s frienship. I know you often write about each other, but you two are just so darn cute.

  • What about when you see your friends too much? Are everyday walks after work excessive when it means losing me-time?

    • Leandra Medine

      depends on the person! time with friends feels very much like “me” time for me, buyt everyone is different

      • That’s a good point. Maybe this means my walking friends ≠ my therapeutic, insightful friends. I guess it all comes back to surrounding yourself with what makes you feel good– be it inspired, animated, enthusiastic, etc.– and not solely about combining being social with “more steps.”

  • Also, don’t forget about our furry — or scaly, no judgement — friends. We get so attached to them, and they can’t event talk (back) to us!

  • tmm16

    Love this concept! Excited to see the content 🙂

    I’m curious to know, which has been slightly covered in the past, but how social media has changed what “friendship” means, especially when it comes to likes, comments, favorites, meme tags, you name it. Is it an accurate way to measure a friendship? (My opinion: Absolutely not, but some people take it seriously if you don’t like their photo on Insta in 5 mins).

  • Daniella

    The rarity of having a friend thats like the cliche ‘best friend’ imagined when you’re younger.

  • Gracie

    I am an identical twin and she has always been my best friend. I would love to see an article about twins, or even what it means to be friends with you sibling!

    • Leandra Medine

      Do you and your sister volunteer yourselves!?

  • Sarah Lindsay

    The fact that adult friendship is soooooo hard and confusing and sometimes isolating! I think the difference between juvenile friendship and the latter is that the circumstances change. When you’re a kid, you’re in this little microcosm and so you sort of drift to the corner that feels the most like your own. But then when you leave and enter the enormous universe of being an adult humanoid, it’s like there’s no corners and you’re just floating along hoping that someone who also likes ginger snaps and singing in the bathroom just happens to bump into you AND that they have the social enthusiasm to actually be your friend – it’s darn well exhausting. But I guess it’s all worth it when you’re both singing in the bathroom and eating ginger snaps.

  • Lil

    So excited! Adult friendships are so tricky. Can we do one about long time friendships and of the forgiving and forgetting that come with it?

  • VERY excited about this. I’ve been married for 3 years, but we’ve been together for almost 14!, so I have always had trouble finding the balance between time with the babe, and time with the babes 😉 Thankfully he is loved by all of my friends, but this only makes me feel so bad when there’s an outing of 3-4 of us planned to a happening spot, and I don’t ask him if he’s interested in tagging along. (WHY I feel guilty, I have no idea..working on it) I totally miss my friends after a good month and a half. I need to curse like a sailor, talk about various shades of red but kind of orange lipsticks, and how shaving private areas is totally annoying and how much I desire to be a bush woman. Shout outs to all the friends who get it.

  • Ify Emeh

    And if your best friends live in different cities or countries? We can talk about not only long-distance relationship, but even long-distance friendship!! That’s more problem at the moment, and what we can try to do is fixing few days of holiday together. But it will be nice to talk about how to maintain does kind of friendship. 🙂