Market Report: Shoes to Break the Glass Ceiling

Amelia Diamond | November 8, 2016

Seven pairs of fancy footwork to walk all over the haters and naysayers

Greek people have had it right all along, breaking plates!

They know the satisfaction of smashing porcelain against a floor. It’s like a pumpkin, but better. It’s like pushing a handful of Doritos into your mouth because it’s Sunday, motherfucker.

Jewish people know what’s up, too, just stomping the shit out of a lightbulb in a satin sack 100 times (takes longer than you’d expect) until it pops like the flash in a 1940s paparazzi camera.

Russians! Per a legend regarding a miscommunication and a Tsar, Russians will sometimes break shot glasses to celebrate.

But breaking these glass ceilings, man, is a female-specific tradition. They are metaphorical piñatas waiting to be split in half by our metaphorical bats. They are the bag of ice that we have the honor of throwing down and smashing so that everyone can scoop the ice bits up in their Solo cups. They are ours to kick so that they break like karate boards.

KA-POW!!

Which means we need some serious shoes.  Shoes to shatter limits, destroy restrictions and splinter hushes. Right?

RIGHT.

Now slip ’em on and strap your feet in. You can’t go barefoot in this house anymore — there’s glass all over the damn floor!

Photos by Krista Anna Lewis; creative direction by Emily Zirimis and Elizabeth Tamkin.

  • Alanis

    LOVE the shoes! I also love the broken glass, very dramatic! Your photos are always cool Krista!

  • Greer Clarke

    I’ll take the Roger Vivier’s complete with pink satin vagina embellishment thank you very much (how appropriate!)

  • Marina Doshkevich

    Dramatic is for amateurs. Always has been, always will be. Enough with the empowerment bullshit. If you have earned your entry to the top, you will get it. If you don’t get it, don’t go sniveling about being marginalized. Too many people, including presidents seem to get where they ate going by sniveling, and drama. As for the embroider everything in sight trend so as not to be mistaken for someone that prefers your clothing to actually have a function; I get it. But frankly, its really time for slow fashion. I don’t carer about spending more, but I am all done buying things that will look stupid next season. I am actually looking to perfect my look, not replace it every time, and I want clothing I will have forever.

    • Marina Doshkevich

      The cap toe anlkle booties are nice. I like the square midi heels, and I like laces. Every single other shoe is a disaster of ugliness.

  • Emma

    Feels depressing reading this now.. realizing what progress we all believed to be imminent will have to wait at least four more years…