Nine Kindergartners on Their 1st Month of School

  • Alice, Kindergartner, five years old

    What's the coolest thing you've done in school so far?
    I like to make pies. We put all the different ingredients in it and bake it under the table. That's the oven.

    What's your favorite school lunch?
    I like the turkey wrap. My dessert today was a chocolate chip cookie.

    If you could bring any animal to school, what would it be?
    A mama lion carrying a baby lion in its mouth.

    What's your favorite thing about your teacher?
    She teaches us about numbers.

    What would you do if you were president?
    *Silence*
    [Mom tells me that they are Canadian so she doesn't know what "president" means.]

    What would you do if you were the prime minister?
    *Silence*

    What do you want to be when you grow up?
    President.
    [Mom asks: So what would you once you became president, then?]
    Write letters with hearts. To you and dad.
  • Jax, Kindergartner, five years old

    What's the coolest thing you've done in school so far?
    Going outside to play. [Mom asks: What do you do outside?] Hula hoops and ball.

    If you could bring any animal to school with you, what would it be?
    Mickey Mouse.

    What do you want to be when you grow up?
    Police officer.

    What's your favorite school lunch?
    Chicken and rice.

    What's your favorite thing about your teacher?
    She tells me the calendar.
  • Adrian, Kindergartner, five years old

    What's the coolest thing you've done in school?
    The papaya from the papaya tree in school. We dried them, then we ate them.

    If you could bring any animal to school, what would it be?
    ALL of the animals. [But if you could bring just one?] A dinosaur. Or cheetah because I love cheetahs. They move faster than everything.

    What do you want to be when you grow up?
    A policeman. No, a leopard.
  • Theo, Kindergartner, five years old

    What’s the coolest thing you’ve done in school?
    Go down the zip line on the Eiffel tower. It’s shaped like a reaaaaallllly big pyramid. It’s like this. [Makes triangle with hands.] See? It goes all the way up. I climb up and then I go all the way down it. It’s not scary.

    What’s your favorite thing you’ve learned in school?
    *Unintelligible B-word.*
    [His mom, off screen: "BOUND-AR-IES."]
    Yeah. You can’t go past the boundaries. There’s a bending tree. And there’s a log over here. And there’s a road over here. And you’re not allowed on the gravel because sometimes cars drive on it.

    If you could bring any animal to school, what would you bring?
    I would bring a coyote. Yeah! To keep me safe from the cars.

    What do you want to be when you grow up?
    I want to be a policeman, fireman and an ambulance man. And a mailman. And a hospital man. And I want to be a grown-up.

    What’s the first thing you would do if you were president?
    I would make sure that there were garbage cans. If you leave garbage out everywhere in Whistler, it’s pretty scary. Because bears will eat it and come back and back again and again.

    What’s your favorite school lunch?
    Well I would make sure also that there are phones. It’s really important for phones to be here so that you can call hospitals.

    Okay, but what’s your favorite lunch?
    *Whispers to his mom.*
    [Theo's mom: Sunflower seed butter with banana and honey.]

    And what’s your favorite snack?
    Boats!

    Boats?
    Endives. With yogurt dipping sauce.

    What’s your favorite thing about your teacher?
    Because she said when I put my pinky up that means I have to go to the washroom.
  • Pascale, First Grader, six years old

    What's the coolest thing you've done in school so far?
    Playtime.

    If you could bring any animal to school with you, what would it be?
    A fire-breathing dragon and a puma.

    What do you want to be when you grow up?
    A gardening teacher so I can teach everyone about plants and how good they are.

    If you were president, what's the first thing you'd do?
    Eat a lot of candy and close all the gun stores.

    What's your favorite school lunch?
    Organic chicken sandwich.

    What's your favorite thing about your teacher?
    She says funny things. If you get hurt on your arm she pretends to chop it off.
  • Caroline, Kindergartner, five-and-a-half years old

    What's the coolest thing you've done in school so far?
    Saying things I never said before in Spanish. Like, "El Efuembo."
    [Her mom asks: What's that?]
    I don't know I made it up.
    [Her school starts Spanish in Kindergarten. I think it's 10 minutes a day and introductory words.]

    If you could bring any animal to school with you, what would that be?
    Spike the rhinoceros. [A stuffed animal]

    What do you want to be when you grow up?
    A vet because they help animals.

    If you were president, what's the first thing you'd do?
    Protect the world.

    What's your favorite school lunch?
    Sitting next to Piper. [Her best friend.]

    What's your favorite thing about your teacher?
    She wears pretty dresses.
  • Steven Alexander, Kindergartener, four years old

    What's the coolest thing you've done in school so far?
    The movie. We watched a movie in school.

    What's your favorite school lunch?
    Salad. [Mom asks: Salad? You eat salad at school?] Yes.

    If you could bring an animal to school, what animal would you bring?
    An elephant. Or a jaguar!

    What's your favorite thing about your teacher?
    Learning.

    What do you want to be when you grow up?
    A teenager!

    What's the first thing you'd do as president?
    Make up the rules. [Like what?] Like people rules! [Like what?] Like no running outside because you'll fall.
  • Alexa, Kindergartner, five years old

    What's the coolest thing you've done in school so far?
    Coloring and making pretty flowers.

    If you could bring any animal to school with you, what would it be?
    It would be a cute little bunny.

    What do you want to be when you grow up?
    A painter. I mean a thinker.

    If you were the president, what's the first thing you would do?
    Give the little children some presents and say hello to them.

    What's your favorite school lunch?
    Oh this one's good. Chicken nuggets and pasta.

    What is your favorite thing about your teacher?
    That they teach us and have so many books and tell us so many things.
  • Lilah, Pre-K Student, four years old

    What's the coolest thing you've done in school so far?
    Making popcorn pies in the sand.

    If you could bring any animal to school, what would it be?
    A bear.

    What do you want to be when you grow up?
    A grown-up.

    What would be the first thing you would do if you were president?
    Look at the stars outside my window.

    What's your favorite thing about your teacher?
    She sits with me at lunch and helps me make fairy houses.
  • Eleanor, Kindergartner, five years old

    What's the coolest thing you've done in school so far?
    I’m working on coloring in a mandala.

    If you could bring any animal to school with you, what would it be?
    My parakeet.

    What do you want to be when you grow up?
    Barbie.

    What's your favorite school lunch?
    Jell-O for dessert.

    What's your favorite thing about your teacher?
    She’s really nice.
  • Adelina, Pre-K student, four years old

    What's your favorite thing about your teacher?
    My favorite thing is telling jokes to her.

    What's your favorite school lunch?
    My favorite school lunch is...taco with bacon and salad.

    If you could bring an animal to school, what would you bring?
    A puppy.

    If you were the president, what would you do for the country?
    I would just play with my friends.

    What do you want to be when you grow up?
    I want to be a human.
  • Max, Kindergartner, five years old

    What's the coolest thing you've done at school this year?
    Why?
    [Mom: Because Angel's friend Amelia needs help with an article.]
    Making giant ships out of Legos and making giant towers with blocks.

    If you could bring any animal to school with you, what would it be?
    A blue whale and a giant shark.

    What do you want to be when you grow up?
    A lazy person.

    If you were president, what's the first thing you'd do?
    Go to a toy store.

    What is your favorite school lunch?
    Cookies.

    What's the coolest thing about your teacher?
    She doesn't make us take apart our creations when we have to clean up.
Amelia Diamond | September 30, 2016

Plus a First Grader and Two Pre-K Students, too

Now that I am old enough to have a hip that bothers me and curmudgeon-y things to say about people who loiter outside of 7-11, I look upon those too young to care about germs with tender admiration. They see the world from a knee-down perspective and yet they are always looking up. They have hopes and dreams and ambitions. They have stone-set opinions. They are far more definitive about what they want to eat for lunch than we will ever be, and their spongey brains are constantly learning about the world around them, which is exhausting. No wonder they always need naps. Except they never nap! They run around like wild turkeys, backpacks the size of their entire bodies catching wind like those parachutes that athletes in Nike and Gatorade commercials use to create resistance. Not to mention they harbor a surplus of creativity and imagination. Sigh.

As such — and because it’s the end of BACK TO SCHOOL MONTH, hello, hi! — I asked a bunch of kindergartners, a first grader and a few pre-K kids (with the instrumental help of their parents, friends and family) about their first month of school.

Click through, have a Goldfish cracker and enjoy!

kindergarten

  • ”Eat a lot of candy and close all the gun stores.” What a perfect answer!

    • Mackenzie

      Nailed it.

  • Andrea Raymer

    I, too want to be a lay person when I grow up.

  • Elizabeth Tamkin

    Theo and I are both fans of “Endives. With yogurt dipping sauce.”

    • Verena von Pfetten

      I lol-ed so hard at that part.

  • Haley Nahman

    I died 12 times today

  • Olivia AP

    Hahahaha “Organic chicken sandwich” kids these days…

  • Jolie

    I love kids so much, they’re so unpredictable and deranged. This makes me wonder what kind of random stuff I was saying when I was a kindergartner. Also, I teared up a little at the girl who said she’d look at the stars outside her window if she was president. Like…that’s so sad and weirdly beautiful???? I’m emotional!

  • Hannah

    All I want right now is a taco with bacon and salad.

  • Bailey Stark

    THEE most adorable thing I’ve read all week

  • Jt

    This is just so cute. Great read!

  • This is brilliant! I literally died…hilarious, amazing, beautiful, fun!
    http://www.talesonsilk.com

  • Mallory Harmon

    This made my day!!! The kids are so cute, and their answers are priceless!

  • ESW

    Okay, yeah they say cute and creative things, but WHY is no one talking about their clothes? Their outfits are all ON POINT(e)!