Is It Spring? I Think It’s Spring. Here Are Three Outfits to Wear
Pull your underpants up to your ribcage and let’s do the damn spring
Spring is the greatest season of the year because everyone knows that transition-weather dressing is practically a euphemism for wearing fashion clothes (or in other words, layers that are futile but look cool) and even though this happens in the fall, too, you know what happens after fall?
Nothing good. So here I propose three outfits to wipe your memory clean of snow boots, starting with a slip dress that may or may not make you look pregnant. What’s that they say? “If you will it, you will be it.”
Skimpy slip dresses in addition to making you feel like you’re still in bed are a great way to show the junk that occurs beneath your clothes. What kind of underwear am I wearing that rides up to my rib cage, you ask? I don’t know. They’re Acne. It’s weird.
Following Paris, I developed this weird hankering to start wearing the slip dresses I was really into last summer (spaghetti strap and almost-ankle length) with short booties that would reveal an awkward sliver of skin between the dress and the shoe. So I tried to bring that point home in this one blue dress by a Russian brand called Walk of Shame and the photographed boots. The trench coat was a nice way to keep my shoulders warm and facilitated that other fun game I like to play callediv: match your hemline to your coat length or throw yourself down a flight of stairs. Good thing I dodged the throw down, ey?
Moving on to exhibit two.
Here’s a shrug that I fastened with a Lulu Frost decorative pin and paired with a pair of eggshell high waist, wide leg jeans that are just, like, half a size too small on me to demonstrate one fantastic condition of warmer weather dressing: you can air out your stomach whenever you want to. I chose a pair of blue and green flatforms that didn’t really match the rest of the outfit because matching is for suckers and also totally relative/a construct of what your eyes believe looks good. For me, that means looking like a TriBeCa mom (pants) who is fascinated by Japanese culture and footwear, but not enough to actually wear it, just to buy shoes that really, really vaguely resemble traditional Japanese getas, who has just gotten back from vacation in a shrug.
And finally, here’s a multi-stripe knit mini dress covered by a suede bomber jacket paired with counter stripe socks and the least unique loafers on earth right now. I wore this outfit last Friday and felt like $1,000,001. That extra dollar at the end of the million is the direct result of the frizzies on my forehead, which indicate humidity, which reminds me of being hot, which makes me feel like it’s really happening: summer is coming. Of course, though, before then we have months of nonsensical outfits to look forward to, let this function as a kicking off point and please, as they come up in your own closets, share your selfies (either down below, or on Instagram using the hashtag #SpringIsTheThingAndImFuckingWeird — or, you know, #MRSpringSelfie).
Photographed by Krista Anna Lewis.