Katie Sturino and I talk a lot about thighs, specifically our lack of thigh gaps and how that can make shorts shopping feel impossible. She has complained to me that when she finds shorts in her size (which fluctuates depending on the brand, but often falls closer to a 14) they feel too safe, like they’re hiding something. Katie likes a booty short, is sick of walking shorts and wants something a BIT more “formal” than cutoffs. “Done,” I said, when she told me she was ready to let me get weird with no-thigh-gap shorts styling.
“Under one condition,” I added. “You let me call it thigh-ling.” She ignored me, but I put my retainer in and began to thighyle away.
Send a Postcard from Palm Beach
If I were you — and with Katie, I am, I would channel a Palm Beach grandpa as often as possible. Tie a silk pajama shirt over the shoulders of your other silk pajama shirt. Turn your slacks into shorts and pair with a pair of slides. The only thing we’re missing here are grandpa’s compression socks, but thank god we brought his pet parakeet along.
Gym Before Work? Forget Your Pants On Purpose!
Katie wanted her butt cheeks to show, if I’m being honest. I had to explain that in New York City you don’t want exposed butt cheeks because god forbid you sit on anything mysterious and sticky. She gave in (barely) and let me try out this thing I’ve been wanting to do myself: track shorts over biker shorts with your spring-layover top and jacket carrying on as usual.
Break Out the Bottom Half of Your Troop Beverly Hills Uniform
I didn’t KNOW Katie was walking-short averse until she arrived and I was like, “Here! I found a pair of shorts that Phyllis Nefler would wear!” The reason she was against them, however, is because she thought walking shorts meant boring shorts. I tricked her into a good time with a sequined shirt and a ton of layers. She gave in, eventually. And guess what else? She used the word thylist.