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Miley Cyrus is Coming Back, Mark My Words

I’m so ready

05.04.17
NEW YORK, NY - DECEMBER 02: Miley Cyrus seen on the streets of Manhattan on December 2, 2015 in New York City. (Photo by James Devaney/GC Images)

Last night, when I saw that Miley Cyrus was on the cover of Billboard with an accompanying article, titled (in part) “Miley Cyrus Breaks Silence,” I did that thing people do in movies where they run their arm across a desk in anger, knocking everything off. Except I did it to my mind, metaphorically and out of sheer joy. “EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP THIS IS IMPORTANT,” I screamed at my brain cells as I pulled the article up on my phone and brought it close to my face.

“She looks just like her mom Tish here,” I thought creepily, appraising the feature photo of her riding a rocking horse in a field. She really does.

A post shared by Miley Cyrus (@mileycyrus) on

After the first paragraph, which described a tangly haired Miley padding around Rainbow Land, her kitschy recording studio, in a vintage T-shirt, eager to end her self-imposed media blackout, I texted my editor. “Should I write about Miley?” I shot off, linking the article. “Fine,” she responded. I recalled a Miley story I’d pitched a month ago that was shot down because “no one cares about Miley Cyrus” and felt utterly vindicated. Is this what personal fulfillment feels like? 

My fascination with Miley Cyrus is a little inexplicable. Disney’s Hannah Montana was after my time, so it’s not rooted in some sort of way-back loyalty. When “Can’t Be Tamed” came out and everyone was up in arms about her anti-Disney rebrand (remember the risqué shoot with Annie Leibovitz?), I was neither disturbed nor particularly interested. But when she started wearing that ballerina bun around LA? And when she chopped her hair and dyed it blond and started wearing black onesies and chunky gold Chanel jewelry? She reeled me in like a fucking magnet. I fell fast.

It’s hard to say how many times I watched the “We Can’t Stop” music video, but an estimation north of 100 wouldn’t offend me.

I didn’t go to her tour (I’m too old for stadium concerts; they make me feel weird), but I laughed at the tongue slide on Twitter. I listened to the album a ton. Her twangy version of pop just kind of did it for me, even though I also found it a little terrible. It’s good-terrible. In the years following, as she transitioned into her Dead Petz-Flaming Lips phase, she did lose me a little, I’ll admit. I thought that time she hosted the VMAs in 2015 was just as bad as everyone else did (WE GET IT, YOU SMOKE WEED) and I was put off by the whole face-dripping-in-sparkly-milk aesthetic she seemed so keen on through 2016. At least she stayed unabashed?

All said, I still cared about her and her 17 literal pets. I respected her work with the homeless and her musical talent and I defended her like I was in fucking court for YEARS, even when I secretly agreed with my opponents. I even stuck with her through her beading period. I mean, how could I not come out of the other side of that with some kind of Stockholm Syndrome?

A post shared by Miley Cyrus (@mileycyrus) on

I’ve been waiting for a Miley comeback for years. A REAL comeback. Her most recent album “Miley Cyrus and Her Dead Petz” just didn’t do it for me. Per Billboard, it’s coming. She’s going through another transition. She hasn’t smoked weed in three weeks! “I like to surround myself with people that make me want to get better, more evolved, open. And I was noticing, it’s not the people that are stoned,” she said. “I want to be super clear and sharp, because I know exactly where I want to be.”

By the looks of it, that means more time making music and less time sexualizing baby corn, which honestly I appreciate. I just don’t know how many more plastic beads and phallic references I can handle on my feed. Apparently her new song drops next Thursday, May 11th, and then a whole album — which she wrote entirely herself and which Billboard describes as “gimmick-free pop rock” — is set to be released later this year.

She says she’s tired of alienating people. That she’s moving past using shock as a political statement. “All the ­nipple pastie shit, that’s what I did because I felt it was part of my political movement, and that got me to where I am now,” she says. “I’m evolving, and I surround myself with smart people that are evolved.”

I’m just ready. It’s time. She is EVOLVING. She is!

A post shared by Miley Cyrus (@mileycyrus) on

Photo by James Devaney/GC Images via Getty Images.

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  • Holly Laine Mascaro

    Haley hands-down I look up to your articles the most, before I even see the name and I’m reading them I’m like “omg i love it, this has to be Haley” and lo-and-behold (not to knock ANY others, all are amazing and get me through the day!!)

    • Holly Laine Mascaro

      Also – anyone who bashes Miley Cyrus, just – GO WATCH her acoustic “Jolene” and “Look What They’ve Done to My Song Ma” on Youtube and you CANNOT DENY the girl may be cray, but she is CRAY talented.

      • Bo

        Love LOVE her cover of Jolene

    • Haley Nahman

      You’re SO NICE!!

  • Omg I’m so excited. I loved Hannah Montana and I LOVE MILEY.

    Charmaine Ng
    Architecture & Lifestyle Blog

  • Maren Douglas

    I. Am. So. Readdddyyyyyyy for some new Miley!! V excited

  • Cristina

    I too, have been waiting for the Miley reboot. I loved her since Hannah Montana. Which was after my time, yet somehow, in college, we always watched it on the couch eating Lucky Charms. It was funny! Tween funny, but funny! I somewhat pulled back during this odd hyper-sexualized, gangsta phase because that just isn’t relatable for me. It felt very “millennial cry for help” But I knew she couldn’t keep going on like that and I knew Miley was still in there. I can’t waaaaiiiiitttttttttttttt!!!

  • Babs

    Have we forgotten all this shit? It’s cool with me if she stays in her cave.
    https://mic.com/articles/61121/the-9-most-racist-miley-cyrus-moments#.xArbC9Nuv

  • Imaiya Ravichandran

    i’m so glad you wrote this because now i have an opportunity to go *awf* about something that’s been bothering me ever since i read the interview, like, 24 hours ago. here goes:

    miley insists at one point during the interview that she wasn’t appropriating black culture during her Bangerz phase. and i quote: “That became a thing, where people said I was taking advantage of black culture, and with Mike [WiLL Made-It] — what the fuck? That wasn’t true.”

    LOL. okay miley!! whatever helps you sleep at night.

    but to make maters worse, she also said the following re: her feelings about today’s hip hop scene: “I also love that new Kendrick [Lamar] song … I love that because it’s not “Come sit on my dick, suck on my cock.” I can’t listen to that anymore.. I am so not that.”

    k so let me get this straight. you used hip hop when you were desperate to shed your squeaky-clean image post hannah montannah (you SAY you weren’t trying to do that, but you most definitely did) AND YET, in the same breath, you manage to diminish the very art form you benefited from as vulgar and beneath you.

    wow. is this not textbook appropriation?? using a culture that doesn’t belong to you as a costume, and then abandoning said culture — and in this case, dissing it — when it no longer suits you?

    to be clear, i quite like miley cyrus. And i liked this article! bangerz was flames and i’m low-key excited for her new work. but the blatant lack of self awareness and insensitivity that she displayed in this interview really rubbed me the wrong way. if you’re gonna be a leech, at least be subtle about it.

    • Jennifer

      girl, preach!

    • yep to all of this.

    • Haley Nahman

      I fully agree with you and thought the exact same thing when I read the interview and 100000% should have mentioned it above so thank you for doing it for me!

    • Gwyn

      also like. the fact that this article’s pic is her appropriating a black hairstyle? yiikes

  • Michelle

    I read the article yesterday before bed and that was my exact same thought: SHE IS BACK. I’m so excited, I like the vibe she’s into right now.

  • Bo

    YES FROTHING SO MUCH FOR NEW WEEDLESS MILEY

  • Michelle

    I love this so much–it’s exactly how I feel!!

  • Alexis Bromley

    You can have her.

  • Jill

    I don’t care what anyone says…I have said for years – even when she’s doing the really obvious (to the rest of us) shock-shit and ridiculous posturing – that she’s going to have a long and prosperous career. She seems undamaged (or maybe a good bit less damaged) by the transition from wholesome tween to “sex girl” – they all seem to have to go through it – but she seems to have kept a handle on herself and there’s been a lot of winkety-wink at the industry. And…she can sing. Her backyard sessions cover of “Jolene” gives me goosebumps. (no disrespect to Dolly at all). I kind of can’t wait to see what she does next. She’s made some mistakes, no doubt. But I think she’s smart enough underneath it all to lean and rise.

    • Jill

      *learn*

  • Verde Donut

    Wow. So Man Repeller just openly enabling and platforming anti-blackness now. Are you guys seriously going to post an entire article about Miley Cyrus that is completely in awe of her, without even once mentioning and critiquing the serious racism that this person has perpetuated in the music industry? I get that we all have a “problematic fav” (mines Lana Del Rey, damn her appropriation of the Chicana aesthetic), but when you write about how much you love them, you gotta critique them when they’re perpetuating racism!

    • Haley Nahman

      You’re right you’re right I should have mentioned that problematic phase!

      • taracita

        Do you not have the ability to amend your article? Or post a follow up? Or do you just not want to expend the energy necessary?

        • Verde Donut

          Exactly what I was going to respond with. Like this whole ‘you’re right you’re right’ response is really mediocre and lazy. You should re-edit this article. It’s not a “problemtaic phase” to profit off black culture. That’s racist. She is a racist white woman who denies she is racist. You need to write about that. But I shouldn’t act surprised a white girl fawning over Miley Cyrus isn’t going to put the labor into discussing racism.

  • Paula Rodio

    I like Miley, she’s so talented. I like her love for animals and what her foundation stands for (Happy Hippie) I have never been able to judge a kid who has had to grow up in the spotlight because it must be hard! Wishing her the best!

  • Jennifer

    Honestly, she still sounds like an idiotic, unaware, teen in 90% of the article. There were just so many bad quotes, I got second-hand embarrassment.
    She’s still young, so I understand that she’s trying on a variety of styles. I get it. Just don’t mock and appropriate another groups culture, and if you’re as loving and open as you say you are, ADMIT your wrongs and maybe even apologize? I don’t know, just a thought. So now she’s going back to her country roots (she has the tattoo to prove it, guys). Ok, cool. I’m sure this new album will have a few songs that will inevitably get stuck in my head.

    • Haley Nahman

      Tbh I also thought she was annoying in the interview (I can barely defend why I still like her) and completely agree that is a huge blind spot/not okay!

  • Caro A

    ok, so one of my good good friends is a pop culture professional and he says that her “Party Animal” album was panned and is severely underrated. We’re supposed to listen to it…i am going to

    • Caro A

      Like, her glowing skin in that video is UNREAL