Prince Harry Sets Important Boyfriend Precedent

This is how you DTR

11.08.16
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Prince Harry addressed the press by way of Kensington Palace letterhead today and asked them to leave American actress Meghan Markle — his girlfriend — alone.

Markle has been trolled online with racial slurs, threats and sexist comments. She and her mother have been harassed by reporters and photographers. She was “smear[ed] on the front page of a national newspaper” (which The Guardian believes to be The Sun’s misleading front page headline, “Harry’s Girl on Pornhub”; the clips on Pornhub are from the television show Suits, in which she stars). “This is not a game,” reads the statement. “[I]t is her life and his.”

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We’ve established that women are their own white knights. I’d bet Markle was not sitting around, waiting for Prince Harry to come to her defense. That being said, it doesn’t mean she wants her partner to sit idly by while she’s getting harassed (essentially on his behalf), like, “Well my grandma, the queen, says it’s better if I keep quiet on the matter.” Issuing this statement was an honorable and cool thing for PH to do.

But let it also be known that what Prince Harry just did was set a precedent for All Relationships Going Forward:

“His girlfriend, Meghan Markle”…

“…a few months into the relationship with him…”

“His girlfriend…”

“…a few months into the relationship…”

“His girlfriend…”

PRINCE HARRY JUST PUBLICLY DTR’D SO HARD THAT IT REQUIRED FORMAL, ROYAL STATIONERY.

DTR = Define the relationship = using the titles Girlfriend and Boyfriend DESPITE THE FACT THAT “it’s only been a few months” = there will be ZERO ambiguity, gray space or confusion about what he and Meghan Markle “are.” He is her boyfriend, she is his girlfriend. It’s an agreement more clean than Taylor’s Swift’s guitar strings after she Cloroxed the blood, sweat and tears post-John Mayer split-up.

Now may I have everyone in the whole wide world’s attention:

***To avoid future confusion in this messed-up millennial world of choice, commitment phobia, fear of labels despite actions of exclusivity and app-centric dating, THIS IS HOW YOU MAKE IT CLEAR THAT SOMEONE IS/IS NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND.***

Facebook, you can keep your “it’s complicated” setting. No one uses it.

Snapchat, be my guest with those drama-packed icons that hint at who might be flirting with whom.

Instagram, I see you, luring me into a potential fight with that tricky who’s following who shit.

I will be over here with my potential future boyfriend, printed-out template, fountain pen, monogrammed letterhead stamp and hard-to-figure-out-but-it-does-work scanner. “Post this to a public forum or I am single until you do” is the new Young Love gold standard.

Photo by Ben A. Pruchnie via Getty Images.

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  • Gail St. John

    As refreshing as Prince Harry’s candor is, all of this hullabaloo just reminds me how behind I am on Suits.

    Also, I patiently await the day when a WOC dates outsides of her race & there’s no undertone that dude must have some strain of jungle fever.

  • camila

    Amelia – I just read this im dying

    • Amelia Diamond

      thnk you but please live!

  • Ashley

    This is great. I am all in for anything related to the royal family (especially to distract me from this election. *refreshes fivethirtyeight*)
    Small typo: stationAry should be stationEry. I remember which one to use because you need an Envelope for your stationEry.

    • Ashley, you have no idea how much I relate to your comment. I’ve been refreshing that site since 6am today.

    • Robin

      are you watching netflix’s ‘the Crown’ yet? Its gooood

      • Emmalisa Tilli

        I LOVE IT!!!!!!!

  • This is so so true! I do admit I have no love for Prince Harry but do did like him a tiny little bit thanks to this. The press here have been pretty appalling – not counting the fact that this country is currently in the middle of a major disaster and we are still talking about Prince Harrys girlfriend.

    http://www.FashionandFrappes.com

  • Alice

    omg this is the greatest thing ever

  • Greer Clarke

    Yaaaaasssssss

  • Yawynne

    WHAT A BABE. Had the pleasure of meeting him last year and he seriously does have a spark to him. BUT WOW ISN’T IT CRAZY THE LENGTHS THAT PEOPLE GO FOR A ROYAL ROMANCE STORY THOUGH ???????!!!

  • Does anybody else remember when Prince Harry called someone a paki

    • BK

      YES AF, also remember the Nazi Halloween costume? It in no way justifies the treatment of his gf nor the invasion of their reasonable right to privacy – which he probably considers quite important considering the role that the overly invasive British media played in his mother’s death, but it’s good to remember that he’s not quite the perfumed rose.

      • Yeah, in no way am I saying that his gf (sorry i don’t know her name!!!) deserves any kind of racism, i am just pointing out the hypocrisy of the royal family, they are only making an issue of it because the prince is effected

  • Macy

    As a black woman who is dating a white guy and has dated white guys in the past, this a whole lot more common than people think. luckily for her, her BF can see the problem and nip it in the bud instead of dealing with passive aggressive friends, who totally act innocent and clueless whenever it’s brought to light. Stay strong girl!