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Dan Humphrey Got Married; Isn’t Lonely Anymore

Penn Badgley watch 2017

02.28.17
Photo by Matin Zad (@matinzad) via Instagram

Domino Kirke married Penn Badgley on Monday, February 27th in a Brooklyn courthouse and neither her nor his rep responded to People’s request as promptly as People would have liked, if at all.

That’s the news about that!

Now let’s talk about important stuff, like how Domino Kirke was named after a British bounty hunter, or how she used to be in a band called DOMINO, either a coincidence or named after herself, that was stylized in all-caps. She founded Carriage House Birth, “a collective of trained and certified birth and postpartum doulas providing education for families and doulas alike,” and she, too, is a doula. I could say doula all damn day. (I just read about her company here and what they’re doing is really interesting.) She is also a card-carrying member of the Kirke clan (Jemima, Lola and my neighbor Lorraine, who happens to be their mom) and! she put the world’s largest figs on her vegan, gluten-free wedding cake.

Don’t knock GF baked goods until you’ve tried them.

Domino Kirke reminds me of two of my closest friends (one is a doula, the other is getting married in a courthouse in March) and because of that I have projected onto her that she is kind and hilarious. I have also projected another fact: that she does not care about the fact that Penn Badgley is still Dan Humphrey. The two are inextricably linked. He’s Penndan. Beside the fact that if I married Penndan I would spend too much time asking him things like, “Didn’t you think it was dumb and made no sense [spoiler] that they made you Gossip Girl???,” I would also worry about whether or not my husband the human portmanteau was still in love with Serena van der Woodsen. I’m not a jealous person unless I’m bored, but you cannot deny that Serena van der Woodsen is Aphrodite reincarnated with the drug-inducing charm of Ulysses Everett McGill in O Brother, Where Art Thou? (best soundtrack.)

And if you believe, as I believe, that Penn Badgley will forever be Dan Humphrey — not just because the world will never let him forget it despite his STUNNING rendition of a hot mascot woodchuck in Easy A (in which he dated Emma Oscar Winner Stone), then how could you NOT worry about Lonely Boy eventually returning to One True Love?! Non-blood-but-on-paper INCEST couldn’t keep D and S apart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LET ME MAKE IT WORSE.

Before Domino, Penndan dated Zoë Kravitz.

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Kravitz is a woman so cool that I don’t even have the words to explain the panic that should come from such a former coupling. Read her Teen Vogue interview then get back to me with your request to have a photo of her face screen-printed on all articles of your wardrobe’s clothing. Another thing is that I hate those Miu Miu flats and she just made me die for them.

But Domino Kirke isn’t worried. She is not grossed out by umbilical cords nor is she annoyed when you’re the tenth person to ask her about pooping while giving birth. She is chill as a glass of iced tea on a hot summer’s day. Serena is no match for Domino. She may have the hair of a palomino stallion, but Domino Kirke got the man.

Also, no offense to Dan but did you just read that short bio I wrote about Domino? SHE is the catch!

A post shared by Darren Will (@smileoutofhell) on

Feature image by Matin Zad via Instagram; photo of Zoë Kravitz via Teen Vogue.

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  • Harling Ross

    Can’t wait for Dan Humphrey Jr. watch 2018

    • Ottilie

      That will be one cute kid

  • Jennifer

    Inexplicably cannot get enough of this Penn Badgely watch. It’s like I never ever want him to forget that he is and always will be Dan Humphrey, no matter how much he wants to. No, Penndan!

  • tara

    ha, my friend got married in that same ugly pink room a month ago. thought it then and think it now: why couldn’t they just center the podium and painting!? why?!?!

    • Amelia Diamond

      hahaha. it’s such a perfect aesthetic for penn and domino though

  • Emma

    it’s weird how interesting i find this. wait, no it’s not!! and don’t they both have EXTREMELY likeable faces?

    • Emma

      i don’t believe I’ve ever met a doula but the last picture in this article is exactly how i picture one looking like!

    • Amelia Diamond

      lovable faces

  • starryhye

    I watched Gossip Girl religiously when it was on tv, and never did I think Dan Humphrey aka “Lonely Boy” aka Penn Badgley was remotely attractive. And then I saw “Easy A”…o_O

  • Marley Arviso

    I’m dyyyinnnggg this is so funny! PENNDAN!!

  • If you want to fall totally in love with Domino Kirke watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4tn6pH8v-o
    But be warned that it will probs make you cry actual tears. She is incredibly inspiring and wonderful to the moon.

    • Grace B

      yes didn’t make it down thread, but i loved her interview. I’ve also just loved everything stylelikeu has done. those closet interviews!!!!

      • Senka

        So true! I watch their interviews every time I need a good healthy dose of female empowering energy.

        • Grace B

          me too, and when they were just style like u (I miss those videos most) I just loved, loved, loved all of the different clothes and inspiration people offered.

    • Caitlyn

      I just clicked on this article to post this video myself! I’ve re-watched this several times. She is so inspiring.

      • I’ve made 104,000 bucks in last 12 months by doing an on-line job and I did it by working in my own time f­­o­­r 3 or sometimes more hrs every day. I was following a business opportunity I found on-line and I am so amazed that i earned such great money. It’s really beginner-friendly a­n­d I’m just so happy that i learned about it. Here is what i do… http://easyurl.net/f2265

    • Senka

      Watched it couple of times and she’s stunning and an allround amazing womang. Then I watched the one with Jemima, and fell completely under the spell of the Kirke girls.

    • Amelia Diamond

      this is really beautiful!

  • Lauren Caudle

    You have excellent taste in music, Amelia.

  • Bailey Stark

    haha I loved reading every minute of this <3

  • BEST. SOUNDTRACK.

  • Molly

    That soundtrack was my childhood. So was Lonely Boy. Best.

  • Katy

    The second I heard this happened I was like, “I can’t wait for the MR article.”

  • Grace B

    but what!?!?! i don’t know how I missed this…looooved her interview for StyleLikeU/What’s Underneath (as well as Jemima’s…hearbreaking…) and they are just SOO pretty, the both of them.

  • I follow Domino on Instagram and she seems like the coolest person.

  • romy

    So basically, Dan ends up with…Vanessa!

  • prairie dogs

    The Kirke sisters and Zoe Kravitz (and her mom) are all so goddamned cool! This reflects well on Penn Badgley/Dan.

    (Also it was super dumb that they made him Gossip Girl!)

  • Senka

    Never watched the Gossip Girl ( I live under the rock literally) but have seen Domino interview in StyleLikeU project and fell in love. She is amazing, stunning, strong and human. Definitely a catch!

  • Kayla K

    As someone who recently started binge-watching Gossip Girl in response to coming down with a cold, I really should have taken “[spoilers]” to mean EXACTLY WHAT IT MEANT and STOPPED READING.

    That is 110% my fault, but… man. Do I even keep watching?

    • Amelia Diamond

      you do. it literally makes no sense and affects nothing so keep watching.

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