Gucci’s Winter 16 collection was six looks shorter than its Pre-Fall collection but not at all lacking in the department of innovation, a problem it ran the risk of bumping into given the overwhelming popularity of The New Eccentric — a personality that the house has manufactured under the stewardship of its new creative director, Alessandro Michele. How long, after all, could a pair of thick rimmed glasses paired with a brocade dress and coat plus mink cuffs actually feel fresh, anyway? But not to worry, nurturers of the sequined cat and honorers of the tall-as-human platform — Michele is shrewdly doing his part to ensure that the new tricks don’t become old tricks, injecting what appears like a sedated take on The Eccentric in some instances and offering up a couple of styling tips to use at your leisure.
Let’s break those down, shall we?
Tip #1: Buy a double breast men’s coat that is 5x your size and wear it with skinny jeans (incidentally not yet dead in Milan) that you’ve cut to feature fray.
Tip #2: Consider what a pair of white socks would look like paired with your favorite metallic sandals. Give yourself a pat on the back if against better judgement and knowing that Gucci’s Spring 2016 slide would become the shoe on every foot in fashion, you still bought them. You deserve it because now you can wear them all fall/winter long with white socks (and even paint your own green and red stripes onto them should you feel so inclined!).
Tip #3: Monochrome top-to-bottom in curious colors. Black and white are fine, whatever, but turquoise is the definitive opposite of obvious, eh?
Tip #4: Don’t underestimate your suit. No, it’s not “over,” and neither do you look overly corporate — especially, I might add, if you can dig up a tassel belt to wear looped around your collar hanging by your bosoms and an old necklace from the embellished-bauble days of yore to fasten across the front lapels.
Tip #5: Donna Summers may have called it “The Last Dance,” but ’round these parts, they look more like the clash dance. And in this reality, there is no such print unwelcome above the waist line. Take an old printed tie from your dad, or brother, or partner and tie it around your neck, pussy bow-style. Add a counter print cardigan and still another printed button down to layer under the cardigan, then include a bomber, or blazer, or whatever you feel most comfortable using a top layer and shake your hips from side to side while you parody ’70s lyrics on the ’16 stage.
I feel like a new person. You?
Photographs via Vogue Runway