We’re at that inflection point where it’s been summer long enough for you to have worked off the incipient excitement that gets you dressed every morning, but there’s still a solid enough bank of days ahead to justify forcing yourself back into the cycle of excitement. But you know what that’s like, right? You feel guilty because you’re getting kind of excited about fall clothes, even though you’re sweating your ass off and feel fiercely appreciative for said dislocated ass.
You don’t want to shop, no matter how profound the discount, because it’s the end of July, so summer must be over soon, but earth to human! You still have 57 days (not that I’m counting) of summer in front of you, during which you can probably wear a linen shirt, or bathing suit that you buy today approximately, you know, 57 times. Which brings us to the reason we’re here today — accessorizing your swimwear. It’s a sauna out there! In a good way! And it would be super shitty if your boss didn’t account for that the next time you were to appear at work wearing a sarong and full piece bathing suit as though it were a shirt and pencil skirt. So to cap off Let Loose Month on Man Repeller, allow me to not just show you three ways to accessorize your swimwear but then demand that you wear your choice to work.
Exhibit A: How Many Colors Does it Take to Get to The Heart of A Smile?
Color x color x color x color. Who needs a shirt, pray tell, when you can wear a red and blue and yellow bathing suit with parrots on it, I ask? The only thing more impressive and/or valuable? Why, a pineapple sarong, of course! Keep the shoes bright but the smile brighter. I’m sorry if that sounds prescriptive, but I couldn’t help myself.
Item 2: Do You Want to Go to The Plage With Me?
No, but I’ll come to work with you! July is unofficially no pants month, which works perfectly with the above offering. It suggests you forgo coverage in the name of free leg-ing (not to be confused with -balling) and a linen shirt that could have belonged to Chevy Chase at some point, but now belongs to me. Get an arm exercise with bracelets! You have nothing to lose!
Part III: Get Fired or Die Trying
Frankly, if you show up at work wearing a string bikini, I’m not sure what will happen but the good news is, the dress has buttons and can, as such, be ripped open or snapped closed at your leisure.
Leisure! What a novel concept.
Happy beaching. I mean working.
Follow Man Repeller friend and model Tiri on Instagram @ngonngontiri. Photographed by Krista Anna Lewis.