HYGIENE-WISE, I get why wearing a wet swimsuit all day is a terrible idea. But what about a dry one? Isn’t a dry swimsuit essentially a bodysuit that can, in theory, get wet? Like if it rains or something, you’d be set! IDK, I’m not a gyno. What I am is a styler of clothes, and someone who waited for this moment for what feels like my whole life. Summer is finally here, and honestly, I cannot be bothered to wear real clothes. Sometimes adulthood means putting on pants, though. So behold: three ways to wear your swimsuit all day, if it’s dry (MOM), without a beach or a pool or a blow-up swan in sight.
There’s nothing to see here except me here, folks!
Suits these days are so damn pretty you can hardly tell if they’re tops for the Queen of England or swimsuits for Poseidon’s aquatic chorus. Trick the masses with print-clash-y trousers that hit just a little too high. Where’s the flood? Right here, baby.
Excuse me, where’s the nearest margarita opportunity?
Come dressed for any and all parties at any and all time of day. Polka dots help, ruffles assist, flat puffy sandals ensure that you stay dancing forever and a midi skirt + tube top make it a fête.
Don’t mind me, I’m just playing half-day hooky.
Does it count as a day off if you leave a little early? I don’t know, does it count as a doughnut if there’s not a hole? I’ll leave that existential question to you and HR, but I will tell you this: Keep a pair of pool slides on your person at all times and tie a bit of tie-dye around your waist. You’ll look like you’re on permanent vacation even if you can’t sneak out.
…And yes, technically, I could have just styled breathable bodysuits instead, but don’t you feel better knowing that you could jump into a body of water headfirst at any moment? Same. So, hello summer! I am ready to dive in!