Tinder is Trash

One writer’s answer to last week’s prompt: find a street style pic and long-form caption it.

10.03.15
tinder-is-trash-who-what-wear-the-styleograph-man-repeller-writers-club-street-style-tinder

Ahh the many cliches of tinder.  Who have you matched with?

Romance is dead.

I don’t even know why I bother checking Tinder. I know the guys on there are just looking for hookups. They don’t want to get to know me, they don’t want to listen to what I have to say. They probably don’t even care to know my name. Every boy I come across either has a foot fetish, is obsessed with his abs, or has a picture of his weird pet lizard — not to judge. I just think that at the very least, they could show off something real they have to offer.

And what’s with calling me baby? Or babe?

…How many girls do you think these guys are referring to as baby, or babe?

A woman needs intellect, respect and value. What happened to the days of mutual attraction? Sending flowers? Or at the very least asking, “How are you doing?” What happened to the days where you didn’t have to worry about texts?

We need a romance revolution. No more games, no more guessing and no more wondering. We should all say how we feel, and not be afraid to say, “I love you.” Let’s commit to relationships! And treat each other equally. Having a penis or a vagina doesn’t change the fact we’re all still human.

Dating apps have become a game, yes, but if you’re not ready for romance, don’t play with people’s feelings. You have no right to pluck someone’s heartstrings if you’re not there to create music. Don’t contribute to the world of assholes, dude. We have plenty.

Wow. Checking Tinder just opened up a whole bottle of emotions there, huh? I was just walking along, going about my day, living life, to suddenly performing a sidewalk soliloquy about the state of modern dating. Maybe I should talk to someone about this — just to see how they feel about it. To know that I am not alone. The guy behind me seems nice…maybe he could be part of my romance revolution. Someone has to reawaken the art of love; maybe we can. Okay, before I approach him, let me put this phone away. Tinder is trash, and if I don’t pay attention to where I’m walking, I’ll crash.

Follow the author, Brisa Gomez on Twitter.

Photograph by The Styleograph via Who What Wear

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  • Julie

    The only response I could possibly have to this great post is “YES.”

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  • Mar McCreary

    Argh this is hard. Part of me realizes that Tinder and dating apps aren’t going away so I should just join the trend, but all my Tinder relationships have vaporized as easily as they appeared, no matter how intense or long-lasting the connection. Does that mean people of our time are going to have to wait around for romance even more than before?

    • Christina Downey

      My last pay check was 7976 dollars working 9 hours a week online. My
      sisters friend has been averaging 17k for months now and she works about
      19 hours a week. I can’t believe how easy it was once I tried it out.

      This is what I do…

      56

  • alex

    I literally died when I read the title to this story. In a moment of weakness I downloaded tinder for a total of 40 mins the other day and “noped” 40 people while screaming “TRASH!” At my phone. Ahahhaha

    • Po Go

      if you had “literally” died, you wouldn’t have been able to post a comment. sigh.

    • KayGee

      this is what’s killing off a generation. We hate EVERYTHING, EVERYONE, and EVEN OURSELVES!

  • Molnár Fruzsi

    Totally agree. These guys thoughts are just about one-night stands. Of course you hope there is an exception, like you, but there is none of it. I hade more Tinder dates and every of them was about disappointment. You just need to remember: no exception! Be yourself and open your eyes.

  • Madsi

    Totally agree! But I can barely remember how people used to meet before Tinder. Ok, there is the classic way when a friend introduce you to another friend. But basically does that mean that I have to talk to a stranger in the line at Starbuck or something… It just seems so weird now!

  • Katja P.
  • What would happen if no girls agree to casual sex on tinder/dating sites? or at least go back to the 3 dates rule? Does any of you remember the 3 dates rule? jeesuz, Can you imagine how that would change the game/ world?

  • Ayşe Betül Tekeli

    what a great and true post is it. and I’m asking what shell we do then. how can we find the true romance. where can we find that. lets think!

  • You know, I actually met my current BF who is by far the kindest and most wonderful man through Tinder. The key: go in with little to no expectations and give people a chance. You never know! You might meet the man/woman of your dreams, make a few good friends, or come away from the whole experience with an awesomely bad dating story to tell for years to come. Trust me, the days of sending flowers and committing to relationships aren’t over. Have faith and keep swiping!

  • PREACCCHHHHHH

  • Merillionaire

    I totally disagree with this. There are great people on the app. A successful relationship from Tinder involves the same things as meeting someone any other way–patience and the ability to weed the trash from the worthwhile.

  • While it is good in SOME aspects that there is less pressure on some people to commit to relationships when it does not suit them, I think we are definitely losing ground on romance and love and people are then forgetting how great and right it is for the majority of people!

    Kyah – http://www.weekendtempo.com

  • Coty Brown

    If you’re lonely and single af in real-life, you’ll be lonely and single af using a dating app too. The problem is you. I’m convinced people who hate tinder came to it single af expecting the app to work magic and make them not single. If no one wants to date you in real life no ones going to want you on an app either. Meanwhile all the pretties are meeting matches and finding happily ever afters while you rant about an app that was supposed to magically make you dateable and complain that love is dead and dating is dead and our generation doesn’t understand love. It’s like no .. People are dating and our generation understands love. .. Just no one is dating you. #yourewelcome

  • G.

    From a male perspective, women want the same thing (yes, there are sleezy women too). Please realize that a MAJORITY of all people on these apps, male or female, are simply there to “hook up”. Apps are NOT the place to find love and as mature as we are, we still trick ourselves into thinking that a “TINDER” app will lead to something real. There are exceptions to every rule, and I’m sure there are some Tinder true love stories; just few and far between.

  • hay

    You should probably delete the app if you feel this way.

  • Miriam Kalson

    I just wonder where are those guys everybody says that look for relationships. still have not found them. really.

    True post. sad. but so true.

  • thatsalliaskofyou

    I met my boyfriend on tinder. Maybe you just haven’t looked hard enough.

  • Summer Gee

    Well written article, but I have to disagree. I (completely unexpectedly) met my boyfriend on Tinder and have never been happier. I cynically went into our first date not expecting much but we hit it off right away. That was almost a year ago and we’ve been dating ever since. There are certainly a lot of creeps out there but there are also great people. The app attracted you and you seem to be a smart, well-adjusted woman, so keep an open mind and understand there are smart, well-adjusted men using the app as well. Don’t rely solely on online dating to meet your match, but certainly keep an open mind. I did and things are going great. It’s not fair to generalize and say that everyone on Tinder is playing games, because that is simply not the case.

  • Preach!

    Amber
    amberbutbetter.blogspot.com

  • Ehn

    I don’t know. I met my current boyfriend on Tinder and he’s wonderful. I did go through a shit ton of gonzos before him though…

  • Aydan

    I’ve also realized that this is totally dependent on your city, sexual orientation and what not! I was just visiting a friend in NYC (I live in Seattle), hes gay, I’m a straight girl and I was talking about how in Seattle tinder is largely dating, while he mentioned that in NYC its more hook up. But for a gay boy in NYC he’s found it to be more dating, while in SF (where he used to live) it was more hook up!

  • Maybe I live in a bubble, but I never realized people used Tinder seriously! Or perhaps it’s more of an American thing? I think I’ll stick to meeting my lover the old fashioned way – via the Tim Horton’s lineup.

    • Rosaly

      Oh Canadians are so funny. haha Tim Hortons! Maybe ill have to move there and see if it works for me

  • TRISTVN SKPN

    I met my girlfriend (10 months now wow time flies), on fucking tinder.

    What gives?

  • After going through the waves of using tinder, then deleting it, downloading it again, then deleting it again, etc… with no luck, I decided to finally delete it for good. I recently downloaded Bumble and I am loving it! It’s really nice because the girl has to initiate the conversation and she has 24 hours within the matching time to do so. If she doesn’t say anything within 24 hours the match goes away. It’s been great so far because then I don’t worry about unwanted harassment from tinder boys, and the time limit also gives me a little push to actually initiate the conversation. Seriously, I’m not a rep or anything for this app, but I wanted to share with you all because it’s definitely way better than tinder!!

  • Dugh_I told you so

    My Tinder Trash

    Here are I am. A well educated, traveled, informed 41-year old female in search for love, or a nice mature dude that can hold his own and be there with his 2 balls when I need him.

    I was back on the market after a 11-year relationship, a lukewarm childless marriage and poor (on his side). I screwed the real estate agent (who was really cute and incessantly asked me out after I signed contract) and then, a series of misfits from Tinder.

    I noticed, that no one, even in a fast pacing city like NYC, is comfortable being by alone. Deep down, we are looking for some kind of warmth, kissing, and perhaps good quality fucking. Looks like you can only get 2 of the 3. Sorry ladies. The ones that render all 3 are taken.

    In my endeavor, I found married looking for love, married looking for a fuck, divorced looking for somehting-something, divorced who are lost, and don’t know what they want…because his wife fucked another guy that was better than him. Nice. I didn’t believe in love after my divorce (perhaps I am divorced looking for something, or divorced looking for please like me for once….I need it, now). I met an international guy (against all my non-long-distance convictions) and took on it. He was smart, sexy, had a hot accent and a big one (what a surprise!). He dumped me as soon as he realized I was totally in love…..as a rebound I jumped on to swiping right like a mad cow to get my brains out of his crotch…I met the nicest, well intended also international who lived locally. Spoke 2 languages and moved like an animal. I was hooked. He was so smooth I couldn’t believe my luck….Is it possible to find love in Tinder after all? This guy is long term material! We lasted more than 2 dates…WOW! Which now is a major accomplishment (sadly for you girls just starting). A couple of months in, future plans, trip together, family introductions and I’m ready to get in there for whatever it needs…he freaks out…he turned out to be the dude whose wife fucked another dude….and even 4 years later, he has no clue how to handle that.
    Geeh, lucky me!

    He dumped me on New Years Day, after a night of revealing fortune-telling, belly dancing and palm-reading promises. People are complicated….have a lot of unresolved issues that surface at timely occasions….all for a good reason or personal convenience, so you are more prepared to meet the next one. Yay!

    Lesson for your next search:
    LADIES, be classy! Have a conviction of who you are, and who should be around you and in your future. Judge, because you are being judged. Be picky because you deserve it. And if that is not good enough for him, you’ll find another slave that will gladly accept. Hopefully, someone who’s not splitting dimes with you, and luckily with a sex drive that only you can satisfy.

    To Love, and a loved one.