You know what can be overwhelming?
I don’t have time to wait for you to answer that question! It’s too overwhelming! So I’ll just say it:
Getting back to work after the end-of-year break sucks.
At least after the summer come the holidays — first Halloween, then Thanksgiving, then–
You know the drill. But after New Year’s …after New Year’s, there’s no new break nearby. Quite the contrary. Just a shit ton of winter. Say goodbye to nice shoes and hello to boots with traction! Who needs a snazzy if not frivolous but completely uplifting statement coat when you can wear a compression comforter with sleeves on it, am I right?
Of course I’m not right.
This is without question the worst stretch of the year. I would rather listen to Rebecca Black sing about all the other days of the week than face the upcoming three months, but I’m an adult (evidence: I’m still citing Rebecca Black as a relevant pop culture reference), so I can’t just lift the covers over my head like a groundhog and come out only when the sun’s shadow has assured me it’s not going anywhere. I have to engage. To participate and contribute to society as any other self-respecting Samaritan would. And the only way to do that, as far as I’m concerned, is to enlist empathy. Which is why I made three quarters of the Man Repeller pie share their to-do lists for the first day back. Yes they would be exhausting — would things like order lunch ever even go checked off? — perhaps, too, infuriating. (Really, you’re gonna put “call grandma” on your list?) But ultimately, they would also be comforting.
You know how it goes
Misery loves company. So, please! Impart your to-do list in the hamper below or at the very least, enjoy ours and wonder why Yvonne (the woman behind the Twitter account, for the uninitiated), has to call Virgin America.
Photographed by Krista Anna Lewis