Sometimes I feel like even though I’m 27 and therefore, technically speaking, very much a millennial, I’m not actually getting The Millennial Experience because I got married too soon. Never could I subject myself to the simultaneous ridicule and majesty of app-dating nor could I bask in the solitude of living alone — just me and my Postmates, green smoothies and proclivity for athleisure.
Recently, two of my close friends got engaged and as such are grabbing technology by its virtual horns, manifesting wedding registries using an array of web-based services that are essentially shoppable Pinterest boards wherein you sign up, create a stock list and then watch as your future wedding guests buy you shit.
Now, I know I’m married and that registering again is unconventional and dare I say redundant/selfish/obnoxious, but I often think about what I would request if I could do it again. Carrie Bradshaw truly believed she not only deserved but worked for the Manolo Blahnik heels that she registered for in that episode called “A Woman’s Right to Shoes,” (yes, I just know that, no, I’m not a serial killer) and it is my belief that while plates are helpful, decadent and overpriced, stools for which to interact with your plates are much more satisfying.
Sometimes when I’m tired, or feeling blasé, or pretending that life is a round of Monopoly and the Internet is my board game, I think about what I’d do with its offerings. What would I buy? What would I throw away? Could I cure irritable bowel syndrome?
Here’s what’s on the docket for this round of Indulgent is I. Much the same way Man Repeller author Brittany Berckes pronounced a call-to-action to celebrate the achievements of your peers beyond their nuptials, you should feel comfortable considering this a sort of call-to-action, too. Because, really, if it’s okay to ask people to buy you shit when you’re getting married, what’s so bad about doing the same when you’re not?
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