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How to Get Dressed When You’d Rather Hibernate Until Spring

It involves having a weird and long conversation with yourself

03.16.17
Questions to Ask Yourself When Getting Dressed Man Repeller Feature

March is the weirdest month. Here we spend January and February self-medicating with our minds — trying to ride the coattails of holiday season in January and practicing patience in February — then March comes around. Clocks spring forward and it is so light outside you think you can wear the small dress you pulled out of storage. You peek out your window, sure that it’s warm enough, only it’s not. Then it snows. There is so much snow and you have to put on the clothes that say nothing about who you are, the clothes that are purely functional and you wishfully put in storage last weekend. You recall a better time — last week, for example — when you actually contemplated buying a pair of sandals. What’s the use now?

Emotionally, we have had it. We’re like lava lamps on the brink of explosion. But there is no other option, so we pull up the long johns and the boots and put on the turtlenecks and the sweaters. We look towards the sky and wonder how the sun could shine so brilliantly to the chagrin of our limbs and, in staring at the sun, start to feel like we’re losing ourselves.

Like we don’t even know who we are!

Am I projecting?

The end of winter always makes me feel like I don’t know who I am anymore. So much of my relationship with clothing has to do with identity and how I outwardly project who I am, but that person changes. When clothes cannot accommodate that, I feel like an imposter. A fraud! I know this happens every winter, so I should be better about managing my own expectations — about knowing that when I think it’s over, we probably have one more storm to go. But I live in the now! And right now I just need to get by. So what do I do? I start asking the hard questions.

Why do you feel like you’ve lost yourself? (NO MORE JEANS AND BIG, LONG JACKETS, PLEASE!)

Okay, what would you rather be wearing? (I’m not actually sure, I think that’s why I feel like I’ve lost myself.)

You do realize this has nothing to do with clothing, right? (Yes, obviously, but the mind clings to what the mind wants to cling to, and this seems like an easy enough place to start changing.)

Okay…so what do you want to look like? (Myself, but better.)

What does that mean? (Add vitamin D and a pair of shorts, subtract leggings and snow boots.)

It's 5:35, you know what that means…

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Want to think of a specific outfit you’d wear if you weren’t “losing yourself?” (Yeah. How about a smocked top, maybe an A-line mini skirt — a zebra one!)

Cool. So, what’s getting you out of bed in the morning? (A coffee cocktail of ground beans, cacao and cayenne pepper; don’t ask any more questions about it.)

And are you reading anything interesting right now? (Oh yes, I’m savoring every minute of David Letterman’s interview in New York Magazine.)

If you could be reading it anywhere, where would that be? (Uh, on a beach, you fuckhead.)

What’s the closest thing you’ve got to a beach at this juncture? (The infrared sauna place downstairs.)

Do you know what I’m going to say next? (Yeah.)

Questions to Ask Yourself 2

How do you feel now? (Better, but still not like my best self.)

So, what are you wearing when you’re your “best self?” (One of those crazy Jacquemus shirtdresses — or a bathing suit! Just a bathing suit, with a button-down shirt over it.)

How are you going to reconcile that for right now? (I don’t know.)

Think about it, please. (I guess..by…taking the morning off, blasting the heat and drinking my coffee while in a bathing suit and button-down shirt?)

Questions to Ask Yourself When You're Getting Dressed But Don't Feel Like You Anymore Man Repeller Feature

How does that feel? (Misplaced, but also like I am severely understood!)

But now you have to go outside. Is there a way to bring the spirit of your best self to your current self? (You’re probably only asking because the answer is yes, right?)

Right. (Well! I could ~accessorize~ with really extravagant headbands and brooches and other stuff, too.)

What’s stopping you?

???

???

(Nothing, I guess.)

Questions to Ask Yourself

You get the point, right? (I think so?)

Is that a yes? (Well, it’s not really about the stuff, right? It’s about the attitude and how the stuff helps trigger the mindset.)

Not as corny, but yeah. And how are you feeling now? (Pretty much the same, but I’m glad there’s a big ass flower in my ear.)

Feature photo by WILLIAM WEST/AFP/ via Getty Images.

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  • I am so ready for spring and can’t stand anymore coats!

    xo Jessica

    My Style Vita

  • in California we had a couple of near 80 degree days, and are now back to a butt-house of clouds eclipsing the sun. Looking at the weather forecast of another solid week of rain I had to give myself the “you get depressed at the end of winter every year, why can’t you expect and accept that this too shall pass?” talk. I love you for turning up the heat and putting on a bathing suit, that image was the best pep talk ever.

    • Grace B

      amen for not living in a place where it snows!

  • Amy Brumbpo Tungus

    Oh my god, the first thing I thought when looking at this is how poorly fitted the girl’s bra is in the cover photo. MY BOOBS AND I SEND YOU OUR CONDOLENCES.
    Leandra, I love those big pink sunglasses.
    Over and out.

    • Anonymous

      Agree that the bra is poorly fitted, but I actually love how she looks! So natural and real = so beautiful!

      • Amy Brumbpo Tungus

        Absolutely agree!

      • Senka

        My thoughts exactly. There’s a picture of a slim woman, obviously posing but with tighs that aren’t photoshoped and a natural looking breasts, and she’s still stunning. And I was happy that beauty was the thing I noticed before I looked for “flaws” I would search for on my self. Maybe there’s still hope for the way we perceive ourselves.

    • rolaroid

      Why is it ill-fitting? It seems just the right size and not squeezing them!

  • I have this feeling every March, but it’s usually about my hair, which turns to straw over the winter (brittle, dry and dull).

    Conversations with myself always make me feel better. That and a trip to the salon.

    • tmm16

      I always want to chop mine off in March. Like now, I feel like my hair is incredibly dry and brittle and I need a trim. Considering chopping it off and getting a bob.

      • That’s what I did last week! I went from a messy shag to a sleek bob, and I feel so much better.

      • Meg S

        I have a bob and I’ve encouraged other people to get bobs. I’m making a bob army, and we are fabulous.

  • XJ JX

    cute knickers!

  • Amy Mills

    wow this was brilliant

    …also, as soon as you told us not to ask you any more about your morning coffee-chocolate-cayenne cocktail, I want to know more. let us into your liffeee

  • Hellbetty666

    I went out last night in hotpants, fishnets, cowboy boots and a technical fleecey shacket, it was 5 degrees Celsius. I don’t know who I am but frankly I don’t care. I feel like a butterfly emerging from my chrysalis. I don’t know where my style is going to take me, but I’m ready to embrace the next stage.

  • Hellbetty666

    Also my cheap sunglasses (TM)

  • This is so accurate to where I’m at exactly today aka I’m wearing a shapeless grey sweater and jeans and if that isn’t a cry for help I don’t know what a cry for help would cry about. THANKS 4 THA QUESTIONNAIRE, BRB REINVIGORATED!

  • Hannah Cole

    I FEEL YOU

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