29 Questions About the Two-Part ‘Girls’ Season 5 Finale

Not including: can anyone else believe this season is already over?

04.18.16
Girls-Season-5-Recap-Ep-9-Man-Repeller-1

We’ve asked a lot of questions this season and gotten few answers, which is the way it goes, I think. Unless you happen upon an unlocked bike on the side of the street, ripe for the taking, the universe rarely screams out to you and gives you what you think you need. But it’s okay.

And we’re okay — better and stronger than we were when we still had waist-length hair and no scruples. We shop at Eileen Fisher now, and we’re happier, maybe? We know how to send fruit baskets and Ubers to rid ourselves of our dick-ish ex-boyfriends. Or is that just Hannah? Because I know I wouldn’t.

I’m sorry to say goodbye to this show this season. I haven’t loved every minute, but, Hannah, you know, it really is just like Frankie Valli sang: Even now, I couldn’t take my eyes off of you.

Episode 9 (The Finale, Part 1):

1. Since when does Hannah have money to pay for breakup Ubers? Good for her!

2. Who is going to Photoshop Khaleesi’s hair onto Ray’s head for me? Whoever you are, please leave your contribution to my eternal happiness in the comments.

3. Okay, who else thought Principal Toby was going to make a move on Hannah? It’s not just me. I know it’s not just me. This show has made me diseased.

4. Hasn’t Hannah not been “headed anywhere in particular at the moment” for five seasons?

5. What do you think Lisa Bonet keeps in her saddlebag? Besides herbal tinctures and unbridled terror charms?

6. Where can I find Elijah? I need to give him a hug and a tub of vegan ice cream.

7. Do you know a real live human who you like who writes “found poetry”?

8. Meanwhile, who is going to volunteer to write me a poem about a tunic?

9. Have you ever stolen a thing because the universe told you to?

10. You always know that no one is really living a perma-happy, super-shiny existence. I mean, did you hear the one about Essena O’Neill? But, still. Is there anything more gratifying than confirmation of that fact?

11. How could you, Marnie? Really, how could you? Are we supposed to be happy or what?

12. When is the last time you burst into hysterics so hard you sobbed? Head to the comments. Tell us everything.

13. Does anyone else feel like this show’s love geometry is getting more complicated than the Kardashians’?

Episode 10:

1. Maybe this is Hannah doing interval training?

2. Have you ever run away from your parents? Actively?

3. Can you even be open to a mom dressed like Pat Benatar?

4. Do you have to be worried that Hermie is voting for Donald Trump? I’m worried. Also, where does one even buy a Romney 2012 poster anymore? They don’t sell them at Housing Works, I don’t think?

5. Isn’t it weird how feeling jealous and like you miss someone sometimes gets all wrapped up together? Like, Jessa, babe, you’re asking Adam why he doesn’t just go get Hannah, but aren’t you sort of saying that you wish you could go get Hannah?

6. Aren’t you glad that Girls and Man Repeller agree on Eileen Fisher?

7. Does the conversation that Elijah and Tad have on that couch — where, remember?, Marnie once had sex in that terrible printed dress one time — make you believe that the future has promise? In that sad, blue-tinted home, I’m having a pretty hard time picturing it.

8. I mean, isn’t it pretty reprehensible of Jessa to do this? Isn’t it worse than reprehensible?

9. Does anyone expect more of Adam and Jessa than this? I don’t.

10. I believe that neither of them is scared and that they’re both truly out of their minds, but I just want to take the opportunity to poll the crowd: Do Adam and Jessa terrify anyone else?

11. How many people in New York City at this moment could utter the words, “I have a podcast. I care”? Estimate!

12. I’m so nervous for Hannah I think I need to vomit?

13. “Because that’s a fact. I’m Hannah forever — no matter what I do, no matter whether I start a new nuclear missile crisis with my emotions or just sit back and chill and give someone a fruit basket. I can only control the mayhem I create around me.” And, really, pals, watchers, viewers, hate-bingers, have you ever heard truer words come out of Hannah’s mouth?

14. Okay, so who here wants me to tell a story about the dude who delivered fruit baskets to my door for just about two years? It’s pretty good.

15. Are you proud of Tad?

16. And, here, it is: Is anyone really too good to be true?

Follow our Girls girl and author Mattie on Twitter @mattiekahn. Photographs by Craig Blankenhorm  for HBO; collaged by Emily Zirimis.

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  • Lebanese Blonde

    ALSO: MAN REPELLER RUNNING OUTFIT

    Re: Jessa and Adam–hit a tad too close to home for me. Totally horrible and totally reprehensible…not for getting together but for not telling Hannah, for not even attempting to apologize or acknowledge they’re causing Hannah pain. They’re much better suited to one another than Adam and Hannah, which I think everyone would have realized, but the way they went about getting together was really really horrible and causes me a lot of second-hand grief for Hannah.

  • Lillian

    I’ve been refreshing ManRepeller all morning in anticipation for this post and the corresponding comment thread. Can I just say, FUCK DILL. I’ve never wanted to squeeze Elijah more. Furthermore, when he winked at Hannah after her Moth story I cried. I can’t help it, he’s just so damn cute and supportive. Even, and especially, when he’s calling people on their shit. I’m going to miss him.

  • Lindsey

    Seriously, been refreshing MR all morning waiting for this. I think these were the best episodes of the season. People finally came to terms with who they are (except effing Marnie, who still is so confused about what it means to be in the world). Shosh and Hannah are both doing things that they are beginning to feel accomplished about, and Jessa and Adam finally confronted the big elephant in the room and it was awful, but *so them*. I could have watched that scene for so much longer, and I love that you actually have no idea if that was make-up sex or their last sex. Tad and Elijah confronted their true emotions and desires and were vulnerable enough to go after them (fuck you Dill!). Loved, loved, loved these last two episodes. Some of the best television writing I’ve seen in a while.

  • Stephanie

    So, I almost quit watching 2 minutes in watching Fran and Hannah have the ugly post breakup fight when Hannah says to Fran that he’d make a good boyfriend to an “Administrative Assistant.” Ouch! They way she said it felt almost pejorative as though Admins are simple, one-dimensional people- which is absolutely not true. Anyway, after getting over the veiled shaming of a particular career choice, I enjoyed the balance of the episodes. The two moments that made me saw “Aww” for different reasons were Elijah becoming vulnerable only to be let down, and Tad going for it with his prior one night stand.

    • Mcolette

      Hannah can’t keep a job because she thinks she’s too progressive for one. She also considers Fran a “square” if that tells you anything. I think she meant that an “Administrative Assistant” would be more of a conformist just like him. I’m an Admin, and I didn’t take any offense to it. It’s Hannah, so I take everything she says with a grain of salt anyways!

      • Stephanie

        Oh totally, I think the comment demonstrated the character’s self-centeredness (totally a made up word) that she can’t see past herself.

    • Lillian

      Ok I loved that line! and her tendency in general to give elaborate characterization to show her disdain. Like when she really didn’t want to drink frozen hot chocolates with your uncle’s girlfriend who is a stewardess named ‘Elodie.’ I guess maybe that happened once, but I like to think it’s just something that Marnie *would* ask her to do.

  • ReadER451

    Both my husband and I thought #3 episode 1 was going to be #7 episode 2. We are sick humans.

  • Brieana

    My favoriteeee part of the two part finale was when Hannah and Tally start cracking up uncontrollably at the sight of Jessa and Adam. One: because there is nothing better than laughing uncontrollably after a blaze. & Two: Because sometimes the universe has a way of shoving it down your throat. & it feels so good when you snort-laugh and fall to the ground at the sucky-shock of it all.

    • AlexaJuno

      Yessss! I was cracking up. I can’t think of one thing that wouldn’t benefit from more Jenny Slate.

      • lucyst0ner

        i love love love her. she was so good in these episodes. i need to seek out obvious child this weekend!!

        • AlexaJuno

          I have watched that movie…alot. You will love.

        • Mcolette

          The guy who plays Fran plays her love interest, and it’s super cute!

  • Liv Kragh

    😀

    • VivianDarkbloom

      Raven black, please!

    • ray-leesi!

      • Daliajjose

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    • Mcolette

      OMG THIS IS AMAZING.

  • Martina

    I started weeping when Hannah started telling her story ,Shosh’s little dance moves, and Hannah’s last scene. Oh and the Adam/Jessa fight scene was so intense I was starting to feel uncomfortable. I hope everyone get it together.

  • AlexaJuno

    Cameo by the Man Repeller work-out-fit! I felt very -in- for noticing.

    This has been their best season yet and last night’s episodes were wonderfully crafted television. Sad to see this show finally really hitting its stride and ending next season. Ah well, all good things…

  • nikilips
  • Abril Saínz

    Brush away.

  • Meredith

    Elijah has always been my favorite. And the only one I didn’t want to throat punch this season. Especially Marnie – the character I hate more and more every season.

  • Jen Jen

    That fight scene was Hot!! And I have that same Eileen Fisher dress! Sassy seperates.. Whah??

  • Secretly Team Hannah

    I have watched Girls since episode 1 and even though I cringe most times and sometimes want to just give up watching it altogether, I feel like this season was actually great. In fact, next to the Adam running to Hannah’s apartment and kicking her door open, I think this is the next best season finale.
    I also secretly still want Adam and Hannah together. IS IT JUST ME?? IS ANYONE ELSE TEAM HANNAH?

    • Mariana

      That season 2 finale was great, I really love that episode. This last one I have mixed feelings. Hannah smiling and running in the end was a little bit strange. Hannah and Adam? I don’t know…him and Jessa seem a better fit for each other, because they are kind of crazy and awkward in the same way lol.

      • KR

        Why does anyone think Adam and Jessa are a good fit? Because they scream at each other and escalate the horrific anger management issues and inability to deal with emotions they each have?

        I hope Laird never leaves his child with them again.

        • Mariana

          In Portugal we have a saying that is “At least you only ruin one marriage/house” :p

          • KR

            Uh yeah…not sure I agree with that. haha

            Adam never threw anything at Hannah.

    • Lillian

      Yes. It’s no secret. I fucking love Hannah. And Adam was so tender with her when things were good. I miss it and I don’t care who knows it.

      • Mcolette

        Same girl, same.

    • pamb

      I want growth for the Girls, so I say no to Adam and Hannah, *sorry*

  • Alarive

    Is there ANY chance that Jessa got pregnant at the end of the episode? Seeing them lying there, especially at his obvious love of being a father, that was my first thought. Anyone?

  • Here’s my question: Why isn’t there a question about the fact that Hannah is wearing the MR x Outdoor Voices workout gear?!

    • Mariana

      yes!! was thinking the same

  • Aggie

    Am I the only one who thought this finale was just okay? To me, I don’t see Hannah as someone who finally realizes things and becomes the wise person, if you take the past episodes of this season, this end doesn’t reflect any of her actions and kinda made me confused. It’s almost like the authors are trying to redeem her character and I’m not having it: I still hate Hannah no matter what she does next because I can forget how horrible she’s been…
    #10 I’m glad that you brought that up, to me Adam has always been a psycho and not matter how nice they made his character in the past season, his violent tantrums are horrifying and NOT acceptable!

  • Mariana

    Ray and Marnie together = super weird! Worst couple ever. Who are with me?

    • Inkygrl

      Right? Don’t you think that Marnie is everything that Ray hates? And that in reality she wouldn’t give him the time of day? But maybe that’s why they work?

      • pamb

        Marnie is the Unattainable Shiksa Goddess for Ray, so I get that. I just don’t get what Ray offers Marnie except his admiration. And hot sex when it was a secret. We’ll see about now. And no one will care that Marnie is dating Shosh’s ex, but we care about Adam dating Jessa?

        • Shoshanna seems to genuinely not care, or at least doesn’t want to waste her energy on it. “Wait, Hannah? No don’t tell me.”

          I don’t think anyone noted that the four characters have barely been together all season past the wedding. All four had completely separate storylines in the finale.

        • cloudy

          exactly, thank you.
          i could not and can not follow why everyone is getting into ‘team hannah’ and ‘oh how awful’… i mean sorry …they aren’t together for quite a while now.
          she has/had a new boyfriend… where is the difference between Jess and any other girl…if they feel drawn to each other.. – why not?

          on the other hand, and that happened to me, boyfriend cheating with best friend, that is a no go… – but that is NOT the case here..

      • Mariana

        In reality this would never happen, a Ray type of guy would never end up with a Marnie girl. He could have a platonic love about her, but that’s it!
        I believe that Ray is going to be the one that is going to see that this relationship is nonsense for each other, that Marnie has NOTHING to do with him. For God sake, they don’t even speak the same language (she must be futile for him and he must be boring for her).

    • Anna

      I know, right! I’m almost angry at Marnie for doing this. She’s so self-centered, I won’t be surprised if she says something like “I’m sorry Ray, I was under the impression of my dream, let’s leave things as they are”.

  • Rafael Srur

    all I can think is about Marnie’s sweater. Where I can buy it, should I rip one my sweaters with a razor, do I actually like it?

    • Alex Hamza

      It’s R13!

      • Thanks Alex Hamza. After the post, I kept thinking and then I remembered IRO, maybe Maison Martin Margiela. Than it hit me, that’s Yeezy. Than it wasn’t none of the mentioned and I became obsessed, I just needed to know a NAME, I didn’t care anymore for the sweatshirt, I just NEEDED a name. Now the obsession is over, I feel the urge to feel the touch of a simple, soft, plain sweat, so thank you again. I think what triggered my distressed thoughts were my curtains, I washed them and now they look like this: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cf3a4c7edaa5078500e09a7e829d9c4c8c9c680d2a65d003b9c9cb8eab76271f.jpg

  • Ana Tavares

    That Moth monologue reminded me of why I love watching Girls in the first place. While Hannah is painfully self-absorbed, I sometimes can’t help but feeling sorry for her. Having to deal with the coming out of your dad, seeing your mom in pain and lost in her marriage and being betrayed by your best friend is more than enough for one person to handle. And while she is a train wreck, I always end up rooting up for her in some way. I am looking forward to see how she will disappoint us next, because that is part of growing up and what actually makes this show interesting.

  • Babs

    Ray carrying that plaid guitar case was the saddest sight I’ve ever seen.

  • Mcolette

    Adam and Jessa are two dysfunctional people who bring out the worst in each other. They will end up destroying each other, just as Jessa predicted. At the end, where you see them lying on the floor naked next to each other, they’re not even touching. They’re not holding each other. I wouldn’t even call that make-up sex. I think it was just an animalistic form of release after an intense fight. They don’t balance each other out. They’re both rage-filled disasters with nobody to ground them. I hope to God, they never have kids.

    • KR

      Thank you. I can’t believe people…and possibly the producers…are romanticizing that situation.

  • Alessia

    “I’m too smart to be exhausted and bored”. I FEEL YOU, TALLY.
    loved this finale.

  • Mcolette

    How perfect was it seeing Desi get a blowjob by some groupie who had a fan website devoted to him called “Desmerized.” Meanwhile Ray is banging on the door trying to get Marnie’s open-toed shoes.

  • MG

    I sort of long for more of an acknowledgement of how ruined the friendship and the possibility of reconciliation are- I just do not know if that is artistically possible or personal yearning. I loved how satisfying the realization that it is over for Hannah but not for Jessa and Adam. I wish I had seen Hannah dropping off the basket. A similar, weird thing happened to me and when I realized it was over for me but not for them. It was almost confusing. I fully expected to still be in pain and I wasn’t. I remember realizing they were sort of haunted by their mutual lingering feelings for me. It was weird but I feel like they kind of deserve it and honestly, each other.

  • Senka

    Does anybody know which brand is Hannah’s top in a part one, with bird motive from? As a crazy bird/parrot lady I’m a bit obssessed with it.

  • These last two episodes were powerful. Hannah clearly does not control the chaos she creates. I’m not sure why she thinks that. I’m proud of Tad and I know his decision had everything to do with Elijah resting on his bosom and telling his truth. Jessa and Adam haunt me. I loved the finale song. It also haunted me for some odd reason.

  • I would advise Hannah to run without listening to music. We rely on music for a burst of adrenaline, but does 30 minutes of adrenaline sound fun?

    I was expecting a cliche scene of Hannah nervously stumbling through her words while speaking at the Moth, but I was happy to see she had a sense of authority over her words. Speaking of Housing Works, The Moth takes place at the Housing Works Bookstore! I donated books there this afternoon without knowing the Girls finale.

    I loved the scene of Shoshanna and Hermie dancing.

  • reagan

    re ep9#3 – SAME. i was waiting for mr principal to either try and get it or sigh-eyeroll-thankgoditsover typical reaction we societally expect to see when the high maintenance person moves on . but there was conclusively neither!!! reading into it .. feeling kinda distraught

  • Luiza Campana

    This season was so good and this two last episodes were amazing! So touching and so funny!!! The Elijah moment with Dill, Hannah’s and Tally’s confesion to each other, Hannah’s short story… I just loved it. And this conversation??? http://anaklin.tumblr.com/post/143053895692

  • Rafael Srur

    Thanks Alex Hamza. After the post, I kept thinking and then I remembered IRO, maybe Maison Martin Margiela. Than it hit me, that’s Yeezy. Than it wasn’t none of the mentioned and I became obsessed, I just needed to know a NAME, I didn’t care anymore for the sweatshirt, I just NEEDED a name. Now the obsession is over, I feel the urge to feel the touch of a simple, soft, plain sweat, so thank you again

  • lucyst0ner

    i love hermie, i don’t think he’d ever vote for trump. i think he’d feel the bern although he’d hate himself for it.

  • pamb

    Was I the only one who was afraid that Tad and Elijah were going to DO IT?

    I laughed so hard at Hannah psyching herself up to run, stopping and starting. And at her running past her parents. And Her mom’s tiger t shirt.

    • Anna

      You’re not alone! Thank God nothing happened between them.

  • Jordan

    Was anyone else concerned that the girl who is locked in Desi’s dressing room was underage? She looked like a high schooler.

  • cloudy

    (i wish there was more Shoshanna this season.
    Shoshanna really grew on me.
    i just love her.

    i already miss her and Elijah

  • Wait — how are we all ignoring the fact that in the episode where Hannah dumps Fran on the road she tells Marnie she was blocked from UBER for poor ratings and in the finale, she is suddenly offering Fran an UBER ride on her account?? What did do to get back in the good graces of UBER?? Also did you know that Ray’s is actually delicious pizza spot: Speedy Romeo?! http://mystilettolife.com/2016/04/20/stop-in-to-speedy-romeo/

    • KR

      I thought she just offered to pay for it. He could use his own account.

  • I’m 100% ready for the spinoff show featuring Elijah and Hannah’s mom

  • Emily

    Xo

  • Frody Rudaker

    Eek.

  • Devon Cansada Wade

    I thought I was the only one who saw the “Romney 2012” sign and immediately threw up in my mouth.

  • Marta Millere

    Loved Shoshanna’s Japanese adventure! The poor thing was a bit lost in translation but then came out of it all much bolder, stronger and more grown up. I think she’s the only one who really left her comfort zone this season.