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16 Haikus on the Horrors of Puberty

You remember puberty right? Or did you black it out?

01.11.17

changes-month-man-repeller

The first time I asked my mom to take me to buy a bra I was laying in bed, flat as a board, sweating odorless bullets. As she kissed me goodnight I steeled myself to ask, a shakiness in my voice and hands that was frankly overkill considering my mom’s general disposition. I worked up the nerve when she was one foot out the door and, once I did, she took pains to act as if she’d been waiting all along. So sweet. I was flooded with relief. She said that, how funny, she’d thought of buying me a little trainer just the other day! How lucky I’d asked. I was euphoric. All ten years of me.

Years passed before I actually needed the little bras we bought that weekend, but something about it felt ceremonious and necessary. A rite of passage. Puberty is so packageable in that way, isn’t it? First bra. First deodorant. First pube. First period. It’s satisfying only in hindsight, though. At the time it was like wandering around a haunted house, never knowing what new horror was around the corner. Except the house was your body and the skeletons were bad smells, coarse hairs and weird feelings.

Remember when we reminisced on losing our virginity via prose? Well, rewind a handful of years because this week, sixteen of us dared to take a commemorative lap around old haunted houses. It’s puberty poetry hour, guys. Read above and then pen your own!

Get more Beauty ?
  • These are all great, but my favorite haiku might have to be Ana’s. Pure gold.

  • So scared: armpit hair
    Tampon troubles: “It goes WHERE???”
    Boobs: Not happening.

    • KK

      I was going to write one but ^^^ it me.

      • ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

      • Kelsey

        100%

  • No

  • Giant hoops worn for
    My first day of middle school
    Doused in cucumber melon.

  • I waited it for it
    It came, I bled ev’rywhere
    Through my plaid school skirt

  • steph

    OMG This is absolutely amazing. Ah.May.Zing.

    Love Love Love!!!!
    http://www.dearonlninediary.com

  • YES! Your haiku posts are always my faves

    – Natalie
    http://www.workovereasy.com

  • Jolie

    7th grade: C-cup.
    8th grade: double D’s.
    High school: Please don’t ask.

  • Danielle.

    said she was my friend
    She tried to tape my big boobs
    down- that’s not a friend.

    Just 7th grade and she
    said it was to help me. She
    used duct tape- that bitch.

  • Deanna

    Got my period.
    Slid the note under the door
    Of my mom’s bedroom.

  • Greer Clarke

    Lol 7 is a beaut

    • Greer Clarke

      omfg 15

  • Mercedes Ayala

    Elaina is my spirit animal

  • Luarnaiz

    oh! deodorant
    never really needed it
    wanted it so bad

  • Colleen Pepe

    is this it (shows panties)
    Friend says yes
    If it weren’t for her i wouldn’t have known

  • Aine C

    Wished for boobs mum taught
    this simple chant I must I
    must increase my bust

  • Love this, but can we have a reminder that a haiku is 5/7/5 syllables? <3