Great news for men in Texas who like to know stuff. Jessica Farrar, a Democratic State Representative and undoubtedly their new hero, just proposed a new bill entitled the “Men’s Right to Know Act.” The new legislation, which is currently sweeping the international news circuit, would require doctors to perform “medically unnecessary” rectal exams whenever their male patients chose to undergo an elective vasectomy or colonoscopy, or sought a prescription for Viagra.
The inspiration behind Farrar’s bill — sure to help men know a whole lot — is its sister measure, aptly named the “Women’s Right to Know Act.” Put in place in 2011, the law (among other nonsensical rules) requires women seeking abortions to look at “color pictures representing the development of the child at two-week gestational increments, [which] must contain the dimensions of the unborn child and must be realistic.”
— Jessica Farrar (@JFarrarDist148) March 11, 2017
Under her proposed bill, men would be required to ejaculate into a woman or a hospital (and a woman or a hospital only!) because, as Farrar explained to the Texas Tribune, “that semen can be used — and is to be used — for creating more human life.” Should they emit elsewhere, A.K.A. masturbate, they’d be subject to a $100 fine.
But wait, there’s more! “The measure would also allow doctors to refuse to carry out vasectomies, write prescriptions for Viagra or conduct a colonoscopy if they felt such actions went against their moral or religious beliefs in any way,” reports the New York Times.
By introducing the “Men’s Right to Know,” “an act relating to the regulation of men’s health and safety,” Farrar hopes to subject men to the same “goodwill” pro-life legislators have subjected women to over the past decade. That is to say, dehumanizing absurdity.
Of course, her hope is not to pass it, but to make a point. A point that has landed with a deeply satisfying thump heard around the world. “Although HB 4260 is satirical,” Farrar wrote in a Facebook post, “there is nothing funny about current health care restrictions for women and the very real legislation that is proposed every legislative session.”
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Photo by Bill Clark/CQ Roll Call via Getty Images.