Three-year-olds and lazy Jared Letos had a great run, didn’t they? For at least six years — I think we stopped using hair straighteners after The Hills ended — messy, tousled, unbrushed, middle-parted beach waves were in. The style was more in than that hair wearing a pimple hat burrowed in your bikini line. It was capital T-R-E-N-D.
Well I am sorry to tell you this because effort blows and tangles hurt, but it might be time to start thinking about breaking up the waves and brushing your hair again.
On a dirty-haired and unassuming Thursday I walked into Blackstones salon (the new one, in downtown Manhattan’s Roxy Hotel) with a mission from Leandra for the artists:
Take Amelia’s Connie Britton bouffant — the higher the hair, the closer to heaven, ya’ll!!!! — and make it COOL or she’s fired.
(How many times has Leandra fired me, by the way?)
Now, a few things before we continue: hair posts on myself are tricky because I know that you the readers are a diverse pod(cast) of people with all different hair types. On July 1 we have a multi-faceted gym hair styling story, we have an upcoming styles-that-hide-your-grease story (with three different kinds of textures), and I’d love for you to shout out how-to’s that you need in the comments section because we’re working on them.
It’s also important to stress that no one’s here to say what is and isn’t “good hair.” The relationship between a woman and the dead stuff that grows out of her scalp’s pores is:
– A choice but not always a statement
– Her fucking business
That said I think we can all agree, because of French people and mohawks, that not all hair is created edgy. Especially not mine. Not when you consider its daily height-to-heaven ratio without even the tiniest hint of irony.
But after talking with Blackstones owner Joey Silvestera and salon manager/stylist Maura Burns, I learned that the new way to get edgy hair is to brush it so that it looks like Chloë Sevigny-meets your former youth before you began taking the iron to it.
^ I mean, look how cool and awkward and fluffy and soft it is. Like a pre-teen who got ready for picture day.
And is it easy? Yes. Does it require clean hair? No. Does it require wet hair? No. But can your hair be wet? Damp. Does it require a really expensive hairbrush that I couldn’t bear to buy so I bought the knockoff and the knockoff worked almost just as well? Yes.
Let’s call it the Chloë Sevigny Smoothie because all good hair-do’s have a name; the doughnut bun didn’t rise to popularity on shape alone, you know. And let’s do it together (step by step) in the slideshow above.
Want to stick to your beach waves? Totally fine. Beaches will never not trend. Besides, someone has to twin with Jared Leto, for heaven’s sake. For just this once, I would like it not to be me!
Photographed by Krista Anna Lewis; Amelia wearing an Anine Bing dress.