Netflix & Chill Is the End of Romance

Good thing we’re already jaded.

11.18.15
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Romance has never been our generation’s forte. Second dates are typically followed up with long blocks of confusion-filled silence, broken only by the brave (or bored) party’s “Hey!”-of-a-Hail-Mary text — whose recipient likely “won’t see it” until 2 am when the only appropriate response back is, “Hi, u out?”

We’re great at this.

“Netflix and Chill,” the millennial code for sex, has only further convoluted the modern dating process. Come over and hang, or come over and bang? What’s the difference and who cares if popcorn is involved?

We aren’t the first to invent sweatpanted-panting, of course. Before the Internet, one was courted via cordless with the classic pick up (land) line, “Dinner and a movie?”

Prior to that, it was drive-in theaters a la Danny Zuko.

The difference between then and now is that our parents’ “park-and-chill” didn’t replace pivotal steps in the wooing process, it merely facilitated the necessary rounding of bases. Going to the movies was still a proper date. At the very least, you were out of the house.

For those recalling high school make out sessions to the din of DVDs (and Blu-ray!) and wondering if that was the beginning of the end, give your younger selves a little more credit. Back then, your “date” had an excuse: a curfew. Watching a movie with your crush meant more literal face time than a date-date (considering that physical separation is typically required in public and for travel). It was efficient; two birds, one bone.

And yet here we are now, twenty-something adults, “20 minutes in to Netflix and Chill.” Those “relatable posts” make it look like recipients of the lazy invite are surprised at their hosts’ true intentions — and maybe we were, at first. (How are you supposed to know that Downton Abbey is an innuendo? That buffering is a cue for…buffering?) But we’re well-aware of what it means (shout out to the memes) and we’re a bit too smart to be doing this: complaining that romance is dead while calling an Uber and pulling on leggings to appear both casual and cute.

So why go?

Because Netflix and Chill is the ultimate companion test.

Do we have the same taste in television? What about movies? How is your binge-watching endurance? *Fast forward through hook up* Will you laugh at the same parts that I laughed? Are you a mid-show talker? A plot ruiner? One of those people who asks questions even though I haven’t seen this movie either? Can I have your Seamless password?

Maybe it is better to find this out at once rather over the draining course of multiple courses, fourth dates, bad stoop kisses and missed signals.

But if romance is, in fact, dead, then to hell with grandma’s rules. Be the Netflix and Chill initiator, invite him over, control the remote, and enjoy your third date from the comfort of your couch.

Illustrated by Maria Sainte. Follow her on Instagram!

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  • Erin

    will you guys do a “should i buy this” again soon? i love those!

    • Lorraine Jones

      Yahoo CEO, Marissa Meyer has gone so far as to Support the practice “Work at home” that I have been doing since last year. In this year till now I have earned 68k dollars with my pc, despite the fact that I am a college student. Even a newbies can make 34 an hour easily and the average goes up with time. Why not try this . as

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    • Della Lawson

      Yahoo CEO, Marissa Meyer has gone so far as to Support the practice “Work at home” that I have been doing since last year. In this year till now I have earned 67k dollars with my pc, despite the fact that I am a college student. Even newbies can make 37 an hour easily and the average goes up with time. Why not try this .. tgyh

      http://www.teamworkhub.cn.nf

  • Hunter

    Amelia !!!!!

    How are you so right about everything?!

  • mfashionfreak

    haha if someone said that to me, i would take it seriously, netflix and chill sounds perfect haha ( the real netflix and chill.. )

  • Brielle Saggese

    I feel like “Netflix and Chill” is the doppelgänger for the coffee date: if you’re unsure about a relationship, it’s the perfect scenario to spend time without the commitment of a time requirement. For example, a dinner date has a certain routine to it. You sit down, order, chat, eat, pay and leave. Depending on the restaurant, this process takes a rough 40 minutes to an hour. If it’s not going well during the salad course, there’s no way to bow out until you’ve both eaten your lasagna. But as for a coffee date, you can stretch it in either direction. If after one cup you’re not feeling it, that’s it and the date can be over. But if things are going well, coffee can stretch really as long as the caffeine lasts. In the same way, Netflix gives you that option. Let the Friends go just for one episode, or for all ten seasons, it’s up to you.

    • the only thing that bothers me about N & C is that we’re alone in an apt, whereas drinks are in a public space. I mean i should be able to peace out in both scenarios but I just feel like in a public space he would be less likely to pull any douchey shit before I can figure out that he is indeed a douche.

    • I think the difference is that you’re actually talking during a coffee date. Yeah there’s “dinner and a movie” but netflix and chill seems to cut out the conversation part.

      I’ll add that my first date with my boyfriend was a 6 hour coffee date. Things are still working out 3.5 years later

  • Rosaly

    hahahah “can I have your seamless password” just killed me thats just genius. I will try to be the initiator next time for sure! He better like watching Gossip girl…

  • Caitlin Kramer

    Amelia, I couldn’t agree more 🙂 http://summercamp98.com/2015/the-romance-apocalypse/

  • Catbird

    I can’t believe I am writing this in public, but it’s Danny Zuko. No C. Prob bc C’s are for pussies.

    • Amelia Diamond

      You makin fun of me, rizz?

      • Catbird

        some people are so touchy.

  • Mia

    I laughed so many times while reading this, I am of the opinion that romance is dying who’s fault it is, and why its happening can be chalked up to a whole host of things but there is also a positive side to the age we live in now. We don’t have all the boundaries and taboos we did back when our parents dated (especially asian parents). I feel like it gives us the opportunity to get to know someone better, and allows us to see their true natures before anything is set in stone.

    http://www.justanotherasiangirl.com

  • Brit

    Ooooooo so THAT’s what Netflix and Chill means! (crawls out from under rock)

  • Eliana Gil Rodriguez

    Personally I don’t get the implication that it’s any less romantic than any other type of hangout. In my experience spending time with someone in your/their natural habitat without the usual façades of “real” dates is often both conducive to and evidence of real intimacy.

  • kforkarli

    So do people actually just watch Netflix? I remember dating a boy when I was 14 and he invited me over to watch that awful neo-nazi gutter stomp movie (American History X). It scarred me for life but we did get to make out. 3 years later it was, “come help me study”. I don’t think the intentions change, just the lingo and I think I would feel better about a NAC message than a “Wat u up to?” text.

  • Sondra Sorenson

    This illustration made me laugh, nice job Maria!