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The Ladies of The Bachelor That I’m Already Falling For
12.08.16
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The cast of Nick Viall’s season of The Bachelor, premiering January 2nd (less than a month away!), has been announced. For those just joining us here in Bachelor Nation (Chris Harrison voice), Nick is an unusual pick for Bachelor for a whole host of reasons.

For one, he’s been around the Bachelor block like three times — first, on Andi Dorfman’s season of The Bachelorette (season 10, which premiered in 2014), where he lost out in the show’s finale to Josh Murray. THEN, Nick appeared on the next season of The Bachelorette with Kaitlyn Bristowe where, yet again, he was the runner-up. THEN, Nick decided to go on Bachelor in Paradise (my favorite of all the Bachelor franchises), where he again went head-to-head with Josh Murray, who ended up dating — and becoming engaged to — the woman Nick was interested in.

In addition to his, er, wealth of Bachelor expertise, at 36, Nick’s also older than the typical Bachelor. As A Dash of Data tabulates, the average age of the men on the show is 31. According to his show bio, he’s “a charming man’s man, whom the ladies just can’t get enough of.” That bio certainly wasn’t written by Josh Murray!

But we already know plenty about Nick. Let’s dive into his 30 female suitors, shall we? The first thing to note is that this bunch is really, really into dolphins. There’s Alexis, “Aspiring Dolphin Trainer”; Angela, who loves them because “They are playful and sociable and live in family groups”; Astrid (if she was a dolphin, she would “rescue lost sailors and swim in the ocean doing tricks”); Briana (as a dolphin, she would “breathe underwater, do flips and be cute”); and Lauren (“they are so cute and smart and they get to live in such a beautiful environment, under the sea!”).

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The second thing to note is that I already have a forerunner, and it’s Vanessa (pictured above) because she’s practical as hell. When faced with the question, “If you could be any fruit or vegetable, which one would you be,” her answer is, “An onion because they’re a staple item and can be found all year round.”

But as Bachelor fans likely know, practicality and knowing how to properly stock your pantry will only get you so far — or rather, nowhere at all. This show is all about drama and sad backstories and drinking large goblets of white wine in order to muster the courage to “steal him for a sec.”

In that vein, keep your eye on Elizabeth aka “Liz” because she seems prone to rage over the seemingly innocuous. Her answer to a question about her least-favorite sport: “Golf – it’s boring and angers me.” There’s also Danielle M. (there are two Danielles this time around, and two Jasmines), who sadly mentions a deceased fiance a few times. That sounds like rose-after-uneaten-dinner-on-a-one-on-one material, doesn’t it? And then, there’s Corinne, who runs an “online business” (she doesn’t specify as to what sort of online business). “It’s very important to me, but the cool thing is it’s online, so I can run it from anywhere,” she says. She seems willing and eager to move wherever her heart takes her — even, perhaps, Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

Photos via ABC.

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  • Andrea Raymer

    I already know the spoilers! do you want to know if you chose the right frontrunner?

    I’m really excited by how much more diversity there is this time around compared to Ben Higgins’ harem of blondes and Jojo’s group of identical men.

    In addition to dolphins the girls all love Ariel from the Little Mermaid. They just all really love water. Also Kristina gets REAL in her bio questions.

    • Amelia Diamond

      Knew you’d be here. Andrea, Leslie is taking over Bachelor stuff. You may have met your match.

    • Leslie Price

      No spoilers please!

  • Amelia Diamond

    “keep your eye on Elizabeth aka “Liz” because she seems prone to rage over the seemingly innocuous. Her answer to a question about her least-favorite sport: “Golf – it’s boring and angers me.” hahahahaha