VIDEO: What Happens When Your Internet is Too Damn Fast

The Writers | January 31, 2017

How many excuses do you think we were able to make up to use Leandra’s internet?

In partnership with Verizon FiOS.

A brief history of using my friends in a series that I call Doorbell Excuses:

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Summer of 1993: Scheduled playdates with a nearby neighbor for the sole purpose of using her Nintendo.

Summer of 1996: Developed a closer relationship with an acquaintance because she had a pool slide.

Every Wednesday after school in 5th and 6th grade: Did “homework” at a pal’s house where her mom let us watch TRL and eat junk food.

Every Friday after school in 8th grade: Sleepovers with one of the few girls I knew who had dial-up internet — and unlimited access to it.

In high school: Hitched a lot of car rides.

In college: Borrowed so many notes.

Post-graduate: Borrowed so many movie-and-TV-show-streaming passwords.

Most recently: I used Leandra for her web speed.

As I write this, Leandra is one of the first humans in New York City with Fios Instant Internet thanks to this very partnership. Our office doesn’t even have it yet, and guess what I do for a living? I work online. Lags, buffering, slow loading time — it doesn’t just make me want to scream, it DOES make me scream. Then I terrify everyone because I sound like an injured pterodactyl, and office morale goes down. It’s a mess. So anyway, Leandra recently got this super-fast internet which she then bragged to the team about while working from home, and let’s just say we suddenly had a million reasons to pop on by and say hey.

Can you blame us??

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Click the video above to see what I mean. (Oh, and then tell me what your Doorbell Excuse would be.)

Film stills by Krista Anna Lewis.

  • Aydan

    I know its an ad, but damn you ladies are adorable! also LOVE the sound Leandra’s toes make when she walks to the door. Want that in my life for comedic punctuation please!

    • Haley Nahman

      100% agree

  • Senka

    You guys look so darn cute all suited up!

  • Lola

    Please can you guys note that it’s an ‘ad’ on the main bit of the website. Selfish ask: my work has cruelly blocked wifi in the toilets, so I load up an article to read before. Cue disappointment when it’s an ad.

    • Kate Barnett

      We do we do! Collaborations are always marked as such on the homepage feed as well as in the story to try and avoid anyone ever feeling liked we tricked them into reading. So, not a selfish ask at all and thank you for the feedback — I’ll work on making that more apparent!

  • Mary

    I appreciate very much how you guys are open about advertising for partners (all, see “In partnership with Verizon” right at the top) but keep it down to earth and hilarious. So many sponsored posts are fake and scammy, but you all generate money for your business (that benefits every single reader here!) in a genuine way.

    • Leandra Medine

      This is the best compliment we could possibly receive, Mary. Thank you!

  • SAR

    Where is your jacket/kimono/caftan from??

    • Leandra Medine

      Fivestory!

  • Fran

    I think I need one of those Man Repeller stickers on my computer ASAP

  • Gloria Cook

    This AD just made me so happy. MR should just take over Fios’ marketing forever. I never enjoyed watching an ad so much, so effective. I love team MR!

  • MG

    The coffee maker in the bathtub gave me serious anxiety!

  • Giselle Graham

    so cool! This video has a serious Amélie vibe which I love!!