I’ve recently grown a violent aversion toward scarves. I do not use the word violent lightly. As a matter of fact, just last week Amelia tumbled into the office wearing the kind of scarf that temporarily paralyzes neck movement and in that moment, a pit inside my belly started to fire up and suddenly, I knew I had a moral obligation to make the paralysis more permanent. So I killed her and now she’s dead.
I’m just kidding, she is still very much alive and in fact seated to my left and picking at gray hairs at the crown of her head while attempting contact with Marie Kondo (What? We want to meet her) and my aversion really isn’t that violent but I will tell you that I just don’t like scarves anymore. They’re bulky and distract coats and look weird with cropped leather jackets which seems to be the most popular way to wear them in November and even though they’re not unnecessary, they can be avoided thanks to turtlenecks and turtleneck-laces and high collars and sweaters, so I’m avoiding them.
And when I say sweaters, by the way, what I mean is not those that you wear over your person — I mean those that you creatively repurpose as scarves. This is an idea that I stole from
a) Lucy Chadwick
b) Rosetta Getty’s Fall 2015 look book
c) Ham sandwich
Turning old sweaters into scarves is a pretty good way to recycle them without feeling like you’re forcing yourself to wear stuff you don’t want to be wearing, and using new sweaters to compliment other sweaters is a good way to express a sense of personal style that challenges the traditional ways we’re taught to keep warm, which makes the practice a metaphor for living a fulfilling life, rejecting compliance and questioning the system in pursuit of divine truth.
I’m kidding. It just looks cool. Try it. Here’s a how-to GIF.
Photographed by Krista Anna Lewis