You’re Probably Type A-Minus

Amelia Diamond | July 7, 2015

And if you are, you’re among friends

Type-A-Minus-Man-Repeller The term “Type A” is thrown around far too often. “I’m perfect,” is what it translates to. “I’m just compulsive about it.”

Many of us identify under this umbrella of mild psychosis. We use it strategically in interviews when asked, “What’s your weakest attribute?” We offer it as an apology when we’re being bossy about the right way to cook an egg. We say it because we make our bed every morning, find spreadsheets satisfying, and create itineraries for casual vacations. But the reality is that unless diagnosed as such by a doctor, we’re not all-the-way obsessive. We’re 90 percent.

We’re Type A-Minus.

Take comfort in this.

To be Type A-Minus means that you have your shit together a majority of the time. In one area. You’re labeled a rock star at work; you fire off emails while taking calls and crossing tasks off your to-do list. You make your boss happy and proud. You secretly believe the company would crumble without your contributions…

And yet your personal life is a mess. You’re late to every date. You have no clue where your wallet is an aggressive majority of the time. You frequently search for your phone while speaking on it and it’s possible that you’ve forgotten to shower at least three days in a row.

Hence the minus.

Or!

You’re a household clean freak. People gasp upon arrival to your sparking abode. They marvel at your pillow-fluffing abilities and wonder aloud about how you keep things so tidy…

If only they peeked behind the couch, inside your drawers (that don’t fully open) or in the back right corner of your closet.

You workout every day until you don’t at all.

You religiously disinfect your hands but rarely wash your face.

Of course you brush your teeth after every meal!

But no. You do not floss. And it’s been years since you’ve seen a dentist.

To be Type A-Minus means you start writing a series of Thank You cards with reverent, loop-minded cursive. By the time you’ve reached your final five notes of gratitude, you’re scratching up the paper to warm dry ink and opting for a smiley face instead of actual words. You can spend hours on your Pinterest boards but mere seconds on your homework, and you’ve routinely questioned which one you need more: Xanax, or medication for ADHD.

Well guess what, A-Minus Tribe?

It means you’re one of us. You’re human. And that earns you at least a gold star.

Photographed by Krista Anna Lewis, Styled by Ella Viscardi  lazy

  • Minda McDorman

    amelia diamond, you are my spirit animal.

  • Casey Sharbaugh

    Wait this is def my tribe…also I got lots of A-s in high school so there’s that

    http://www.comfortablycasey.com

    • Amelia Diamond

      WELCOME

  • I am the mentality of an A type mixed with the follow-through of a Z type.

  • Aydan

    I feel like how I approached getting my driver’s license all those years ago perfectly sum this up. Went into driver’s ed the second I turned 15. Couldn’t get it together to take my driving test until 17.5. Classic Type A-.

    • Amelia Diamond

      classic

    • kline, mara r.

      i couldn’t get it together to take my driving test until i was 21………… no judgements here.

    • I’m 26. Still have no idea how to drive, and can’t be bothered to learn. (I’ve lived in NYC since I was 18) My boyfriend has a car, but I hate all car rides whether they’re 10 minutes or 3 hours. My understanding of the world really is mapped out by my ability to get somewhere with public transit

    • Lua Jane

      Got my driving test at little over 17 (couldn’t get a licence in my country before 18, at the time). But drove car maybe four times after that, because I can’t get my self to drive. I have this crippling fear, and that’s perfectly fine. There is public transportation, there are taxies, and it’s not that much more expensive if you count gass and parking fees. I am also an expert walker with a pair of flats in my bag at any time.

    • lillylilacs

      Got my permit at 16.5 and get my license at 23.

  • Allie Fasanella

    hahah I’m gonna say I’m a type B+ tbh. seeing as i clearly can’t even spell out phrases and use capitals.

    • Amelia Diamond

      that’s just mad buzy

  • haha I love this. I’m also one of those people whose room is either spotless or a complete dump… I guess, as you said, that just makes me human !

    http://summerisntover.com

  • mollie blackwood

    I never and I really mean never lose anything but I have looked for my cell phone WHILE HOLDING IT IN MY HAND. Also, I haven’t brushed my teeth today but have managed to do a couple loads of laundry. A- all the way!

  • Thank you for the gold star!

  • I make an itinerary for every trip I go on and I’m usually 5 minutes early to everything, but I let a $3 tollbooth ticket turn into a $95 one because I just didn’t feel like paying it for 7 months. As for the medication: both.

  • BK

    I knew I wasn’t alone

  • Hannah Cole

    At least now I know where I belong – incredibly anal yet incredibly blasé at the same time

  • Carlotta

    I’ve never felt more understood in my entire life!!! ✊

  • Wow this hit home. Never thought of looking at it this way, and people never understood how I can be so obsessive about one thing, and then completely “idontgivea-” about others. Loved your brainwhisps Amelia, A- for life!

    • Amelia Diamond

      i love the word brainwhisps!

  • Milda Zim

    oh my god! finally… someone explained my whole being! 😀

  • Regan Woods

    this is too good

  • This is so clever and so on point for an alarmingly large portion of us ladies. Like, could this be the “investigative journalism” piece to the dark side of our faux instagram lives?! IDK. #truth

  • Accurate!!! I have found my home. 🙂

    • Amelia Diamond

      Where have you BEEN!??

      • I’ve been wondering what my twitter bio was missing! I am soooo adding ‘Type A-minus’ to the ridiculous drivel about how cool I am. 😀

  • Amelia Diamond

    I LOVE THIS GIF

  • Mel

    Ughhhh this is basically my life story. All the way back to my kindergarten report card, which said I was a bright little kid who did great work– but who needed help “organizing herself” and “had trouble with transitions.” Now excuse me while I go look for a pair of sunglasses that I’m definitely wearing on my head.

  • Connie
  • Susan
  • Cheers to the type A-! Totally me, as I rebook my flight to London because I didn’t get my passport on time, while simultaneously killing it at work…. with an organized fridge, full of expired stuff….

  • Marget
  • Recently got a job as a developer and am finishing my last classes at college. I got mostly A minuses and said f*ck it a lot when my programs wouldn’t work, usually after hours of staring at the code, half-assing my imagined Type A-ness. I appear to be doing well at work, however. I have a useless BA under my belt along with several years’ worth of temp jobs I hated. I can’t hold a single goddamn thought in my head and often consider asking my doc for Adderall.

    I even bookmarked this blog post a week ago and never came back to it until now.

    Could it be that I’ve found my people?

    • Amelia Diamond

      hhaha yes ma’am. welcome!

  • Ajnira Muminovic

    I would take xanax, thank you 😀
    Now I know I’m not alone!!!

    xx
    majnira.com

  • Jose Angel

    I’m screaming…

  • Sarah Kline

    Haha! Interesting. I feel I’m blend of A plus and A minus. Nice article by the way.
    http://www.iamj.es/

  • Kelsie

    Have never identified more with anything in my life. I run a company, but couldn’t come in one day last week because I lost my car keys. They are still lost. Still.

  • Alyssa Cohen

    Me to a T

  • Monica Salvatore

    A- here! This is just what I’ve always thought about my personality, you just put it into words! Clean freak, but don’t plan anything about anything, so A- minus. Thanks Amelia!

  • Monica Salvatore

    A-minus here too! This is what I’ve always thought about my personality, you just put it into words! I’m happy I’m not alone anymore. Thanks Amelia!

  • Sabletoothtigre

    I’ve been a self-proclaimed imperfectionist for years!