The red carpet at the 74th Golden Globes was so spectacularly boring that I could not have been happier. It was like meeting up with your best friend out at a bar without having a conversation about what you two planned to wear and yet you both adhered to the same very casual/no heels memo.
First and foremost, it is January 8th, which is a Sunday. This is a day of rest following a busy first week back! No one had a calm month of December, either. Every single person had an end-of-holidays social media post like “I need a vacation after that vacation.” Well I need a year after that year. I need a damn minute to chill.
Looking so good, Viola Davis
My heart simply could not have handled the fashion equivalent of gothic architecture this evening. Hell no to rococo. My heart needed soft curves, bay windows. Rounded edges. Flattering chiffon. Rihanna, thank god you did not attend because I needed a nap. A palette cleanser for the post-season of paillettes and glitter. I would not have been prepared for Met Gala level couture — there is a reason all of that waits until May and Fashion Week doesn’t begin until mid-February. It’s not the time yet.
The outside of Westworld looks great on you, Thandie Newton
Sometimes you want to look at a red carpet from the safety of your couch in your pajamas with your Thai food and your airplane socks and you want to be able to know definitively whether or not you like a dress — you can’t be questioning your personal taste versus that of a designer’s genius! Was the outfit appealing, yes or no? Easy. Easy like Sunday night! I am nursing a hangover, after all, not hosting a Ted Talk on the evolution of Kerry Washington’s brilliant style.
Kerry Washington in Dolce & Gabbana couture
Thank god for the #AskHerMore movement. I want to pick up a few points about the movies I feel like I don’t know enough about, catch up on these celebrities’ lives and get a little “behind the scenes” info. Then I want to point my finger at the clothes on the television [to my roommate or no one depending on if he’s in the bathroom or ignoring me: “Oo, I like that one!” “That one, meh.”] And then I want to move on! Am I alone?
Octavia Spencer and Evan Rachel Wood both wore custom tuxedos instead of dresses. (Octavia’s was by Laura Basci, Evan Rachel Wood’s by Altuzarra.) They both looked amazing. And ooh, pants! Very edgy. Except it wasn’t. I loved what Wood said. It was something along the (very paraphrased) lines of, “I wanted to show young women that wearing a dress wasn’t the only option, but this isn’t a statement. I liked the tux.” Then she cited Lauren Bacall, Victor/Victoria and David Bowie (tonight would have been his birthday) as inspiration.
Evan Rachel Wood in Altuzarra, Octavia Spencer in Laura Basci
Perhaps more refreshing than tuxedo itself was Wood’s attitude about it: It wasn’t this giant fashion extravaganza or political statement. It just was.
So as for those boring red carpet dresses that tend to really offend all who tuned in for a wild show, there you go. Maybe these stars all showed up to the bar with the same mindset: Award Show Casual.
Or look at it this way! They’re just warming up!