The Complex Feminism of Hillary Clinton’s Decision to Stay Married
10.19.16
the-complex-feminism-of-hillary-clintons-decision-to-stay-married-man-repeller-feature

When Hillary Clinton’s campaign began to prepare for the possibility that Donald Trump would bring up Bill Clinton’s infidelity as a voter-deterring strategy before the second debate, it made me put myself in Hillary Clinton’s shoes. Why would she, as a strong, independent feminist, choose to stay with Bill Clinton after his public affair with Monica Lewinsky? The answer I kept coming back to is that marriage is complicated, and so much of being an empowered woman is having the choice to make the decision that’s right for you. I spoke to Monica Parikh, dating coach, attorney and writer who specializes in female empowerment within relationships, and here’s what she told me:

“There is no perfect marriage. It is unrealistic to assume there will never be a crisis point in a relationship. If both people in the relationship choose to work on their issues, a crisis can be the catalyst for a more inspired union. Do I think infidelity necessitates divorce? No.

No one knows what happened behind closed doors in that marriage. At the end of the crisis, these two people had significant history and a child. Their commitment to the relationship could signal enormous bravery on both of their parts.

We’re all wounded from childhood. According to Imago Theory, we unconsciously find partners that represent the good and bad of our parents or primary caregivers, which means that they love and hurt us in a similar way. When partners hit a crisis in their relationship, it’s an opportunity for both people to do work on their inner selves to heal those old wounds for the adult partnership. But oftentimes people will hit a crisis and go straight for divorce. They entered into marriage with a flawed sense of expectation and abort the relationship early, right when the relationship has potential for both people to heal themselves as adults.

Marriages are different for every couple. We all have a variety of needs — sexual expression, communication, closeness, mutuality, nurturing, etc. No one person can satisfy every need for his/her partner. Two people may negotiate to have certain needs fulfilled elsewhere. For example, whereas I may enter into a marriage with a need for monogamy, not everyone has the same need. People have different arrangements and satisfy their needs in different ways. It’s not for any of us to place a value judgement on other people’s relationships. People stay in relationships when they’re getting enough of their needs fulfilled.

In the case of Hillary and Bill Clinton’s marriage, both people are obviously getting enough of their needs fulfilled by the relationship to have continued through what I’m confident were very stormy seas and very dark seasons. Neither ‘needed’ to stay with the other one, right? Bill Clinton chose to stay with Hillary, and Hillary chose to stay with Bill. It means their relationship fulfilled and is fulfilling enough for each person to stay in this partnership.

Hillary and Bill Clinton’s marriage is an amazing study on relationship. A very powerful one. When they speak about each other, I always suspect that they have enormous respect for one another. He respects her intelligence and capability as a leader, and she respects him as one, too. I do not believe that Hillary Clinton is any less of a feminist for staying with Bill Clinton after his affair. When it comes to Bill Clinton’s infidelity and Hillary Clinton’s decision to stay with her husband, remember that no one actually knows what goes on behind closed doors. She may not have needed him to be monogamous to her; that’s not for any of us to assume or judge, nor do we know what their personal conversations about their needs and relationship requirements looked like.

When is it dangerous to stay with someone? If you’re clinging to a relationship or tolerating disrespect because of your fear of being alone, or when you’re putting up with continual disrespect because you’re afraid of being alone — that’s when you’re in the wrong relationship. And yes, infidelity is disrespectful, but only if monogamy was a requirement within the relationship. But the truth is that none of us know.

If a woman is happy being single, more power to her. If a woman is happy in an “open” relationship, more power to her. If a woman chooses to stay and work on her marriage after infidelity, more power to her. If a woman chooses to leave the relationship, like Eliot Spitzer’s wife did, then more power to her as well.

The danger comes when we judge other people’s choices, and when we pretend to have any idea of what’s going on in the internal world of a relationship. The danger comes when we put a value judgment on other people’s lives. We have no idea what happened. We saw 2% of the story and then came up with all sorts of ideas about what was right and wrong.”

Monica Parikh is a dating coach, writer and lawyer who aims to empower women to be their best selves and attract healthy, rewarding love. Check out Monica’s class on MindBodyGreen: 28 Days to Attracting Your Best Relationship & Building a More Confident You.

Photo by © Wally McNamee/CORBIS/Corbis via Getty Images.

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  • Alex S

    I think the Clinton marriage is also one that became inherently political. There seems to be an acknowledgement on both sides that they are stronger together than apart. In this sense, they truly are a team. So when Bill’s transgressions came to light, the sentiment was that he betrayed the team, but their shared goals and commitment/respect for them was ultimately the stronger force in determining their fate.

    • WAKE UP DUMB ASSES

      THEY STAYED TOGETHER FOR POWER AND TO LIE AND CHEAT AND ROB AND FUCK THE COUNTRY BLIND. PLEASE READ MY COMMENTS.

      • Basil

        I think you need to lay off caffeine for a bit. You seem stressed

      • Mariana

        You are not going to make your arguments valid by calling people dumb asses. You can still make your point without insult, you know?

  • Taste of France

    This is a smart analysis. I personally wouldn’t be able to handle infidelity in marriage, but that doesn’t mean I should impose that on others, any more than imposing traditional roles of the woman as stay-at-home housekeeper. To each his own, and no judging….as long as one doesn’t force it on anybody else (lookin’ at you, “Moral Majority.”)

    • WAKE UP DUMB ASSES

      THIS ANALYSIS IS ABOUT AS SMART AS YOUR FARTS. PLEASE READ MY COMMENTS.

  • Holly Laine Mascaro

    YES THIS

  • Great stuff, Amelia. Well said. There are so many factors that go into a marriage, of course, and people writing this off as good vs. bad feminist clearly don’t have a grasp of all the types of feminisms out there.

    Also, I find it comical that Trump believes he’s the moral authority on women and marriage in these last few weeks before the election. Of course it’s a pathetic and desperate ploy to knock down Clinton’s widening lead, but still. He’s slept around and alluded at sexual assault whilst being married. And besides, it’s Hillary running for president, not Bill. He doesn’t seem to get that. Sure, I don’t think Bill has been anywhere near the loyal husband he should be (in fact, I think he’s been more than his fair share of sleazy), but this election is not about him. And we must stop holding Hillary to that double standard wherein she has to carry the burdens and actions of her husband.

    Say No to Bros 2016. @I’mWithHer #I’mPost-Bro

    • Aydan

      TRUTH on that last bit. Its infuriating to me that she is called upon to answer for that, but at the same time I think it’s telling that Trump/his team only have that to go after her on at this point aka they’ve run out of reasons to back her into a corner.

      • Absolutely. They’re a desperate bunch to say the least.

        • WAKE UP DUMB ASSES

          YOU MUST BE REALLY BE STUPID. GOOGLE KILLARY AND YOU WILL FIND OUT JUST HOW CORRUPT SHE AND HER PIECE OF SHIT HUSBAND REALLY ARE. ALSO READ COMMENTS.

    • WAKE UP DUMB ASSES

      PLEASE READ MY COMMENTS

  • Natasha

    Really interesting. But I think in any case, you can be a feminist and still make mistakes in your personal relationships. You can be a feminist and not be a strong, independent, empowered woman all the time. We’re all human!

    • WAKE UP DUMB ASSES

      I have to ask, ARE YOU RETARDED? She is married to the rapist! He was impeached. If she wins he will get back in the White House. That’s why it matters. WAKE UP! This is what’s wrong with this country right here! What a bunch of bullshit! No normal woman is going to stay with a husband who is a rapist. Killary stayed with him for one reason only. He was the most powerful person in the world- a president of the USA and she is a power whore. No normal woman would stay with a man who had numerous, too many to count, affairs. No woman with stay with a man who fucked Monica with a cigar and lied about fucking her at all. I did not have sexual relations with that woman he kept saying. Then why did your cum appear all over her blue dress? Good thing she saved the dress, since it was her only proof and no one would believe her until she showed everyone the dress with his splooge all over it. He is a perverted piece of shit. He promised he would never get rid of the USA jobs and he surely did as soon as was elected. He passed NAFTA. I don’t like Trump either but the Clintons are no good. They are corrupt and have lied time and time again. They pay their way out every situation and even kill people so they don’t get exposed or caught. I want to know how old the author of this article is and how old the people who commented are. Were they even around when Hillbilly Bill was president? He was impeached for Gods sake!
      This is the United of States of America, the greatest country in the world and we have the best colleges in the world, and the best we can do for Presidential candidates is these two clowns????? No matter who wins we are all doomed and our children and grandchildren are also. Wake up you dumb ass author and people who commented.

  • I think you’re totally right. None of of us the full story of what happened or even what their marriage is like and their needs so we shouldn’t be so quick to judge x

    http://www.wonkylauren.com

  • Jill

    I think this is an interesting analysis and one worth considering, but I still have issues with the Clintons and how they portray themselves and their relationship to the American people. Here is what we know: Bill has a long history of being a womanizer — we were there in the 90s and we saw it all first hand. We saw him use taxpayer time and money to have inappropriate relations in the Oval Office, which belongs to the people. Then we saw how both Bill and Hillary did all that they could to, at a minimum, discredit the women who Bill was “involved” with (or allegedly assaulted, depending on which situation you’re talking about), and at a maximum, possibly threaten and silence them. That is not my personal brand of feminism. Then we see them refuse to acknowledge any of this and we heard Bill in his speech at the DNC speak only of their love and deep friendship. He called her his “best friend” over and over, and the crowd cheered and cheered (I was in the arena).

    Here’s my issue: I know how often infidelity occurs in a marriage. I DO NOT think Bill’s transgressions — or really any aspect of their marriage — disqualifies her from being president. I still plan to vote for her. But I could really do without their show of “nothing to see here” to the public. All I want is an acknowledgement that it happened, it was hard, it’s something so many spouses in this country had to deal with, it might have changed our relationship but we’re stronger for it, blah blah let’s move on. All I would want is for Bill, perhaps, in that DNC speech to focus on their partnership, their teamwork, how much he respects her. But to pretend they have this smokin hot marriage of deep friendship and love is not something I buy, and I find it cheap and phony and off putting.

    This is a good article because staying with your spouse after infidelity is indeed a complex feminist issue, and I agree with the unspoken tone that it shouldn’t affect her fitness for office. But I simply cannot stand being made for a fool by them and living in La La Land where we pretend none of this ever happened and it wasn’t a massive public scandal that cheapened the office of the presidency and cost us all time and money.

    • Shannon

      All of this, yes.

    • Natty

      Yeah… while on the topic of feminism, let’s discuss her role in helping to shame the women who Bill hit on/approached/had affairs with into silence so as to not tarnish the Clinton Brand. Feminism.

    • Olivia

      But why should that matter? They don’t have to acknowledge something that we ALL know, let’s move on.
      And honestly it wouldn’t help her either if it was obvious that there is some tension on her marriage or whatever. And HIS massive scandal shouldn’t be causing her any more political damage.
      Ultimately it’s not our business if they look like a happy couple or not

      • Jill

        The way she plays the electorate for a fool is our business. Whatever the topic, she has been dishonest in many ways (directly and by refusing to discuss certain topics) her whole career. That ties directly into her likability as a president, which matters in a democracy. Whether something “should” matter has no bearing on the fact that it simply does to this voter. And, continuing on the example of his speech about their marriage at the DNC, that is something coordinated by her and her campaign very carefully and deliberately. It is not “punishing her for his sins” as people say; she continues to work closely with him and use him as a surrogate and have him be her partner, and that reflects on her as a leader. She chooses her team, and he is on it.

        • Olivia AP

          But you want her to discuss her PERSONAL LIFE that’s what your comment was about, the appearance of her marriage… And that is not our business, the conversation should be about her proposals. And what do you know about her marriage? you are making an assumption, taking it as true AND expect her to acknowledge that her marriage is troubled and talk about the past and the scandals we already know (which is punishing her for his sins)…
          And btw, Trump doesn’t get the same treatment.

          • WAKE UP DUMB ASSES

            READ MY COMMENT PLEASE

        • please read my comments

          that is true. they are together for power. plain and simple. power and greed and lying to us and stealing from us. they are corrupt. killary is just no good. she sickens me. we have the worst 2 presidential candidates ever.

      • wake up dumb asses

        It IS our business. They are going to decide every aspect of how are lives and our kids and their kids and their kids will be. I wish you could understand why it matters. Please read my comments.

      • please read this

        Olivia it matters because it affects every single one of us. It will even affect your kids and their kids and their kids. We need to be educated and informed so we can make the right decisions.

    • Wake Up Dumb Asses

      I have to ask, ARE YOU RETARDED? She is married to the rapist! He was impeached. If she wins he will get back in the White House. That’s why it matters. WAKE UP! This is what’s wrong with this country right here! What a bunch of bullshit! No normal woman is going to stay with a husband who is a rapist. Killary stayed with him for one reason only. He was the most powerful person in the world- a president of the USA and she is a power whore. No normal woman would stay with a man who had numerous, too many to count, affairs. No woman with stay with a man who fucked Monica with a cigar and lied about fucking her at all. I did not have sexual relations with that woman he kept saying. Then why did your cum appear all over her blue dress? Good thing she saved the dress, since it was her only proof and no one would believe her until she showed everyone the dress with his splooge all over it. He is a perverted piece of shit. He promised he would never get rid of the USA jobs and he surely did as soon as was elected. He passed NAFTA. I don’t like Trump either but the Clintons are no good. They are corrupt and have lied time and time again. They pay their way out every situation and even kill people so they don’t get exposed or caught. I want to know how old the author of this article is and how old the people who commented are. Were they even around when Hillbilly Bill was president? He was impeached for Gods sake!
      This is the United of States of America, the greatest country in the world and we have the best colleges in the world, and the best we can do for Presidential candidates is these two clowns????? No matter who wins we are all doomed and our children and grandchildren are also. Wake up you dumb ass author and people who commented.

      • Adrianna

        “No normal woman” “No normal woman” “No normal woman”

        No normal person spends this much energy trolling. Furthermore, you lost any chance at credibility by using the word “retarded”

    • Wake Up Dumb Asses

      these are the worst 2 presidential candidates of all time. l at least you understand somewhat what went on but its much more than that. it wasn’t just one affair, it was hundreds. the lying, cheating, stealing and corruption and whats really unacceptable. they are no good.

  • nevvvvave

    Am I the only one who thinks it’s silly to position their marriage through the lens of Feminism? I mean…they are politicians with controversial histories and ambitions, which we only get a glimpse of sometimes. I can vote for her without insisting that her every choice is a feminist statement (or that any of them are)

    • Nia

      I agree. I don’t think her decision not to leave her marriage makes her any less of a feminist but come on, staying with an adulterous man isn’t a feminist choice. I’m not sure it was an empowering choice either – as an outsider to their marriage, I don’t think I’m in a position to make that judgement. I don’t think it’s useful to deem the choices made by individual women as feminist or unfeminist.

      • Wake Up Dumb Asses

        I have to ask, ARE YOU RETARDED? She is married to the rapist! He was impeached. If she wins he will get back in the White House. That’s why it matters. WAKE UP! This is what’s wrong with this country right here! What a bunch of bullshit! No normal woman is going to stay with a husband who is a rapist. Killary stayed with him for one reason only. He was the most powerful person in the world- a president of the USA and she is a power whore. No normal woman would stay with a man who had numerous, too many to count, affairs. No woman with stay with a man who fucked Monica with a cigar and lied about fucking her at all. I did not have sexual relations with that woman he kept saying. Then why did your cum appear all over her blue dress? Good thing she saved the dress, since it was her only proof and no one would believe her until she showed everyone the dress with his splooge all over it. He is a perverted piece of shit. He promised he would never get rid of the USA jobs and he surely did as soon as was elected. He passed NAFTA. I don’t like Trump either but the Clintons are no good. They are corrupt and have lied time and time again. They pay their way out every situation and even kill people so they don’t get exposed or caught. I want to know how old the author of this article is and how old the people who commented are. Were they even around when Hillbilly Bill was president? He was impeached for Gods sake!
        This is the United of States of America, the greatest country in the world and we have the best colleges in the world, and the best we can do for Presidential candidates is these two clowns????? No matter who wins we are all doomed and our children and grandchildren are also. Wake up you dumb ass author and people who commented.

      • Merri

        This reminds me of Anne Marie Slaughter’s essay “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All.” It’s a great article, but it troubles me that Slaughter places so much emphasis on feeling as though she’s failing as a feminist or letting down feminism if she were to do what would make her happy, which was quit her job working at Clinton’s State Dept. The Sheryl Sandberg philosophy might put too much pressure on women. We’re individuals, and we should do what’s right for ourselves and our families, not some abstract idea of furthering the arc of feminism.

  • Alison

    Thank you for this post! I really appreciate the line, “I do not believe that Hillary Clinton is any less of a feminist for staying with Bill Clinton after his affair.”

    There have always been lots of feminisms, and many ways to be a feminist. I’m currently teaching a course on Sor Juana Inés de la Cruz, a seventeenth-century nun whose version of feminism is equally complex: she’s pro-woman, anti-gender, and pro-talent (which both rewards merit and fails to recognize class or racial inequalities). It’s fascinating to see how deeply her writing resonates in our own time. Son temas que no se han resuelto.

    I am loving MR’s coverage on politics, the media, and representations (and shoes, obvio). Thank you for all of it.

    • Jolie

      This is so cool! I have a huge book on Sor Juana on my “to-read” list and had no idea she was so feminist.

    • Wake Up Dumb Asses

      We are truly doomed with stupid articles like this and stupid replies.

  • Imago Theory is fascinating! I recommend the book ‘Getting the Love you Want’ by Harville Hendrix. I read it after a breakup and went, ‘ohhhh, that’s why it didn’t work out!’

    • wake up dumb asses

      I have to ask, ARE YOU RETARDED? She is married to the rapist! He was impeached. If she wins he will get back in the White House. That’s why it matters. WAKE UP! This is what’s wrong with this country right here! What a bunch of bullshit! No normal woman is going to stay with a husband who is a rapist. Killary stayed with him for one reason only. He was the most powerful person in the world- a president of the USA and she is a power whore. No normal woman would stay with a man who had numerous, too many to count, affairs. No woman with stay with a man who fucked Monica with a cigar and lied about fucking her at all. I did not have sexual relations with that woman he kept saying. Then why did your cum appear all over her blue dress? Good thing she saved the dress, since it was her only proof and no one would believe her until she showed everyone the dress with his splooge all over it. He is a perverted piece of shit. He promised he would never get rid of the USA jobs and he surely did as soon as was elected. He passed NAFTA. I don’t like Trump either but the Clintons are no good. They are corrupt and have lied time and time again. They pay their way out every situation and even kill people so they don’t get exposed or caught. I want to know how old the author of this article is and how old the people who commented are. Were they even around when Hillbilly Bill was president? He was impeached for Gods sake!
      This is the United of States of America, the greatest country in the world and we have the best colleges in the world, and the best we can do for Presidential candidates is these two clowns????? No matter who wins we are all doomed and our children and grandchildren are also. Wake up you dumb ass author and people who commented.

  • Jolie

    Thank you for writing this insightful piece. At the beginning of the election, I struggled to relate to Hillary at all, although I knew I’d be voting for her come Election Day. I found her marriage a sort of embarrassment, I guess. But after all these months, I’ve realized that her marriage is complicated and none of my business. Maybe she’s totally fine with Bill being a womanizer. Maybe they have an agreement. Just because my relationship looks different, doesn’t mean hers is wrong.

    I can’t agree with Hillary on everything, but I definitely respect her. The sexism and double standards she has to deal with on a daily basis from millions of strangers, including important politicians and media, must be exhausting, but she keeps on going. Not that my vote is important, but she’s definitely earned it.

    • Wake Up Dumb Asses

      I have ZERO respect for Killary and her corruption and lies. This is the stupidest article yet. Did Killary pay you to get sympathy from young morons?

    • Wake Up Dumb Asses

      your vote is important. every vote counts. its unfortunate that we have the 2 worst presidential candidates ever. please read my other comments.

  • Stephanie

    That last paragraph- sooooo true! I feel like there’s too much judgement out there on just about anything people do, it feels icky to have someone else’s moral codes forced on me.

    • Wake Up Dumb Ass

      How old are you Stephanie? 12? We adults don’t use words like “icky” when it comes to voting for the most powerful position in the world, a president of the USA.

  • Helz

    Bill is a rapist, at least allegedly so, as well as being accused of groping, flashing, & harassment. Why arent we talking about that? I dont care one bit about Monica (except that I admire her recent anti-harassment statements). I care about the women he victimized, because I believe women, & Im sick of rape and harassment and all the rest.

    • Olivia AP

      I will tell you why: BECAUSE HE IS NOT RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT

      • Wake Up Dumb Ass

        I have to ask, ARE YOU RETARDED? She is married to the rapist! He was impeached. If she wins he will get back in the White House. That’s why it matters. WAKE UP!

        • Olivia AP

          WOW. Using the same abhorrent terms Trumps uses.

          I’m not even wasting my time with people like you, bye Felicia!

          • WAKE UP DUMB ASSES

            people like you should not be allowed to vote. you aren’t even looking into the truths behind the Clintons or Trump. It infuriates me that uneducated uninformed people like you are commenting and voting when you know nothing about the truth and real issues.

    • wake up dumb asses

      we are doomed with the young morons who are commenting on this stuff like its the gospel truth. they are too young to know anything about what really went on back when Hillbilly Bill couldn’t keep it in his pants and fucked and sucked his way across the world and back while Killary just wanted to stay with him to get more power. Killary and Trump are the 2 worst presidential candidates of all time.

  • Wake Up Dumb Asses

    This is what’s wrong with this country right here! What a bunch of bullshit! No normal woman is going to stay with a husband who is a rapist. Killary stayed with him for one reason only. He was the most powerful person in the world- a president of the USA and she is a power whore. No normal woman would stay with a man who had numerous, too many to count, affairs. No woman with stay with a man who fucked Monica with a cigar and lied about fucking her at all. I did not have sexual relations with that woman he kept saying. Then why did your cum appear all over her blue dress? Good thing she saved the dress, since it was her only proof and no one would believe her until she showed everyone the dress with his splooge all over it. He is a perverted piece of shit. He promised he would never get rid of the USA jobs and he surely did as soon as was elected. He passed NAFTA. I don’t like Trump either but the Clintons are no good. They are corrupt and have lied time and time again. They pay their way out every situation and even kill people so they don’t get exposed or caught. I want to know how old the author of this article is and how old the people who commented are. Were they even around when Hillbilly Bill was president? He was impeached for Gods sake!
    This is the United of States of America, the greatest country in the world and we have the best colleges in the world, and the best we can do for Presidential candidates is these two clowns????? No matter who wins we are all doomed and our children and grandchildren are also. Wake up you dumb ass author and people who commented.

    • Sandra

      HAHAHAHA DUDE, you know you don’t have to read this blog, right?
      You are bAtshit crazy. Stop watching Fox News!

      • WAKE UP DUMB ASS

        Fox New sucks ,ok Dude? I am speaking the truth. You were probably not even a wet dream in your dads mind when the Clintons were president.

        • b.e.g.

          WAKE UP DUMB ASS, you have one vote. Use it wisely. And shut up already. You are very tiresome.

  • Paulina Alvarado Serrano

    Totally agree. While hard to imagine the precedence of a female president in USA, its sadly even harder to imagine a divorcee female president. This is the level of feminism that I strongly value Hillary for. Obviously it is not my place to say there is not love in that relationship. Like you mention Amelia, we have no idea what goes on privately. But Hillary did what she needed to do to pursure her career goals (become POTUS). Can’t wait to call Bill the first man but more importantly vote for the first female president, Hillary Clinton!

  • Excellent story! “We have no idea what happened” is totally true. We think we know because we have a few facts but in terms of their relationship, we have no idea.

  • Bonnie Clyde

    Hillary “needed” to stay with him to appeal to more voters. Way back then she knew this to be true, long before Trump.

  • Mallory

    “The danger comes when we judge other people’s choices, and when we pretend to have any idea of what’s going on in the internal world of a relationship. The danger comes when we put a value judgment on other people’s lives.”

    I couldn’t agree more! I have so much respect for people and couples that can overcome obstacles in their relationships. And for anyone of us to judge what that couple has gone through or how they are handling their situation is wrong. I am a firm believer that you never know how you would handle a situation unless you are dealt similar cards in life, but there is no “right” answer for how to deal with these types of relationship obstacles.

  • I think its great to point out that we do not ever know the full details of their actual relationship or anyone’s for that matter. Although, while Hillary as a woman supporting the rights of women Bill or not may be seen as a feminist in certain respects, turning their decision to stay married into a so-called nod toward feminism in some way seems unnecessary. Hillary as a woman, supporting women’s rights, is something she worked towards before they were even a couple. She still is and can be, despite their strong albeit controversial political history, a woman with agendas as an individual. And this is the same for any woman. Politically affiliated or not.

  • Casey

    I just read Amelia’s piece, and the comments that followed, and I have to say, I think the respectful discussion, even in which people disagreed with each other, and the response to the troll, really speaks volumes about MR and the community it has assembled. It makes me proud to be a reader.